Midwife appointments abuse questions

[layla888]

So every time I have seen my midwife I'm 35 weeks btw she asks me basically if my husband abuses me well she doesn't ask as brash as that but it's worded differently but basically that's what she's asking. Has anyone else had this at midwife appointments? Last time she told me not to get offended by the question. My reply every time is 'again, no I think DH is more scared of me" - as a joke of course! But after being asked 4 times im getting a bit fed up. Anyone?

I've been asked at every appointment. I have to say of all the things to complain about, this is really not one of them.

It's incredibly intrusive IMO, my MW also asked for the full names and DoB of DH's children from his previous marriage for 'safeguarding' reasons. I just refused to answer anything not medically relevant, which you are perfectly entitled to do.

The State really does need to get back in its box; the level of intrusion into our lives that we have been brainwashed into accepting as normal is quite astonishing at times...

The State really does need to get back in its box;

I know, its a fucking disgrace, them trying to stop women and children being killed. None of their business right?

Battery you'd rather women kept it to themselves when they were being abused?

It's a question of degree. This, IMO, is going too far.

The State could put us all in solitary confinement - that would ensure no women and children were killed by partners...would you accept that?

Midwives, health visitors and early years practitioners are meant to ask, possibly others too. It surprises me that the same midwife asks several times but it does make sense given the statistics about domestic abuse.

So what is your alternative battery?

I was asked at my booking in appt and haven't been asked since (7m now). I remember the HV asking after I had dd if there was any abuse or if I felt pressured into having sex. It doesn't bother me it's for your own safety and the safety of your unborn child(ren)

But that's not what they're doing Battery. They're asking a simple question that you can say yes or no to. Saying no is easy, over in seconds and move on. If, however, you were being abused, that might just be the opening you need.

Absolutely pathetic to moan about this tbh.

Wow, how nanny state the idea of trying to help vulnerable women being abused by their partners. And how absolutely dreadful for the majority of us pregnant ladies being inconvenienced by answering a question. How bloody dare they!

Routine questioning has been advocated by the RCM since the late 1990's but it's been a long time coming. I first presented to midwives on this in 1999 as a student midwife.

Be grateful you were asked.

And Yummy I am so sorry that your midwife didn't know the statistics around violence in relationships where at least one of the people are a professionals.... She would never, ever have joked.
Apologies in fact to all of those who were never asked and feel it could have made a difference.

It is thought that a person might need 40+ interactions with a health professional before they disclose abuse - routine questioning bridges the gap. If it's not relevant spare a thought for those who it is relevant for and think that it has the potential to make as much difference as the questions as the one about your babies movements.

Thanks tinkly. I think as we were both professionals it wasn't deemed necessary. There is so much ignorance still about dv and it can happen to anyone whatever their background. I wonder if things could have been different for me if i was asked then as thats when it all started. I wish so badly that the question had no relevance to me but it did and I was missed due to assumption and ignorance. The ex said no one would ever believe me if i spoke up as he was a gp and he was right. The gmc saw no reason to ban him from practicing in spite of repeated incidents. If anything i wish not just midwives but health visitor's gps dentists any hcps would ask more

I've been asked twice this pregnancy if the baby's father is my blood relative. Should I be offended by that?

Can't even get my head around your post MrsDeVere.

But it's so blinkered to be put out by it, it's not a nice question but it's not nice for a reason, it's serious and it could potentially save lives.

And I think it's completely different to being asked if you want medical students at your birth, personally.

Agree with Millie. It IS daft to be annoyed by the question. Being pregnant hasn't got anything to do with it.

Surely all the OP has to do is state at her next appointment that she would like to focus on her forthcoming birth/child and to please not ask her again? Problem solved.

If it annoys you, just tell your MW.

I was never asked Amy DV questions I didn't even know it was standard procedure.

I can see why it would be a bit tiresome, but policy is policy and procedure is procedure.

worldsbiggest are you of Pakistani origin? Cousins marrying cousins is an issue in some areas.