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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

doing the deed after baby is born

32 replies

MissSMartin · 19/08/2015 10:26

how long after your babies were born did you feel ready to dtd again?

I know everyone is different but I'm just looking for people's experiences..

If I'm lucky enough to I would really like to have my next baby quite soon after my first (not due till Jan)
Thank you!! Grin

OP posts:
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INeedGinPlease · 19/08/2015 10:35

9 weeks but very very gently and was not very comfortable until 4/5 months had passed.

Your cycles will take a whole to return and settle down, especially if you are breastfeeding.

I know some people who fell pg when their first doc was 7 months and have loved the close gap.

FernsNotAHappyGully · 19/08/2015 10:42

I bled for 9 weeks with my first. Then had a period.

It was very tentative to begin with, I had an episiotomy and ventouse. But, it obviusly didn't take long to get back into the erm swing of things because I fell pregnant again on only the third or fourth go!

Daughter was born a year and a week exactly after my first!

Perpendiculous · 19/08/2015 10:43

Dd is nearly 13 months and we've only recently started to have sex again. It still is a bit painful but nothing like when we tried 4/5 months after the birth. We tried on about 3 different occasions and had to stop as it hurt me too much. Now it's much better but still can leave me a bit sore.

Before about 4 months, I was still bleeding and in too much pain to consider it. I had a ventous birth and I tore and had an episiotomy, so that didn't help. Plus I think sleepless nights and hormones from breastfeeding don't really put you in the mood. Although I'm still breastfeeding now and that doesn't seem to be affecting my libido anymore.

So long story, short, it was about a year before I really felt up to it! On the other hand, I've read about people who start again a few weeks after the birth (though I can't understand how it doesn't hurt them!).

Everyone is different so who knows how it could be for you.

fanjodisfunction · 19/08/2015 10:43

six weeks with first but her birth was very easy.

nearly a year with DS as I had to have stitches and it just seemed to be uncomfortable for so long.

SweetSorrow · 19/08/2015 10:54

5 weeks both times, had tears and stiches both times but nothing major and we just took it slow.

Doublebubblebubble · 19/08/2015 10:59

I waited until I had proper contraception had my mirena coil put in at around 6 weeks after DDS birth. Didn't want to fall pregnant straight away.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 19/08/2015 11:02

4 weeks with my first, second degree tear/ventouse delivery.
Currently at 6 weeks post birth with second, no tearing, easy birth and not even contemplating it yet! That's due to the exhaustion of having 2 under 2 though...

annatha · 19/08/2015 11:09

It was a week after the birth for us Blush I did have a great birth though, and it helped me to feel more like "me" again after going through childbirth. It all depends on how the birth went and when you feel ready. I bf for 12 weeks and fell pregnant on my first cycle after that, so my babies will have 12 months between them and so far everyone I've spoken to with a small age gap have said that although its hard work, it's easier looking after two babies than a baby and a raging toddler as you are still in baby mode too.

CarrotPuff · 19/08/2015 11:33

annatha a week? Shock weren't you still bleeding?

About 3 months after DS was born, I just didn't feel up for it earlier. Even then it was very sore for good few months afterwards, although I had straightforward labour and didn't tear. So everyone's different.

If you are planning to breastfeed bear in mind that bfing alone is quite good contraceptive - my periods didn't come back until DS was 8mo, and even then it took a few cycles to settle.

Junosmum · 19/08/2015 21:20

Watching with interest, I'm pregnant with my first and we've had sex a whole 2 times since I conceived. I really want to get my mojo back!

Lonecatwithkitten · 19/08/2015 21:26

There is 13 months in age between my sister and myself. I am the eldest I was breech delivered with forceps and an episiotomy after a 36 hour labour.
My DD was a lateral oblique presentation delivered with forceps and an episiotomy after a 36 hour labour. There was no way I was having another one ever.
Similar births totally different feelings about sex and having another - you just don't know how you will feel.

BigGreenOlives · 19/08/2015 21:32

The ante-natal classes I attended 18 years ago suggested you have sex using a condom for lubrication & contraception before you went for your 6 week check up as then you'd know if you had been sewn up badly or if there were any problems.

My next door neighbour's DIL was pregnant at her 6 week check up & had two children incredibly close together. She didn't BF at all & her MIL had looked after the first baby the night after it was born so the DIL could rest properly.

Chattymummyhere · 19/08/2015 21:36

2 weeks after first born

3 days after my second

Everyone's different and we all heal different. My first I got an infection my second I was back to normal by day 3. Checked with the mw that I was good to go if I wanted too.

LittleWoofDoesntDog · 19/08/2015 21:42

2 weeks after my first. I had an exceptionally easy birth with no tears and sex didn't hurt at all, thank goodness! I was so horny! All those hormones rushing around I think. Sex was better then than it is now Hmm

MrsBalustradeLanyard · 19/08/2015 21:44

About 5/6 days with first.

A long time with second. That's what second babies do to your sex life. Wink

BifsWif · 19/08/2015 21:49

2 weeks with my first, about a week with our second Blush. Birth was traumatic but I was 'ok' after she was actually here, bleeding had stopped although it did start up again a few days afterwards.

Junosmum · 19/08/2015 21:57

Those who did it a few days/ weeks after birth, did you have good sex lives during pregnancy?

GallivantingCat · 19/08/2015 22:01

Almost five weeks afterwards. Was a bit uncomfortable the first time, but ok after that. We are also trying for another baby so not using contraception but periods haven't begun yet at 12 weeks and I am not pregnant already.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 19/08/2015 22:03

Our sex life was better than normal during pregnancy, I think it's the hormones! We last had sex the day before DD was born. She's 6 weeks tomorrow and really can't even bear the idea of it at the moment!

BifsWif · 19/08/2015 22:11

Juno yes we did. More so with my first pregnancy, but we were still DTD up until about 35 weeks with our second.

Twinkie1 · 19/08/2015 22:14

Can't remember but I do remember it hurt much more after a section than a vaginal birth'. No idea why.

ICanSeeForMiles · 19/08/2015 22:19

A week after dc1 and maybe a week and a half after dc 2 Blush

Both c-sections, one emergency, one planned, and both very light bleeding.
But I do accept that my periods only last maybe 2 days, so that might have something to do with it.

Christelle2207 · 19/08/2015 22:24

About 2 months after my first.
Currently 3 months after my second and no sign of any action...we're both exhausted and mostly sleeping in separate rooms Hmm

Chattymummyhere · 20/08/2015 13:53

We had a very active sex life while pregnant. Both times we had, had sex the night before I gave birth.

jmac88 · 20/08/2015 15:59

I know this is a very personal question, but for those of you who have had vaginal births, what does it actually do to you down there? Does it make a huge difference?