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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Was my midwife trying to be encouraging or not?

30 replies

Dawnybabe · 16/11/2006 18:36

My little'un is due a week before Christmas. I mentioned to the midwife today how I'm hoping she'll be on time or even early cos it would be nice to have her for Christmas, and the bloody woman just laughed and said 'I doubt it! Most first babies are late so we'll probably see you after Christmas' or words to that effect. WTF??? Is she trying to be honest and prepare me or was that a bit insensitive?

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ShowOfHands · 16/11/2006 18:38

I'm sure she didn't mean to offend! And sorry, she was probably just being honest.

lulumama · 16/11/2006 18:38

bit insensitive...but telling you it would come early would be wrong too!

the EDD is just that...estimated...

anywhere between 38 - 42 weeks is within normal range.......don't stress too much about it now..!

ask the women in your family who have had babies, whether there's where early, late or on time...that might give a guide as to whether you are going to be a 38 or a 42 weeker!!!

pooka · 16/11/2006 18:46

Think she was being realistic. However -
dd was born on her due date
ds was born on his due date (though officially 1 week late because I messed up with dates early on)
I guess it's just not something you can bank on, and if anything I'd suggest you prepare yourself for going over your dates. Early would be a bonus but lateness very common.

PanicPants · 16/11/2006 18:50

My midwife was exactly the same and ds was born 4 days early. So don't worry about it!

Twiglett · 16/11/2006 18:59

don't see why you think she's being insensitive

you made what she no doubt assumed was a jokey statement .. ie commenting on how you wished baby would be early because it would fit in with the calendar of festivities nicely

she made a comment back about how first babies tend to be late

either of you could be right .. or baby could come on edd

think you're being overly sensitive . .. but then every pregnant woman is so I wouldn't give it a second's more thought personally .. I'll almost bet the midwife hasn't

Frenchsmallfry · 16/11/2006 19:34

Too true twiglet.....

Sorry but she perhaps didn't realise you were serious about your statement.

ds was due 18th Dec..........Christmas came..... and went, he arrived on the 27th. We had a wonderful Christmas, even went away. Just made the festive time last a little longer.

twickersmum · 16/11/2006 20:11

she just made a normal remark! she's right!
your pg hormones are in overdrive.
look back on this in a few months and you will laugh.
though you probably hate me too now.

3andnomore · 16/11/2006 21:32

Hm, well, with es I can't be sure if he was early or late, lol...as my edd given here in england was a week earlier then the one given in Germany and he came slap bang in the middle...but, seeing that my other 2 were both 12 days and 14 days early , in that order...I am thinking he was early, and many first Baby's are...probably as many as those that are just on time or late...luck of the draw...and no one knows...but crossing all I have for you!

ellasmum1 · 16/11/2006 21:37

She was being honest and laughing a bit because she probably speaks to other women saying same thing 10 times a day at this time of year! Sorry but its far far more likely that your baby will be late , but who knows you might be lucky and then you can be all smug when you see her afterwards!

Original poster

Dawnybabe · 17/11/2006 10:28

Well I guess that's all true, but I was being serious when I said I'd love to have my new baby as the perfect Christmas present, what new mum wouldn't? I just thought she was being a bit dim in shooting me down in flames so abruptly. Obviously I'm gonna have to be prepared to have her past Christmas, it would be silly not to, but grrrr.......

OP posts:

tortoiseshell · 17/11/2006 10:30

The best guide to when they'll arrive is what your mum did - my mum was 12 and 10 days late with my and my brother, I was 12, 14 and 8 days late with my 3. My b/friend was born early, her babies have all been early. But first babies do seem to tend to be later. Have a good Christmas whatever!

spinamum · 17/11/2006 11:03

I'm due on Xmas day with DS2 and my former M/W was covering for my current one and made a similar comment(DS2 will be late as DS1 was) Unfortunately true statistically(sp?).

But as a second timer and low risk(due to having one low risk pg already,no one had montitored me for anything by the stage that label was given to me!!), I hardly ever see a M/W so any contact with them is a novelty.

