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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Birth stories 1st baby

69 replies

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 19:44

Hi ladies,

I know this has been done to death but id like to hear some stories about birthing your 1st babies.

I don't want horror stories just your positive experiences. Especially from women who were terrified but it turned out ok!

I guess I need reassurance that im going to get through it. 38 weeks now and keep going through phases of believing I was made for this to panicking.

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Edenviolet · 19/06/2015 21:32

Dd1 I was induced at 41+4, after three days of contractions (the last day they were every two mins yet I only dilated to 2cm) I had an emcs.

Ds1 I had a vbac planned but had a complication called placenta accreta so had to have elcs at 39 weeks, was in a lot of pain afterwards.

Dd2 was elcs at 38 weeks. Amazing experience, virtually no pain after and she bf immediately it was just perfect

Ds2 was elcs at 36 weeks due to accreta again. Pain wise it wasn't great the first 48 hrs but not as bad as with ds1

Currently contemplating if I could go through it all again, life is hectic but I'm so so broody.....

guineapig1 · 19/06/2015 21:33

1 week late, 36 hour labour including 17 in the delivery suite at which point they yanked DC1 out with a scissors and giant pair of tongs episiotomy and rotational forceps as was back to back and stuck with cord round neck, paediatric team at the end of the bed. But was actually really positive, DC was thankfully fine and I healed quickly with no problems at all. Dh looked a bit faint at one point.

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 21:33

That was honestly meant to be helpful. I have it on my notes too and the midwives have been happy about the honesty. It also meant that I had a chance to speak to the Consultant Midwife about any issues which was very helpful in allaying any anxieties.

And again, rather rude of you...

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 21:40

cunchofbunts apologies but every other thing you have said to me on this thread has made me feel stupid and has come across rather rudely too...

guineapig1 glad to hear it didn't scar you for life and I'm glad you little one was okay. I do worry about my OH he seems to think it's going to go smoothly and exactly how I want it to go (it may do) but every time I try and tell him it could go another route he refuses to hear it and tells me I need to be positive but I think if I'm honest he's trying to stop himself freaking out about the whole thing!!

OP posts:

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 21:42

coney, re-read your thread after you've had your baby and I wish you well and you may well cringe.

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 21:46

cunchofbunts I'm completely baffled and quite upset by your insessent piss taking and I'm trying my very best not to tell you to fuck off.

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TreeSparrow · 19/06/2015 21:47

Coneywonder, I wish you the best of luck with your birth. I don't blame you for wanting to read some positive stories. And positive stories don't equate to "valid" or "invalid". It's up to the contributor to decide if their story is positive or not surely? Ignore the critical posters. Good luck and stay positive and open minded about what is to come. X

DonTChew · 19/06/2015 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

guineapig1 · 19/06/2015 21:49

Ah I know what you mean about your DH. Mine is fantastic but likes to plan everything which obviously you can't do with pregnancy and birth. That said, when the time comes you just get on with it and I thought I'd be in right state. Before I went into labour I couldn't even imagine getting my knickers off in public and actually declined a sweep on these grounds well I know it's not in public but you know what I mean...but actually it was absolutely fine. The adrenaline and common sense kicked in and got me through and it will for you too!

No I wasn't scarred for life. DC2 came along a couple of years later, no problems or interventions 6 hours from first twinge ti screaming baby! Good luck, you'll be fine!

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 21:50

Because even if it takes you forever to get over it, you still made a life which is pretty cool.

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 21:50

Thank you treesparrow like I said I'm in no position to decide what's positive or not and the last thing I wanted to do when asking to hear stories is make people think there experiences aren't valid. I know every pregnancy and birth is different, I'm not stupid I just wanted to hear some stories from women who were as scared as me and it turned out okay. I might be mega hormonal but I'm genuinely upset

OP posts:

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 21:54

guineapig your oh sounds like mine I just hope I don't let him down in anyway (I know that sounds daft) and I've spoken to him about this and he's assured me that that couldn't happen. I'm the kind of person that will obsess over this until it's done and I know when I have my baby in my arms I won't care about how they got there just that they are safe. But in the same breathe I feel like being a mum is what i was put here to do and I'd love the labour to be how I'm dreaming it will be (who doesnt) I juSt like to read others experiences so I'm prepared for all eventualities

OP posts:

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 21:54

OP, I think quite a lot of people are terrified about it. It's not something you've done before and quite understandably the lack of knowing about how it goes and how you'll deal with it can make you feel out of control.

