I'm in a little bit of shock ... Just need to get this out of my head ...
I'm 23 weeks today, and at work this morning found a little blood in my knickers. Having suffered a previous miscarriage before Christmas at 8 weeks, I didn't hesitate to call the midwife. She seemed calm and suggested to head to the hospital to get it checked out.
Initial verbal assessment suggested nothing serious but they wanted to examine me to be sure. 2 hours later a Dr came, examined me and told me she was shocked to discover that my waters had broken and said she could see the baby's head through my 1-2cm dilated cervix.
I was given a scan instantly, where a consultant slightly disagreed with the Dr, and said I'd had a show but my waters were still on tact, just.
He said blood tests pending they could stitch up my cervix (with a 1 in 7 chance of waters breaking during procedure).
Unfortunately, blood test showed slight infection so they're re- testing tomorrow.
In the mean time I had a fairly big bleed which ANOTHER Dr said was a ruptured placenta, and is be carefully monitored.
So I'm on hospital bed rest. I had a visit from the Special Care unit to explain to me what choices a have if I go into labour. They said 23 weeks is their borderline - if this happened yesterday they'd be having a very different conversation with me.
Basically - they asked if I'd like them to do everything they can if I go into labour, or if I'd like to cherish the time I have with my son or daughter after delivery. My gut instinct is to fight - but ultimately let baby choose. Special Care said if there is a strong heart and they can help baby breathe, then they'll do all they can with our consent. If baby is weak, we'll be given space to spend what precious time we may have.
Then they talked about disability. If I give birth this week, there us a 30% survival rate, and a 1 in 10 chance of a healthy baby. And a 9 in 10 chance of cerebral palsy and / or bowl trouble.
Ideal scenario, is that this little baby stays put, even for another few weeks, at least!
My head is swimming. Overall I'm feeling very positive that me and my partner will do everything within our power for this baby. But, baby knows best - and we'll be with them whatever they choose.
Sorry for rambling post - I'm in hospital and can't sleep.
If you have any Positive vibes going on - please hurl them my way :)