Make me feel better about elcs...

[Skiptonlass]

Sodding placenta Previa has not moved so it looks like elcs time for Skip.

I really didn't want a cs.

Can anyone make me feel vaguely better about this? I know there are no medals for pushing them out and I know all the clinical reasoning why avoiding exsanguination is a Very Good Thing, but I'm still extremely upset about it. I hate the thought of being laid up recovering and incapable for weeks. This has been such a tough pregnancy with sickness and spd and now it's going to take me ages to get back to normality.

Apologies for the blatant self pity here. But please, tell me you all recovered beautifully and all that sort of thing. :(

I had an ELCS and it was bloody brilliant. Seriously, everyone should have them (joke! joke!)

Compared with recovering from my natural birth (which ended in a third degree tear) it was a walk in the park. Yes, I was in pain for the first few days, but it was well managed with paracetamol and ibuprofen (I didn't need anything stronger) and I stopped taking them entirely by day 6. I was so discharged from hospital after 24 hours.

I'm not having any more babies, but if I was, I would choose the same every single time. Natural labour/birth is overrated and hurts like fuck. I was SO relieved to not have to do it with baby #2

I'm having one too, my choices were induction or ELCS at 38 weeks. Early inductions often fail and end up with EMCS. I really don't want the stress and panic of EMCS. I want a nice calm stress free birth. I know when baby will be born, it's all planned for, I've had the pre op checks etc

I've never given birth but I know a few who have gone through labour only for something to go wrong and they end up with EMCS and have both to recover from.

I also know a couple of people who have had such bad tears that it's taken weeks to recover from.

I asked people who've had more than one birth type what I should do and they all said ELCS

You won't be laid up for weeks. One week max of being fairly incapable then it improves really quickly. Far quicker than a bad natural birth.

I walked 3 miles with a double buggy when dd2 was 4w old, does that cheer you up at all?

And it's great, everyone is all "oh no, you sit down, you had a section" so you actually get to establish feeding etc rather than people expecting you to be bouncing around 20mins after the placenta is delivered!

I know how you feel, complete disappointment. Its hard going, being laid up a few days, then no driving for 6 weeks, I cried when i found out in full view of the other ladies waiting to be seen!! I wish id asked to have the baby straight way, naked and googy ... rather than wisked off to be weighed and cleaned... i wanted to see all of her... i did watch in the lights, but wanted to really watch her come out. Think about those things because they dont ask you.

You are very unlikely to be laid up for weeks. I had emcs after failed induction and it was fine. I only needed paracetemol and ibuprofen and was off those on day 4 and i was walking around, lifting stuff etc as normal and several people i know said i seemed way better than them after a natural birth. If i have another dc i will most likely go for elcs. Hope it all goes well.

Thanks all...

... I'm not sure why I'm so upset. I did want to have a crack at doing it myself (everyone in my family gives birth in about 3 hours with a 'like shelling peas' attitude)

I also just hate the thought of being not in control of it, having him cut out of me and most of all, still being bloody incapable of fending for myself. I've had almost eight months of grim vomiting and now spd to a degree I can't walk more than a few hundred yards. I wanted to pop this baby out and get back on my feet as soon as humanly possible! Nothing about this pregnancy has been easy (and yes I know it could be much much worse and I'm bloody lucky to live in a country where I will survive this...)

Gah!

You will have more energy after, and can wear makeup and look fab in every single photo ( shallow I know but I looked like death in mine- I had 2 emergency cs after long labour)
My cs recovery ( in an ouch it hurts to move stsge) was about 4 hours after main pain relief wore off. The odd twinge for a few weeks but not painful. I was comfortably doing laundry and cooking within 50 hours of having her. By day 7 I was touring high schools with dd1 with dd2 in sling.

I was dead set on a vbac with dd2, but next time I'll def be far more open minded about Cs.

Think about your birth plan still - I insisted baby was lifted straight onto me, delayed cord clamping etc. do you want to have earphone in listening to calming music to keep you relaxed?

Could I get a mirror do you think, and watch?

