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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Morning sickness rows - feel so low

53 replies

LoveLetters · 04/07/2015 19:58

After 4 weeks of awful morning sickness my Dp has said he is fed up of doing everything, and I need to fight this and get over it. That he would be fighting and not letting it defeat him. How the hell are you supposed to fight severe morning sickness. He says other women have it and battle on.. Why am I so pathetic? Bearing in mind I was admitted to hospital with a suspected blood clot in my lung but turns out I've severely pulled muscle in my chest from all the throwing up I'm doing. I usually shout back but I'm so Unwell I can't even do that. I'm just sat here crying. Am I really that pathetic? I'm on the verge of 11 weeks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 04/07/2015 20:30

Are you married? Do you have any savings?

HumphreyCobbler · 04/07/2015 20:31

He needs to battle through his childish inability to step up to the mark in looking after his ill wife. How DARE he? I am fuming on your behalf op, especially as this is a baby he persuaded you to have.

LibrariesGaveUsPower · 04/07/2015 20:34

Just seen your other thread. If you want to leave there are ways. It will be tough at first. But in 12 months you can look back and be proud of your achievements. You can show your children what good relationships look like _ not model poor ones.

It sounds like this incident is the tip of the iceberg.

Original poster

LoveLetters · 04/07/2015 20:34

We aren't married, house bought is all in his name....conviently. I literally have nothing.
The more you guys are talking the more I am certain this isn't right. It's all about him. When I say you are going through what I am, he started shouting saying how dare I... He having to watch me be ill and its inbearable for him. Unbelievable.

OP posts:

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 04/07/2015 20:44

Oh Jesus
Did you invest in the house? Can you access any money? You will need about £2k minimum to rent a house plus money to furnish it. Then you can apply for benefits and maintenance. You may need a guarantor - any family who can do it? You could ask the P but it may be better to keep him out of it.

WanderWomble · 04/07/2015 20:53

Talk to your local council. I'm sure they have a duty of care/have to provide you with accommodation if you're made homeless.

Blackandwhitecat3 · 04/07/2015 22:44

Loveletters I think that if you try to calmly explain to him that you are really struggling with ms, that it is like having your worst hangover, permanently, and that you really need his support, if he doesn't see it then yes, I am worried for you and I think the best thing is for you to leave, even temporarily. Is there somewhere you can go, family, friends?

He sounds extremely controlling.

geekymommy · 04/07/2015 23:27

Other women manage to get through it because not every woman gets nausea to the same degree. Some don't get it at all. And there's not much you can do about it if you're one of the ones who does get a lot of nausea.

Of course, one way that other women get through morning sickness is through having a supportive partner who is willing to help them when they feel bad. You don't have that.

resipsa · 05/07/2015 00:05

So true that others don't just get on with it...I didn't. In hospital at 8 weeks and bawling every night by 11 weeks. Thought it'd never end and had no idea how I was going to get to week 40. My DH told me it was mostly in my head as I took ondansetran to the max dose (and I forgave him only because he had to pull it all together whist on chemo for cancer diagnosed last year and medication for a chemo-related DVT). Now on week 36 and still get sick/nauseous but the end is in sight. You can do it too but have my sympathy cause it's largely a silent agony.

resipsa · 05/07/2015 00:08

Oh God, just read the rest. You need more than sympathy.

Hodds89 · 05/07/2015 00:49

Your DP sounds just delightful!!! You are not pathetic, its such a hard time! Some women get worse than others! My boss had the same views but when i went in after my 12 week scan and told him im expecting twins, that wiped off his sarcastic views!!! But your DP should be helping you out as much as pos!!! Your doing great xx

Original poster

LoveLetters · 05/07/2015 16:56

I've done something awful. He started having a go at again saying I need to get a grip of myself and cooking spaghetti bolognese for the kids is hardly cooking. I could just about do that I feel so sick. He then started shouting at me to get stuff out of the garden because it was about to rain, I replied for him to shut up as I'd literally starting being sick. I went into kitchen and told him I was sick of the way he spoke to me, he told me I needed to get a grip of my health and I flipped. I pushed in back in frustration and then he pushed me, so I pushed him and he pushed me just as our 4 year old walked in. I've just left the house and gone to my friends before I do something worse. I feel like shit I know there's no going back now. It's over but why does he make me feel like I'm the bad one.

OP posts:

Blackandwhitecat3 · 05/07/2015 17:29

loveletters..

he has no right to tell you to "get a grip"
you are absolutely right to leave
it's normal for a controlling sh*t to make others feel like that.

Please don't go back. Do get help from local organisations as well as your friends. Womensaid?

weelamb123 · 05/07/2015 17:30

Oh god, he actually pushed u back and ur pregnant! Please dont go bak he is a fucking horrible human being. Do u have dc with you? He should be the one leaving not u. Xxx

Blackandwhitecat3 · 05/07/2015 17:34

I don't know if any of this will be helpful, but just in case...

Have a look at this diagram and see how much you recognise.

Useful website and links

Appleblossom82 · 05/07/2015 18:17

This reply has been deleted

This poster has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to remove this now.

Original poster

LoveLetters · 05/07/2015 18:22

I've come back to the house. Once kids are in bed it's time to talk about living arrangements. Tried to talk to him and he said he doesn't feel he is being horrible, that his communication is just a bit aggressive. When I told him there isn't a woman in this land , unless they're a doormat that would put up with this he just looks blankly at me. Pretty much talking to a brick wall. No point in trying to get him to understand where he has gone wrong.... Time to talk about living arrangements.

OP posts:

Appleblossom82 · 05/07/2015 18:28

This reply has been deleted

This poster has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to remove this now.

Blackandwhitecat3 · 05/07/2015 18:32

Please Loveletter get the children and leave xxxxx

AlpacaMyBags · 05/07/2015 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

LoveLetters · 05/07/2015 19:40

I've apologised for pushing him because that was wrong. He is now saying I need to take the medication to stop my from being a ill tempered, hormonal, and emotional psycho. When I said I had owned up to my own failings and now he should... He walked out of the door

OP posts:

ShimmeringCobalt · 05/07/2015 19:48

He's not a man, he's a nasty, pathetic, shriking thing.

You don't tell someone to pull themselves together with HG.

I don't think the future looks bright.

Appleblossom82 · 05/07/2015 19:49

This reply has been deleted

This poster has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to remove this now.

SweetAndFullOfGrace · 05/07/2015 19:56

Eh?

You've been ill for a few weeks. He's had to do some extra stuff around the house. This rather minor requirement for him to do something he doesn't normally do has caused him to "rant" at you frequently and get so cross he punched something.

And you're apologising to him???? That makes no sense.

He's the one with the problem. Your HG is not the massive imposition that he would have you believe. It's just an unfortunate side effect of pregnancy and he needs to get over himself and start being less of a twat and more supportive of you.

HermioneWeasley · 05/07/2015 19:58

He's an abusive bully.

You don't have to keep the baby, you know.

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