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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How old is too old?

34 replies

MusicMum18 · 21/08/2015 19:44

I have a 4.5 month through ivf. I loved being pregnancy and now love being a mum! I am 37 and would love another but I'm not sure if I am too old?

I have just felt old after giving birth and am wondering if I could do it all again, having a newborn plus a toddler!

I'm just worried about the hormones to prepare for ivf plus pregnancy, giving birth then the umpteen sleepless nights would wreck my body and health due to my age?

Friends have told me too enjoy my current baby first which I am doing but if I do have another it'd surely be better to try sooner, I'm thinking to give myself a year to recover before trying again?

What do people think is too old? Is there a too old? Are there any older mums out there? Is it possible to cope?!!!!

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mummyneedinganswers · 21/08/2015 20:36

I'm very young ND pregnant but you certainly aren't too old in my opinion for another many mums do it there's a thread on here 40+ and pregnant and I think I've heard the oldest on here is 48 might be wrong tho. You probably feel older now as you are tired with baby etc, I can't advise about having a toddler and being pregnant/newborn but I certainly don't deem you as too old x

rallytog1 · 21/08/2015 20:41

I know plenty of people in their 40s who've had babies, with no regrets.

GoooRooo · 21/08/2015 20:47

Congratulations on the successful IVF and baby!

I had my first baby at 37 after five years of infertility (I was about to start IVF and fell pregnant naturally).

We started trying for another one straight away. 18 months later I fell pregnant again but miscarried at 10 weeks. 8 months after that I fell pregnant again and am now expecting DC2 just after my 41st birthday. It will be my last baby though - this pregnancy has been very tiring.

My advice, for what it's worth, is if you want another one don't put it off.

BeautifulBatman · 21/08/2015 20:49

A friend of my has two ds, both ivf, 2 years apart, born at 40 & 42.

Original poster

MusicMum18 · 21/08/2015 21:07

Thanks for your replies, I'll have a look at the 40+ pregnant thread. I suppose times have changed since the olden days where most women had babies younger. And yes, I'm probably not looking at it with a clear head because I am so tired still!! :). It's just so hard to decide because it's been such a struggle to get pregnant and it's such a lot to go through all the ups and downs emotionally and physically! Congratulations goo roo on your 2nd pregnancy, exciting news. I suppose it's bound to be more tiring than getting pregnant at a younger age, but then I suppose if you keep fit, eat right etc then it's do able! I suppose health anyway depends on genes and lifestyle regardless of if you have babies or not!

Thanks for your advice everyone! Xxx

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Original poster

MusicMum18 · 21/08/2015 21:09

The consultant I had when I was pregnant when she looked at my file, when she saw I was 37....first words were "well you're no spring chicken are you?" This has stuck in my head too which is why I've been questioning ages of getting pregnant etc. Wish she hadn't said that! Xxx

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GoooRooo · 21/08/2015 21:13

Bollocks to that consultant. I have a high BMI as well as being ancient. All the way through my first pregnancy I was told I'd get gestational diabetes, would have difficulty delivering and probably would end up with a c section, woud get high blood pressure etc etc etc

None of that happened. Straight forward pregnancy. Vaginal birth.

This time the only concern with being over 40 seems to be that they don't want to let me go beyond my due date because there's an increased risk of still birth (from tiny, to a little bit more than tiny) but given I'm 35 weeks pregnant and had enough now I'm quite happy to let them evict the baby at 40 weeks!

Do check out the 40+ pregnancy thread - there's loads of us on there. There's also a 40+ TTC thread on the conception board.

imip · 21/08/2015 21:14

Hmmm- you know I had a baby at 35, 37, 38 and 40. I was never told I was too 'old', and was always reassured there r were much older mothers out there and I was pretty common (I knew that anyway!).

Obviously I wouldn't think you are old, but if you want another baby and chose not to based on your age, I think you'd definitely regret that in the long run iyswim.

Diamondsmiles · 21/08/2015 21:16

I had my first at 37. Loads of my friends have had babies older than that. Go for it!

Flottila · 21/08/2015 21:17

I had my first baby at 42 and I'm now 44 and 17wks pregnant. I hope to squeeze another one out when I'm 46 or 47.

For various reasons my life truly only began at 40 and children had always been a dream of mine. I consider myself utterly blessed to be fertile in my forties and I suggest if the opportunity comes your way and you are still yearning for another baby then you let nature take its course

Jelliebabe1 · 21/08/2015 21:17

How rude of your consultant musicmum! Surely they've seen older! I'm 40 (41 in a couple of weeks) and on my first pregnancy (twins ) And on one of the boards I'm on the moderator is 50 with a newborn.

