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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Hating the lying!

30 replies

OctoberCupcake · 09/09/2015 19:09

Evening! I'm only 6+3 so ages until we'll be telling anyone (apart from maybe 1 or 2 close friends) and I can't believe how much of a struggle it is already!

Don't judge me, but it's no secret amongst my social & work circle that I like a glass of wine or 3 on occasion. I've got no idea how I'm going to lie my way through the next 6+ weeks!

I'm going to a boozy work related event tomorrow afternoon, a boozy BBQ at the weekend, and in the next few weeks a 30th dinner party, my own birthday and 3 days with my DM & Nan (who both also like a glass of wine).

It seems my statement of 'I'm driving' or simply 'I'm not drinking tonight' cannot be taken as an answer, without me being probed as to why, and frequent attempts at persuasion to change my mind.

Any tips?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

winchester1 · 09/09/2015 19:14

I faked drinking bottles of beer. Dumped them out in the loos when I got the chance. Also brought my own vodka and coke without the coke. It was much harder the second time as home drinking with friends and family is a while diff thing. Do you have any close friends you can tell that can help you hide it?
Would you consider just telling a few more people esp your mum and nan?

winchester1 · 09/09/2015 19:16

You could also say your dieting, unless you are already really slim of course.

Original poster

OctoberCupcake · 09/09/2015 19:41

I'm not going to tell my Mum & Nan, as frankly I don't trust my Mum not to tell a) every Tom, Dick & Harry whose business it is definitely not and b) do so long before I'm 12 weeks (she has form on this kind of thing).

With friends I'm trying to weigh up whether to try & fool them (taking non-alco drinks to the BBQ etc and hoping they don't notice, or casually pouring real drinks away like you!) or just biting the bullet & telling them. In order to cover the most likely 'guessers' and feel fair in not telling one close friend before another, that would be 3 couples - 2 of whom have little ones themselves so have been through the same!

OP posts:

winchester1 · 09/09/2015 20:00

If they have babies you could just say you are ttc and taking it easy on the two week wait. That way you are at least a month ahead of what they know so can get your scan in peace and tell them when you are ready.

CarrotPuff · 09/09/2015 20:15

Pretending that you are drinking works best IME. Once people think you are drinking they won't notice that you are actually not.

Original poster

OctoberCupcake · 09/09/2015 20:30

Thanks Ladies; I think I'll just have to take each situation as it comes. Pretending to drink brings it's own difficulties; we live out in the sticks and I am definitely not getting taxis home sober! If I pretend to drink I'll have to 'hide' the car somewhere in walking distance

OP posts:

blondiejess1982 · 09/09/2015 21:58

Say you are on strong antibiotics (ear infection maybe?) so can't drink and go on about how disappointing it is !

Original poster

OctoberCupcake · 09/09/2015 22:07

That's not a bad idea!! :)

OP posts:

CarrotPuff · 09/09/2015 22:19

If you are genuinely driving then you don't even need an excuse.

"I'm on antibiotics" = "I'm pregnant"

blondiejess1982 · 09/09/2015 23:01

I have been on antibiotics before and been sober at a party and definitely not been pregnant !

newbian · 10/09/2015 01:18

No one believes antibiotics. When I was TTC I said I was cutting carbs/dieting. I did also pretend to sip from one glass of wine or bottle of beer.

contractor6 · 10/09/2015 06:38

There's a stoptober. No drinking in October for MacMillan cancer. Can use that for later excuses. I used it for January. Otherwise just drinking mixers and act tipsy. Congratulations btw

5hell · 10/09/2015 07:56

if you're seeing the same groups of people several times then using different fibs each time looks more suspicious in my opinion...how suspicious your friends will be will depend on whether they 'expect' you to get pg! I which case you might be better thinking up a bigger overall excuse like you're Dr advised cutting out drink (and a random other food stuff) as you've had some pain/symptoms/blah, or the loosing weight thing, or you've given up for september etc.

fake drinking can work well, esp if you get you dh on board to help :)

I'll be seeing family this weekend (@ 11w5d) and don't really want to spill the beans until after my scan, don't know what excuse to use!! Have used antibiotics excuse (for sinusitis) already

good luck!

madsaz76 · 10/09/2015 08:13

So. Sign up for one of the sober challenges I. E. Stay sober for October. Tell everyone you are starting early (health kick etc) and then show no guilt for sponsor money when pregnancy announced

Bin85 · 10/09/2015 08:16

There's a Dryathon for September.

