Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Birth stories 1st baby

69 replies

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 19:44

Hi ladies,

I know this has been done to death but id like to hear some stories about birthing your 1st babies.

I don't want horror stories just your positive experiences. Especially from women who were terrified but it turned out ok!

I guess I need reassurance that im going to get through it. 38 weeks now and keep going through phases of believing I was made for this to panicking.

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

guineapig1 · 19/06/2015 23:02

Gosh sorry I'm going to have to disagree with recent posters. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to hear "horror stories", but instead going into the delivery suite with positive thoughts but open to all interventions to get the baby out safely if need be which is clearly what OP has in mind. I did exactly this and though my DC1's birth was far from straightforward, had lots of interventions and was far from what I imagined, I reiterate that it was a very positive experience. I certainly don't look back on it with any feelings of disappointment or failure. I completely appreciate that some people might feel like this but to suggest that everyone will feel a failure if their birth doesn't go to plan is really quite ridiculous. Clearly you've got to be prepared for every eventuality which is what the OP has in mind. There is nothing wrong at all however for wanting to hear positive stories and OP has also acknowledged that even if something isn't textbook it can still be a good experience.

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 23:05

That's not what I've said at all.

I haven't surrounded myself with positive birthing stories in fact I have said how can I decide what is positive and what's not. I want to hear stories where things have turned out okay in the end. I have heard PLENTY of not so good stories. But I'm the type of person that if I focus too much on those I will literally lose my mind.

I don't think I'm bring unfair by asking to hear good stories. I'm sorry you feel like a failure but I certainly won't no matter how my baby gets here. Just because I've asked to hear.positive ones doesn't mean yours aren't valid. I'd be stupid to spend £200 on a hypnobirthing course and tell myself it.might not work I have to have faith that it will

OP posts:

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 23:07

I don't feel like a failure but thank you for throwing that word in there.

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 23:07

guineapig has understood my point in this post. I'm not being rude

OP posts:

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 23:08

cunchofbunts I never said you did feel like a failure!!! Another poster said they did for gods sake

OP posts:

Hopefulnewbie · 19/06/2015 23:11

I don't think OP was meant to be rude or dismissive to anyone, she is a bit nervous and is just asking for some positive stories, meaning to give her a boost of confidence.
All births are completely different and none are 'negative' OP just meant -please don't scare me anyone than I already am'
OP,don't be upset- read everyone's experiences and see that no matter what happens during, the end result is all that matters (as a first timer, that's what I'm trying to tell myself).
It's great to have a plan but I think having a plan b, even c isn't a bad idea
Good luck! And I hope you will be telling me your birth story on here soon to reassure me I can do it too.

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 23:12

My apologies then if I misread you.

Yes, of course you should believe that hypnobirthing will work for you and it does work for many people but if it doesn't, don't beat yourself up. I know a doula who has had women afterwards berate her for their less than perfect births as they had spent money on her being there and also hypnobirthing etc. There are no guarantees.

ch1134 · 19/06/2015 23:17

The end result is not all that matters. It is the most important thing but not the only thing. Women go through a lot, physically and mentally, and then they are told 'all that matters is the baby'. Women matter too. I was in pain for months after the birth, but here is no place to talk about that.

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 23:18

ch1134 there is a place! Look up the Birth Trauma Association on facebook.

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 23:19

Of course there aren't no and I know that. Please believe that I know that.

I simply don't want to be scared I suppose what I was looking for when posting this was someone to tell me it's going to be okay but no one can tell me that and now I feel like I shouldn't have bothered. I feel like all women should have the confidence that their bodies were made to do it. If hypnobirthing has taught me anything is that I have options so I do have numerous plans. But most of these revolve around the baby and putting he or she first.

OP posts:

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 23:23

I think that's the thing though. No one can really say: Don't be scared. It's natural to be so.

ch1134 · 19/06/2015 23:23

Thanks cuntch... wishing you all the best OP.

FunnysInLaJardin · 19/06/2015 23:27

um, yeah. I am not convinced at all that all womens bodies were made to have children. If there had been no ventouse or back up EMCS then doubtless DS1 and I would have died in childbirth just like in the old days.

OP be prepared. Have an open mind. Expect it to hurt and accept drugs. That is all I can say really. Oh and my second birth was miles better than the first however both my sons are a joy and loved equally despite that!

ch1134 · 19/06/2015 23:34

Yes Funny's... I'd probably be dead too. Totally wish people had made me feel ok about accepting pain relief before I struggled on for 18 hours with a back-to-back babe. Pain relief is there for a reason. I had to keep telling myself afterwards that no women had gone through what I had with no pain relief and lived to tell the tale.. that helped me to accept it.

mustard73 · 20/06/2015 00:09

I was terrified at the thought of giving birth.
Was overdue with induction booked for 41+3. Had a sweep at 41+1 and baby born 41+2.

Woke up around 3am not feeling right, got a hot water bottle and went back to bed. Up again at about 5am and started pacing the living room. I was having regular contractions by this point, sore but not too bad around 10 min apart if I remember correctly. 6am went into the bath which did not help at all. Took some paracetamol. Paced about for a couple more hours while the contractions got worse, woke DP up at 8am and phoned the hospital who told me to come in when contractions were lasting 1 minute and were 2-3mins apart. Contractions felt like horrible stomach cramping like when you are ill and have diareah. They stopped me dead until it was over and as soon as it ended I could walk about and talk perfectly normal. They build and there was definately a peak. I could say "it's starting" and be fine then it would peak and be agony then I could feel it easing. I don't think they got really much worse in terms of pain but because they last longer and get closer together it feels worse and is tiring.

