23 weeks, in hospital, Just need a hand to hold

[UpNorth74]

I'm in a little bit of shock ... Just need to get this out of my head ...

I'm 23 weeks today, and at work this morning found a little blood in my knickers. Having suffered a previous miscarriage before Christmas at 8 weeks, I didn't hesitate to call the midwife. She seemed calm and suggested to head to the hospital to get it checked out.
Initial verbal assessment suggested nothing serious but they wanted to examine me to be sure. 2 hours later a Dr came, examined me and told me she was shocked to discover that my waters had broken and said she could see the baby's head through my 1-2cm dilated cervix.
I was given a scan instantly, where a consultant slightly disagreed with the Dr, and said I'd had a show but my waters were still on tact, just.
He said blood tests pending they could stitch up my cervix (with a 1 in 7 chance of waters breaking during procedure).
Unfortunately, blood test showed slight infection so they're re- testing tomorrow.
In the mean time I had a fairly big bleed which ANOTHER Dr said was a ruptured placenta, and is be carefully monitored.
So I'm on hospital bed rest. I had a visit from the Special Care unit to explain to me what choices a have if I go into labour. They said 23 weeks is their borderline - if this happened yesterday they'd be having a very different conversation with me.
Basically - they asked if I'd like them to do everything they can if I go into labour, or if I'd like to cherish the time I have with my son or daughter after delivery. My gut instinct is to fight - but ultimately let baby choose. Special Care said if there is a strong heart and they can help baby breathe, then they'll do all they can with our consent. If baby is weak, we'll be given space to spend what precious time we may have.
Then they talked about disability. If I give birth this week, there us a 30% survival rate, and a 1 in 10 chance of a healthy baby. And a 9 in 10 chance of cerebral palsy and / or bowl trouble.
Ideal scenario, is that this little baby stays put, even for another few weeks, at least!
My head is swimming. Overall I'm feeling very positive that me and my partner will do everything within our power for this baby. But, baby knows best - and we'll be with them whatever they choose.

Sorry for rambling post - I'm in hospital and can't sleep.
If you have any Positive vibes going on - please hurl them my way :)

Congratulations OP. I have two 23 weekers fast asleep next door, noisy as anything. PM me if you'd like. It's a long old slog, but keep going one day at a time

How do I see the picture please? I can't work out how.
Thank you xx

I've just read your two updates and cried my eyes out, I'm so happy for you all, he's absolutely gorgeous. You're all in my thoughts and prayers, wishing you all the very best xx????xx

Lovely pic and double tears here as recognise the heart fabric on the cocoon x

Hope things are going well for you, UpNorth and TinyUpNorth. Thinking of you lots. Try to remember to rest and look after yourself as much as you can.

Let us know how you're all getting on. You have masses of support here. xxx

Ah lovely photo. Glad he's doing well.

Hope things continuing to progress well x

My fried had a 23weekee baby
She's just celebrated 1 year old after an extremely difficult year
Lots of ops medical appts oxygen
But
She's now doing very well and future prognosis is positive
I wish you all the best
X

Hope all is well OP. Congratulations on your lovely baby, and I hope he is going from strength to strength.

Hope you and baby up north are doing well xx

NowFourSpuds - that is SO good to read! Are they twins? I've been chatting to a couple of mums of 23/24 seekers at SCBU, it's so lovely to know that this is a road well travelled by others.

Our little fella is trucking along! He had a great couple of weeks, just going steady. This week has been a little bumpy for us all - he's fighting an infection and keeps dislodging his breathing tube. He's put on a little weight and done a little breathing on his own. And best of all - he opened his eyes! His big beautiful blue eyes! We've had some lovely skin to skin cuddles too, but most days his rest is so important.

As for me - as any new mum will understand .... I'm exhausted! I'm expressing, up to 8 times a day around travelling to / from hospital, doing little fellas cares (nappy change, washing, etc), sleeping (ha!) and eating. I don't know where the days go ... But boy do they feel long! Both me and my partner have moments where we can't comprehend what has happened and how long he's going to be in hospital, but we're coping - we have to!

Thank you all again for your support. I've told him he has admirers far and wide!

Wow - he sounds like he's doing amazingly well for his gestation! That's really great, and thank you so much for the update, UpNorth.

So sorry to hear that you're exhausted. We were in NICU/SCBU for just under two months (29 weeker) and I really feel your pain. The expressing in particular I found a killer, but it's great that you're doing it so often - it really does pay off! I think other people often imagine that having a baby in NICU involves lots of sitting around gazing into their eyes, and then getting a good night's sleep at home, but the reality is much much busier and much more stressful than that. Make sure you take good care of yourself, as it really is a marathon rather than a sprint.

I hope he manages to fight off the infection. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for further good progress!

Yes they are, they're nearly three now. I'm so glad your update is positive, especially now he has opened his eyes, that's a special moment!
It is utterly exhausting, but soon your routine will just be 'normal'. Make sure you take good care of yourself too, I remember being sent home by a nurse as I was so exhausted- it was exactly what I needed. I was no good to the twins if I was poorly.
Our first four weeks were very up and down, but then they seemed to settle & just needed to grow & stay away from infection. Try not to look too far ahead as it seems endless, just take it day by day

Aw such a lovely sweet story and gorgeous pic!! Although not nearly as early as you, I've had two premmies and spent a good few months in hospital so can totally relate to those long, exhausting and stressful days, expressing away... In fact just thinking about it, and when we go back the noises of the heart monitors and the entrance buzzer, and hospital sanitiser smells make me feel stressed remembering it all. But they are two happy, healthy little boys at the end of it all. Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel xx

Up north - I envy you and keep up the good spirt. Hope you and you're partner are keeping ok - stay strong . Looking forward to more pictures of the little bubba . Much love from mums net xx

Hello UpNorth and BabyUpNorth. Thank you for the update - have been thinking of you lots! Putting on weight and doing a little bit of breathing on his own sounds brilliant, my little fellow was a lot older before he started doing either. He was a 24 weeker ten years ago (at that time that was the gestational cut-off), and he is currently crashing round the house, enjoying the summer holidays and watching Scooby Doo.

Infections are a pretty much guaranteed part of the journey unfortunately. But opening his eyes for the first time must have been such a special moment, and the cuddles must be too. I remember it well.

Dreams can come true. It sounds like things are hopefully heading in the right direction. Have some to help you with the expressing!

Hope you both have a good day today.

Xxx

Glad to hear the little man is doing well, being stressed is exhausting aswell as all the to-ing and fro-ing, as a mum I think you eventually get used to a level of knackered you didn't know you could! Try and take care of yourself too, it sounds like you're doing a great job and are being a brilliant mum :-) thanks for the update, love and hugs xx

How are you all doing?

Hi @UpNorth74 I'm in the same boat as you were 8 years ago, how is your baby now?