However I think it's down to you really and how you feel!

Flottila · 21/08/2015 21:19

...or science.

Flottila · 21/08/2015 21:20

Jelliebabe, I know you! Yours and Bundle's babies are donor egg ivf yes? Absolutely marvellous!

Leeza2 · 21/08/2015 21:21

Ahem ...in the " olden days " women had their first baby younger. They often had their last baby in their 40s .

Notguru · 21/08/2015 21:25

I had 4dc at 45. I joked with consultants that I was old. Only to be told I wasn't these days.

Original poster

MusicMum18 · 21/08/2015 21:29

Thanks everyone, yes the consultant was rude! I couldn't believe it when she said it! My pregnancy was ok but I had gest diabetes, and thyroid problems, although these were resolved. If I had another id cut out all sugar from the start, although to be honest I didn't have much sugar anyway, just a bowel of porridge would send my levels sky high! I also had a 7cm fibroid. It felt like every time I had a scan they had to say something to worry me! As it turned out I was lucky enough to have a natural birth which is what I hoped for, with an episiotomy. That was a nightmare in the first couple of weeks and made me so stressed and in pain.

Does anyone know if I'd be likely to have another episiotomy if I were to have a 2nd baby?

It's great to know there are other mums out there in their 40s, All my friends have children already who are 10 etc so I don't know anyone my age in my position!! I'll check out that thread.

Babies are such a miracle, and I do think id regret not having another if it's possible for me. As for coping, well, you just get on with it I suppose!! Xxx

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Original poster

MusicMum18 · 21/08/2015 21:31

Good point leeza, about the last baby in 40s x

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HeteronormativeHaybales · 21/08/2015 21:34

I had an episiotomy first time, second degree tear (but no ep) second. Both ventouse births though so I would guess it's definitely not a given if you don't have an instrumental birth :)

(Am 38 and nearly 36 weeks with no. 3, btw)

Brummiegirl15 · 22/08/2015 07:49

I'm 17 wks at 38 with my first and will be 39 by the time little one arrives. So no, definitely not too old!

Pessimoptimistic · 22/08/2015 08:12

I'm 42 and 30 weeks pregnant with my second. I had my first at 37. I don't think I am too old.

TinyMonkey · 22/08/2015 09:25

Had my first at 40 last year, and am intending to start trying again at the end of this year. My mum had me at 39, my sil had my nephew at 42, and when I referred to being 'old' to my midwives & the consultant they told me I was nothing of the sort. Nobody in my nct group was under 35.

In an ideal world I would have the luxury of waiting slightly longer between children, and pregnancy definitely took it's toll physically, but it's fine. I think I'm a much better mother now than I would've been at 25!

Skiptonlass · 22/08/2015 12:08

I'm mid/late thirties and pregnant with my first. Where I live that seems to be the average demographic I bump into at the midwife - I've not seen anyone there yet who looks significantly younger than me!

It took me until my mid thirties to get educated, travel, work abroad, get a career going and find a man I considered worthy of mingling my genome with... I'd have been resentful of having kids earlier, if I'm brutally honest (just my personal perspective, there are lots of advantages to having them young too, but we are all different...)

technically, you're too old when you hit menopause ;) but of course you have no idea how your individual fertility is. 37 is still absolutely fine in my eyes, but don't leave it much longer to get trying - fertility does decline a bit after 35, but it's not a sharp drop off. Eat healthily and get your fitness up a bit and you'll be fine.

Bloody rude consultant! Seriously, what a thing to say...

Sunbeam18 · 22/08/2015 12:50

I had my first/only at age 40, almost 41. No problems at all, and natural delivery. He is now 2. I feel too old to have another, but 40 was def not too old for me. My midwife didn't bat an eyelid at my age and said she considered 45 to be an older mother. The GP when I first went to be referred to midwifery when I was first pregnant was negative and seemed to assume that the pregnancy would not be successful due to my age - unacceptable! He was an elderly guy... Go for it!

nectarini1983 · 22/08/2015 13:47

Go for it I say....none of us get any younger sitting on the fence!

Blackandwhitecat3 · 22/08/2015 19:09

I'm 39 and pg with my first. Totally plan at this stage to have another if I can.

I don't know why you had IVF and I don't want to make any presumptions, but so long at you don't have e.g. 100% blocked tubes, you might get pregnant naturally the second time.

My GP said I'm "normal" age to be pg in the area I live in.

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