Or will they think that's a bit peculiar?

I felt dreadful for weeks after an EMCS, but great the next day after my ELCS. I was off painkillers completely by day 2 which I wouldn't have believed possible after my EMCS. I was driving by 2 weeks and only because I couldn't get a GP appointment sooner.
I also bfed successfully both times with milk coming in on schedule etc, if that's a concern.

I would have an ELCS again, in fact I would fight for one. Horrendous stories on here about tears and incontinence, and the few hours I spent in labour were grim.

You can ask for no screen, so you can watch.

I had an EMCS last time and it was easy peasy and straight forward. The labour before that was the upsetting and agonising bit. I was up off the bed that evening and walking around the park a couple of days later. I'll be pushing for an ELCS this time. Just take it easy afterwards and let your partner do anything strenuous for you. It's a great chance to lie in bed and bond with your sleepy newborn/establish breastfeeding if that's what you choose.

2 ELCS and they were dead easy compared to the first vaginal delivery. No problem breastfeeding (unlike after vag birth which was like a circus). Was up and about within a day on the both and discharged myself on the second day after the second one. I froze dinners before both of them so I had nothing much to do afterwards other than mind babies, got my hair and nails done the day before.

Honestly they were great.

I had an emergency section due to placenta praevia and the recovery was fine. I actually moved house a few weeks later (although I wouldn't recommend that!) Any negatives about it were due to the emergency nature if that makes sense, and I hear electives are very calm, you can have skin to skin straight away etc.
One thing I didn't realise - the baby is out in minutes. Most of the operation is sewing you up again, at which point you'll be nicely distracted by your baby

Honestly, this kind of worry is, in my opinion, an area that the healthcare professionals have done women no favours in. A c section is frankly, a miracle, whether it's elective or emergency and SAVES lives. Without a doubt, elective is better too as the wound tends to be smaller and you're less exhausted from being in labour and/or having surgery in the middle of the night.

I had an emergency cs at 1am and the worst part about it was that it meant I didn't get any sleep as by the time the whole thing was over and I was upstairs I was still immobile etc. You will be amazed how quickly you recover.
Your biggest problem will be that lying on your back for that long may make your back pain worse for a while. I highly highly recommend a good chiro or osteo BEFORE delivery to try and manage the SPD a bit better ahead of time. My post section back pain was, I'd say, the worst thing about it because of my SPD.

I am so, so grateful I had an (EM)CS - I had no trouble recovering, I don't even have a scar , it is an urban myth that you can't drive (but check with your insurer). Honestly, when you read some of the horror stories about VB I can't understand why anyone would NOT want a CS. There is no reason at all why you shouldn't be absolutely fine - as soon as I was home (slight delay in hospital due to baby's health issues - not mine) I was up and about, cooking for guests, so grateful to no longer be pregnant, full of energy and I was well over 40 when I had my CS.

I hate the thought of being laid up recovering and incapable for weeks

If you had a VB there is no guarantee you wouldn't be recovering and incapable for weeks. With an ELCS there is no guarantee you will be end up laid up either.

Unless you have a crystal ball you can not predict what will happen so how can you get upset about it? You are buying into an ideological myth that has no grounding in reality.

Its a bit like getting upset about missing out on buying a lucky dip lottery ticket because you might have won something if only you had entered because equally you might not have too.

Its pointless wasted energy. You would be better off focusing on the fact that, isn't it a bloody good job the hospital have spotted the problem and saved you a very traumatic birth. Glass half full and all that.

You can't dwell on the 'if onlys' and what might have beens if only things had been different in life as life ends up passing you by. Focus on what you CAN do and simply enjoy those precious moments.

Have a chat with someone and see what they can do to make your ELCS more bareable and make you feel in control. Say its bothering you, as they will help or try and accommodate requests. There are things they will do; be it picking music, lowering the screen, skin to skin in theatre or something else.

As for the mirror - I was told that I could watch DS being born if I wanted as the lighting rig is very shiny and reflective like a mirror, but if it was something that might bother me, not to look! So no I don't think the request is a weird one really.

