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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

A cautionary tale of gender and pre arrival purchasing....

66 replies

NewBallsPlease00 · 02/09/2015 00:17

.... On my local fb sellers group has this afternoon appeared a whole load of gender specific brand new baby stuff, because the mother was told girl and a boy has arrived...
Sadly she has done the usual pre wash and can't return and won't use pink for a boy but thought I'd share in case anyone else was stock piling too high on specific shades...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NullaBore · 02/09/2015 19:57

I had blood test and scan confirm dc2 is dd2. I would be really upset if it was wrong!

We didn't find out with dd1 but l felt very strongly it was a girl. Although everything was neutral and kept for dc2 so no issues but I've bonded with my second daughter. And even refer to them as 'the girls'

EverydayAnya · 02/09/2015 20:10

I'm having a girl in 5 weeks (I hope!). I've bought neutrals, yellows, greens, bright colours and...gasp...girly pink shit. And I love those cute little pink babygros.

I do find it's only on mumsnet that people have such an aversion to dressing a girl in pink. So what if people do? Does it make them less feminist or something? It's so sneered on...oh god flowers and pink and girly shit. But 7 years down the line if anyone talks about their school aged son wearing a pink tutu they are somehow lauded for it

EverydayAnya · 02/09/2015 20:14

Oh and my favourite top this summer for DS has been a bright pink tee with green palm trees so I'm not averse to dressing a boy in pink

ArcheryAnnie · 02/09/2015 21:16

I do find it's only on mumsnet that people have such an aversion to dressing a girl in pink.

Oh, what rubbish, Everyday. I loved pink as a child - but when I was a child, it was optional. The objection isn't to dressing girls in pink if that's what they want, it's to pink being practically obligatory, pink being the natural order of things, pink being the default. That's what people object to.

Colours are neutral, but you'd never know it from this thread. If you like pink, nobody cares. If you are expected to like pink because you were born with a vagina and not a willy, that's what is objectionable.

AskBasil · 02/09/2015 21:40

"I do find it's only on mumsnet that people have such an aversion to dressing a girl in pink."

That may well be right.

Which only goes to show how automatic and normal gender policing is. And how early it starts.

Only on mumsnet for some people, is it even questioned, rather than automatically accepted.

And yet everyone thinks they treat girls and boys the same, when what is very obvious, is that we treat them differently from the moment they're born. We even think of them differently before they're born. And then we imagine that our gender norms haven't had any influence on their individual preferences and tastes.

Funny old world, eh.

pinkmanbitch · 03/09/2015 00:49

my sister is a midwife. she once cared for a woman who was having a girl after 2 boys- the dad was so pleased he had got 'Ellie' tattooed on the side of his neck. you can guess where this is going

Fugghetaboutit · 03/09/2015 07:13

^ oh god

modestmother · 03/09/2015 10:18

I'm having my first child and my scans reveal it's a girl. However after reading through your posts ladies, I think I'll paint the baby's room a neutral colour ! Cool cream coloured walls!!
Have a great day ladies x

WoodleyPixie · 03/09/2015 11:13

My first was born over 18yrs ago now and at the scans we were told he was a she. I knew though, just had a feeling. I would have liked a girl then and h was hoping for a girl (2 boys from his previous marriage) but he as happy enough when ds1 was born.
we went on to have ds2 and dd and scans right both times. Scanning has come on a lot in 18years and so its unusual to get it wrong. The sonographer would normally be non committal if they were unsure.

Flingmoo · 03/09/2015 17:14

We decorated our nursery with a blue nautical theme and had a mix of boyish and neutral baby clothes ready for DS's birth. If it turned out he was a girl it would have been a surprise but I wouldn't have been upset or inconvenienced. Why can't a girl have a blue nursery and wear blue clothes? I don't understand the problem.

The reason some of us hate overly girly pink frilly clothes on baby girls is because we don't want our kids to look like living stereotypes. Similarly, I steer clear of boys clothes that look dark and grungey and have slogans like "watch out, here comes trouble"...

happymummyone · 03/09/2015 19:48

I know what I'm having (had about 9 scans so far and each time the distinguishing features are clearer) but I've still bought only neutral clothing just in case! And because I'm hoping to follow this DC with DC3 and don't want to waste money on all new clothes again!

aimees75 · 03/09/2015 21:25

There's nothing wrong with a girl in blue clothes and a blue nursery. But can a boy have a pink nursery and pink clothes? It seems that it often doesn't work both ways. I have a friend who has a 3yo DS who's favourite colour is pink. It causes the father genuine embarrassment and he tries hard to dissuade his son when he says he wants pink this and pink that.

AskBasil · 04/09/2015 21:11

Lots of men are embarrassed when their sons don't reject pink as they're supposed to.

Yet most of them genuinely believe that they're in favour of equality and treat all their children the same, when it's patently not true.

The reason it's OK for girls to wear blue, for many people, is the subconscious belief that by wanting to be like boys, they're trading up, while boys are trading down. Many men feel horrified that their boy children identify with girls, the bro's before ho's mentality may not be as obvious as among gangs of rappers, but it's not far below the surface.

Heavenscent86 · 06/09/2015 17:38

I had a girl and she had some blue clothes. I thought she looked lovely but I must say I did get frustrated with having to explain to other people that my baby is a girl!!

Heavenscent86 · 06/09/2015 17:41

Funnily enough she still chooses blue clothes over pink most of the time.

AmyLouKin · 07/09/2015 09:08

My nephews fave colour was pink, for about a year and my sis and BIL didn't mind at all. I was surprised but rather liked it. His fave colour now (he's 4) is gungy green!
I'm not finding out my babies sex as its my first and I'm happy either way!
I personally hate pink, have for years, not very fond of blue either really, so will be avoiding both. Specially since baby clothes are such, pale, wishy washy colours. I also think White is a daft colour for babies. If they puke on it once, it's stained!
So basically I'm struggling to find nice bright colours, instead of pale ones. What I want is orange, green, red even brown. I think they look so much cuter! Next has a few things I like but they are not cheap. Most of my stuff will be hand me downs from my sister and charity shop buys. After all they only wear them for a few months before moving on to the next size!

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