I'm actualy more AND less scared the second time round knowing what I know but each birth experience is different even if it's the same woman.

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 21:55

*breath

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guineapig1 · 19/06/2015 21:56

Oh and your OH will be fine too...you'll just get on with it together , the time goes surprisingly quickly and your OH will be concentrating on you and the baby rather than the niceties of the situation.

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 21:57

Really don't think about letting your OH down. If you see it as being performance related that's putting a huge amount of pressure on you. Everyone reacts differently to the situation and there are so many variables that it's impossible to say what will happen and how you'll be in that situationh.

guineapig1 · 19/06/2015 22:03

Yes I know exactly where you're coming from and you're absolutely right that when your baby arrives you won't mind at all how it's got here. I also had in mind the "perfect birth" just gas and air, no epidural etc but ended up with that and a synto with DC1 to speed things up at one point. By that point I wasn't bothered about the birth plan, just wanted DC here safely which they did soon after and I still strongly feel that the whole experience was really positive despite it being far from the textbook birth you read about.

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 22:07

See that to me is just as positive you did what you felt was needed at the time and you got your baby here. I just want it over with now so I can stop stressing

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badg3r · 19/06/2015 22:08

A week after giving birth someone asked me how the labour was. I said it was hard work but fine and I wouldn't mind if I had to do it every week. My dh looked at me as if I was crazy and told me I wasn't remembering it right

I had a 5h labour at 41+2 in the midwife led unit. I have nothing but great memories (thanks hormones!)

You will be absolutely fine. Your baby has to come out at some point, and by the time you are in active labour you will be so focused on what's going on with your body that you will not have the time to worry. Let us know how it goes!

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 22:10

Thank you badg3r all I can hope for is a healthy happy baby that arrives safetly. I think I'll remember that!

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goodnessgraciousgouda · 19/06/2015 22:12

OP - You are being incredibly rude to some of the posters on here. A couple of posters have questioned your wording and you really jumped down their throats. You will get a range of views on here and obviously not all of them will fit into the exact box of what you were hoping for.

That aside, if you have anxiety, then I genuinely believe that trying to do away with your "birth preferences" as best you can would be the most helpful step forward.

Anxiety is often kicked off by feeling out of control, right? If you get to labour and suddenly realise that everything you've read about hypno birthing is a load of total bollocks and isn't helping you at all (not saying it will, just that it's a possibility), then that's going to make it all the more stressful for you. If you haven't even really considered the possibility of an epidural, then having to process that and make a decision about it in the hospital will be a lot to handle.

Could you not try to go in with an attitude of

"I will go in. Its my first time so I won't know what to expect, and that will be a bit scary, but is totally normal. If hypno birthing works then that's awesome, and if it doesn't then I will try X pain relief first, and may need to move on to X pain relief later if I need to..." etc etc

Original poster

coneywonder · 19/06/2015 22:23

goodnessgracious that's exactly how I do intend to go into hospital, with that mindset exactly.

I believe I have been rude to one poster and that's because I didn't like the way I was being addressed like I'm a silly little girl who doesn't know shit.

All I asked for is stories to help me not to be told what I should and shouldn't be doing I feel like MN is a brilliant site but sometimes I feel like all people come on here for is to judge other people and put them down

OP posts:

ch1134 · 19/06/2015 22:43

I find it strange that hearing only positive stories would make you feel more prepared or calmer. I think this after having been through it. No-one told me 'horror stories', and I felt really let down and ill-prepared. Later my family said they hadn't wanted to scare me, but I was shocked by the birth and really upset that it didn't go smoothly. As others have said, being open and accepting to many types of birth is probably best, even those which make you feel powerless and negative.

Runningupthathill82 · 19/06/2015 22:47

Exactly what Goodnessgracious said. With bells on.

My birth story would have been more positive had I not set myself up for a fall. I told myself that hypnobirthing would work, that the water pool would be adequate pain relief and that I would be in control.

I'm not going to tell you what actually happened because you've made it very clear that you only want to hear "happy" stories, therefore invalidating the experiences of lots of posters like me.

But what I will say is, if I'd gone in there with more of a "what will be will be" attitude, I wouldn't be feeling like such a failure two years on.

Surrounding yourself with only positive birth stories isn't going to help if your experience doesn't live up to those examples, I'm afraid. I wish you well and hope all goes according to plan.

cunchofbunts · 19/06/2015 22:48

But OP, you were being extremely dismissive of other women's experiences. I don't think you're silly, just a bit rude.

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