I had two sections and they were ACERS! . I went into labour but no progression so I did experience labour. I would choose section every time knowing what I know.

I've never had a section but with hindsight, if I had my time again I would request it. My first boy was born after a short sharp labour and had to be dragged out with forceps because he was facing the wrong way. I was cut to ribbons and ripped a bit more for good measure. It was nearly two years before the internal damage healed. OK, the second one was a one-hour textbook labour and uneventful delivery but I wouldn't put myself through even the risk of that first one again.
And I wouldn't breastfeed again either.

My mother had 2 VBs and 1 ELCS. She raved about the ELCS and how it was a most civilised way to give birth

Look, I say this as someone who had 2 VBs: it does not fucking matter how they come out, as long as they do.

I had an EMCS. I was very scared before, but in hindsight I am bloody grateful! It meant that I established feeding as my husband was running around changing, cleaning etc while I sat there having DS brought to me and feeding him/holding him. By 2 weeks I walked 1 mile into town pushing DC, went for a party with colleagues for a couple of hours then walked back home. The recovery was such that every day I felt significantly better than the previous day, so I actually felt like I was achieving so much, rather than a slow dribbly recovery. And where I am (not UK) I was told I can drive as soon as I felt up for it. I was driving in around 1 week (and didn't drive earlier as had nowhere to go :D).

I had 25 hour labour with failure to progress then a baby in serious distress and they jogged me down to theatre to whip my baby out. So EMCS that time. Dh barely made it into the room before they were cutting me open.

Ds2 I chose ELCS, could plan when it was happening, have food in all prepared, arranged help etc. Recovery was good.

There is no guarantee that a vaginal delivery wouldn't leave you laid up for weeks.

Just accept it that it is what it is. I know how you feel, Ds1 was breech until 34 weeks then turned. So up until that point it was a c section. Then it was vaginal then in the end a c section.

It is a means to an end.

My ELCS with DS2 was absolutely wonderful. Unlike with DS1 I had a decent nights sleep the night before, he took 15 minutes to arrive, the whole thing was so civilised and easy. I was driving within a fortnight, and doing normal stuff around the house other than major lifting within a couple of days. Recovery was much quicker than with the VB I had with DS1. Scar absolutely minimal and within a short time was barely visible.

I have no intention of having any more DC but if I did, it would be ELCS all the way.

I had an emergency c section 13 days ago and have felt fine for over a week now. The recovery for me was really quick. Also agree with the previous poster who said it's great cause everyone fuses over you since you've had major surgery. So just sit around and be bought cups of tea, cuddling your baby.

That said, I totally sympathise with the disappointment feelings. I felt a bit sad not to be able to do naturally despite the rational part of my brain knowing the surgery saved our lives and that we are incredibly lucky to live in a country that can do surgery as and when is needed. My brain gets that. But my feelings about it needed a bit if time to catch up. But honestly, once you hold your baby it won't matter.

I also had 8 months of pregnancy sickness and was very sick in labour so just think, the ELCS is probably saving you from more puking ????

I am sorry that you will not be able to have the birth you originally wanted. In reality though there is very very little to recommend the birth you wanted above the implied normality of it, and the fact that you wanted it.

Having a planned C-section means less stress, less chance of nasty surprises, no tearing or cutting of the vagina, far lower probability of incontinence or prolapse, a far lower rate of PTSD caused by uncontrolled pain during labour followed by painful and often violent interventions.

If I could go back and do it again I would 100% have a planned C-section. I would have recovered faster, would likely not have lost years of my life to depression, would not still be shitting blood 4 years down the line.

Honestly, in the future all births will be planned C-section because the human cost of the alternative is too high.

I had an EMCS. Best thing ever! Only had 5 hours of contractions, got to hospital, DS was breech, so had EMCS instead. Was given the chance to have vaginal birth instead, no way, hindsight best thing ever as he was 8lbs.

Entire procedure took 1 hour from deciding to have CS to being wheeled into recovery. Healed very quickly, no pain, DS was fine.