Join us on Due in Dec and I'll race you to the finish!!!(eating curries as we go!)

incy · 17/11/2006 12:49

I was told by MW that DS would def come early and he was 2 weeks late ! So I would just ignore her....

Agree that best indicator is your mum - Brother and I were also week + late.

yomellamoHelly · 17/11/2006 13:00

Ds1 was born 5 days late. Am expecting ds2 on 20/12. Am expecting him to arrive late too. I was 8 days late and 2 of my 3 brothers were also late (though don't know by how much). Agree with advice to ask your mum and take your lead from that.

Booboobedoo · 17/11/2006 14:44

Dawnybabe, as far as I can judge by your OP you were just expressing a hope, and she reacted in a typical MW fashion: i.e. patronise the new mother in a jocular fashion. Or 'prepare the naive, inexperienced woman for disappointment'.

I can see what everyone else is saying, but it would have got on my tits as well. Thought you needed to hear that!

It would be nice to have her for Christmas! And I hope you do.

LadyOfThePoinsettias · 17/11/2006 14:45

uh, ds1 was a week early, of his own accord. ds2 was late.

Frenchsmallfry · 17/11/2006 15:39

Agreed incy. My 2nd was 2weeks late and induced in the end. All that after I was told at 29 weeks that my cervix was already 2cm dilated and that I was High risk for prem-labour???????

btw I am in France and we have monthly internals. Ewwwwwwww!

fannyannie · 17/11/2006 15:41

lol tortoise - I wish my best guide was my mum for EDD's and actual birth dates.

My brother (who's older) was born 11 days early
And me - the younger was born 11 days late.

DS1 of mine was 12 days early
DS2 was 2 days early (but waters broke nearly 1 week early).

Olihan · 17/11/2006 15:55

I hate to say this but a recent study has suggested that how late or otherwise your mum was is totally irrelevant to your pregnancy. It is actually the father who is the deciding factor on when babies arrive. Something to do with his share of the genes apparently. I'm a bit pregnancy brained myself at the mo so can't remember where I read it but for all of us who were late, that's one more thing we can blame on your dh/dps .

Dawnybabe, I was due on Christmas Day with my 1st and despite being told he would be late, was absolutely gutted when he didn't arrive. It totally wrecked Christmas for us, irrationally of course but it was the worst Christmas Day I've ever had. Can I suggest that you focus on the latest date that your baby will arrive, that way it will be a nice bonus if you have had her by Christmas.

TBH, your midwife isn't being insensitive or shooting you down in flames, she's just realistic but I understand how she probably came across - humour and heavily pg mums don't necessarily go together!

Olihan · 17/11/2006 15:57

Sorry, that last sentence was meant to say 'midwives' humour and heavily pg mums'.

Booboobedoo · 17/11/2006 15:59

lol olihan. I'd already agreed with your first post.

My sense of humour seemed to disappear about the same time as my waist.

Just hope they both come back.

lorie · 17/11/2006 16:16

I am also due near christmas, my EDD is the 15th. I would so love the baby to be here for christmas but.....have to be realistic and know I have no control over this what so ever!

I think its hard because for months you are thinking about that all important date, everybody asks you when you are due etc and you get so hung up on it!

Dawnybabe, we could well be looking at a date after christmas but before the new year!? Good Luck.

stokeymonkey · 17/11/2006 16:28

Was in Morrisons the other day queuing with my basket (full of chocolate things and rice pudding ). A fiftysomething woman looked at my bump and asked me when I was due. I said 28th December - her eyebrows shot up and she said "Well! What a time to choose!" and then walked away!
Felt quite insulted even though the old me probably would have laughed..

lorie · 17/11/2006 16:34

Ha! Charming eh? I don't know some people...

spinamum · 17/11/2006 21:51

I keep getting asked if my Xmas day EDD was planned. Yep of course. I have such precise control over my ovulation that I actully made myself ovulate on 3rd April so that I could spend Xmas Day with all my ILs asking me if anything was happening yet{hmm}

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