We drove to the local shops and I got some food to take in to hospital with me (we didn't think I was ever going to go into labour so we're so unprepared ). Took some more paracetamol at about 10. At around 1pm even though my contractions weren't quite 2 mins apart I phoned again and said I just felt like I had to come in because I was quite scared.

They agreed and we made ourselves up to maternity assessment. Waited in the waiting area to be seen for about 10 mins and when we got in nurse checked baby's heart, I gave urine sample, she checked my bp then did an examination and I was 6cm! She went over the gas and air with me but I didn't need it at that point.

Walked down to labour ward and got changed into nightie. Midwife put monitor round my belly and unfortunately it had to stay on as baby's heart rate was dipping. Coped really well for a few hours then had to have my waters broken at about 5pm as I wasn't progressing. Contractions really amped up then and I needed the gas and air plus a jag of morphine. It didn't take away the pain for me but separated me from it, I was as high as a kite!

Hairy moment as baby's heart rate dropped to about 20-30, lots of medics in the room, blood taken from baby (not pleasant for me- they had to do this vaginally), were thinking possible cSection. Results must have came back OK so I continued to labour with great support from the midwives. I also had to have a fluid drip attached to myself I think my heart rate was quite high. I did beg for the epidural at this point and was crying my heart out but they said it was too late and really gave me motivation and confidence I could do it.

At around 7pm I felt the urge to push and midwife encouraged me to go with my natural insinct and she guided me through pushing. I was terrified of tearing so I did what she said and at 8.51pm my baby was born! It was a horrible burning, stretching pain when crowning I really felt like I couldn't do it. I felt like I was doing rubbish and I was tiring out quickly eg she wanted me to push for a longer time than i could. The body practically fell out after the head .
No stitches needed only a small graze. the cord was wrapped round baby stomach and neck which was why heart rate had been dipping when I was contracting. Cord clamped and DH cut then baby placed in my arms. I had the injection to deliver the placenta and the midwife took care of that. It was fine! She then checked me over for tears (including my bum so be aware!). I had a shower about 2 hours later and then was moved to post natal ward.

It is painful but the second you hold the baby in your arms it's all forgotten about. Well, a year down the line I have forgotten but I could remember very clearly for a good while after I wrote on my birth plan I was scared of tearing and needing stiches, forceps or vonteous delivery I was also petrified for.

As much as I wanted epidural at the time I am glad I didn't get it as I was perfectly mobile straight afterwards and I probably wouldn't opt for one next time unless I really wasn't coping.Sorry it's so long but I was so scared and could only find horror stories online which made me worse and I like to share my story to help put people at ease labour is such a personal thing, I would advise an open mind and to remember that it has to happen and that it will eventually be over!!

Lweji · 20/06/2015 00:16

I went in wanting an epidural. Not prepared to endure the full pain.

But, it took too long to dilate, and when it did, it came too fast and I was already pushing. Had to do it on gas and air. And while I hated the pain, it was amazing to be in control of the process. I was just focused on the baby and the birth.

applecore0317 · 20/06/2015 05:02

I kept telling people that I wasn't going to be a hero and would ask for pain relief if needed. I didn't get nervous about the birth as knew that there were plenty of options if I wasn't coping with the pain.

I went five days overdue, waters started leaking at 1am, within an hour my contractions started and were 2-3 minutes apart. At 4am I was examined on the birthing unit and was 5cm, waters then literally burst, got in the birthing pool and used breathing techniques from my hypnobirthing cd and book. Tried Gas and Air but after one go decided it wasn't for me.

Within a couple of hours I had an overwhelming urge to push, got out of the bath and she arrived at 7.17am. No screaming from me and 6 hours 17 mins from waters first starting to go.

I honestly surprised myself by not having pain relief :) Only negative was that the pain made me vomit, and I also vomited a fair bit when pushing...

applecore0317 · 20/06/2015 05:11

Had forgotten about the burning feeling... and it only happened just under three weeks ago lol

I had the injection to deliver the placenta, but had to puah again to get it out.

I do remember however that the midwofe was dabbing my perinium with a hot cloth to try and reduce tears or a need for an episiotomy. I had a very small tear, although it was second degree it was tiny, used the gas and air for the injection to have the stitches, which didn't really hurt, enjoyed it at that point, felt drunk lol

LittleGreyCatwithapinkcollar · 20/06/2015 17:47

I had regular contractions (3 every 10 mins) that started just like that at 7 pm on Saturday. DD was born at 5:04 am the following Thursday... I decided that whilst regular I wasn't in enough pain to start with and though I couldn't sleep through them they didn't get more painful until after my sweep at midday on the Wed. was told I was 4 cm. went in at 9 that evening and was sent home as I was only 3! that was the worst part of the whole thing, particularly as she was back to back so no gap in pain between contractions. Eventually admitted at 2:30am at 6 cm. Was sure I was having an epidural but found gas and air was amazing! Waters went at 4:50am when I was fully dilated. Meconium in them so had to have the monitor fitted and lie on my back which I hadn't planned to. Pushing stage was totally fine. It was quick - ten mins, 4 contractions. Didn't have gas and air for it. I wish she hadn't been back to back as the pain was horrid, and I wish the latent stage hadn't been so long as I was sooooo tired, but the actual giving birth bit was fine! So I think it was a positive labour even if it was 106 hours long with 5 hours total sleep in that time!!!

Flip

1 2 3