BeaufortBelle · 10/09/2015 08:19

Just tell them you have stopped drinking to give your liver a rest. Not even a fib

ALongTimeComing · 10/09/2015 08:19

Can you just not go? Or could you use non-alco beers or ciders and just hide the label in your palm?

Original poster

OctoberCupcake · 10/09/2015 09:01

Thanks Ladies! My friends are maniacs; if I say I'm driving, they will continually suggest I leave the car at theirs, or get car back (a service that picks you up with your own car), or whatever. With non-alco drinks it would be fine if we were at our house, but at theirs everyone just loads everything into the fridge & it's a free for all situation; I couldn't 'hide' my non-alcos.

I could get away with it this Saturday at the BBQ. DH suggested that he not come at all, and I can tell them I have to pick him up later, so no question of me not driving. It's every weekend after that that's the trouble, and the 30th particularly! I know the girl will be confused/offended if I don't (in her eyes) join in the fun for her birthday - and I don't want to not go to that one. They'll be even more suspicious if I don't have a drink on MY birthday!

I think it's just going to be easier to tell them tbh. It's only a few people, and they're our closest friends. I think I've been other thinking it somewhat.

OP posts:

randomsabreuse · 10/09/2015 09:06

I was busted by a friend at NY at about 4 weeks, mostly because my boobs had grown without any extra weight gain. Add the not drinking while at home and it was obvious...

Also told my riding instructor early in case of accidents - well before any parents knew (admittedly coz we were planning to go skiing at about 11 weeks).

TBH I was obeying the dietary and drink things while trying if I wasn't definitely not so not too much change.

BeaufortBelle · 10/09/2015 09:13

Well, this is the start of a lifestyle change that will last far longer than pregnancy. You can't feed or care for a baby when drunk either. Perhaps you need to stop socialising so much with maniac types who live only to drink. Also, shouldn't you have been cutting down whilst ttc anyway?

Sorry don't mean to sound so square but you just can't drink yourself silky when you have small children either.

CarrotPuff · 10/09/2015 09:23

You can always say you have to be somewhere early the next day so can't leave the car.

Pretend drinking works, I've done it quite a few times, especially if it's a BBQ kind of party where you can poor it away/swap with DP/"forget" it somewhere, etc. Just stay away from over-enthusiastic pourers. After that you can always have a glass of water or whatever soft drink because you're feeling tipsy, your stomach doesn't feel right, etc. No one will bat an eyelid because they've already "seen" you drinking.

Hairballs · 10/09/2015 09:47

I was a piss head. People guessed. No biggie.

Doublebubblebubble · 10/09/2015 09:48

I'm on antibiotics is one that I've used in the past. Mind you I had hg pretty much from 6 weeks (every pregnancy) so i couldn't really hide it... Use that for now.

Original poster

OctoberCupcake · 10/09/2015 10:41

Erm, thanks for all your wild assumptions Beaufort but I don't really think it's got anything to do with you who my friends are? So I should just drop good friends of over 10 years standing because they're a couple of years behind us in life stages? WOW.

There's a distinct difference between 'cutting down' and 'abstaining completely' and for your information, not that I should need to explain myself, we actually haven't seen these people for over a month due to holidays etc, so it's not been an issue until now!

At what point did I suggest by the way that I was going to start necking bottles of wine the minute I'd given birth? I'm very well aware that it's a general life change, but thank you for checking.

OP posts:

mumofmunchkin · 10/09/2015 16:00

Another vote for fake drinking - get a glass of wine/bottle of beer, tip half into a sink or bush, and wander around nursing the half "drunk" drink. At a dinner party let someone fill your glass, and have a glass of water as well, and just take a couple of tiny sips from the wine glass - once everyone has had a drink or three they won't notice that yours isn't actually going down (you can always switch your full glass with your other half's mostly empty one as well).

Having said that, we always just told really close friends and family very early - if we'd want their support in the case of a m/c, we told them about the pregnancy.

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