breastfeeding

[MissMartin10]

hello! I'm just curious to the reasons that some people can not breastfeed, i really hope to do this! What could be some of the things that stop me?

After only managing to breastfeed one of my three dc, I would say use your mum esp if she fed you and your siblings. It's little things I found that I didn't know such as the shape a nipple gets squashed into by the babies mouth, which is very difficult for them todo if your breasts have grown to the size of balloons! And comparing ff to bf, bf is by far the easiest once mastered :)

I had my DS on Thursday and he wasn't latching.. His finally started latching but my nipples are really sore.. It really botheres me.. I've done research on how to breastfeed and I think I do it right but still everttime I'm breastfeeding it's hurting me so much.. It eases especially after a while but the initial stage it kills.. I don't feel like breastfeeding

Oh na5ima try and stick at it if you can. Can you see a bf counsellor to have your latch checked? Midwives aren't always great at this, you need an expert really. You could look up your local la leche league leader. I found them really helpful.

Total annihalation of my nipples. But I was abroad with no help or advice. DD was a strong sucker and I have very sensitive skin. I presume her latch was incorrect. It meant I was bleeding within hours of her birth and couldn't use guards as my scabs would block them. Extremely painful. Am hoping this time round lots of education and help will mean I have more success. I also have very large breasts and when they were engorged they were massive, and the pump wouldn't work and noone would show me how to hand pump. I had zero aftercare (I was abroad) so this time in uk I'm going to get as much support as I can. Local breastfeeding group etc etc.

I think a big issue is misinformation. OP in one f your early posts here you talk about expressing and topping up with formula so your baby gets the required amount. There isn't really a set amount of breast milk - the point is that baby takes what baby needs (preferably directly in order to stimulate your supply for the future). You don't have to chase ounces like you do with formula - you trust baby to manage your supply and take what he/she needs.

And YY to "not having enough milk" I know there are cases when this is genuinely true, but your body could feed triplets if you have it chance.

(As always, these threads tend to be highly emotive. I am in no way suggesting that anyone who didn't BF didn't try hard enough and have no problem with formula. I do have an issue with myths peddled which make a difficult thing even harder)

Also want to add emphasise the point that expressing does not get as much milk as baby can. I could breastfeed but never got enough via expressing. I tried various pumps, the only times I could get anything much out was whilst feeding baby on the other breast! It was a waste of time trying to express for me.

With my first I struggled for too long and got told to supplement with bottles due to a missed tongue tie, but when I finally got proper advice from a professional lactation consultant, everything was solved very quickly. I would definitely recommend getting good advice ASAP if any difficulties with sore nipples etc.

As lots of other posters have already said - you will not be prepared for how much a newborn wants to suckle the first few weeks - it is literally constantly.

A big supprise to lots of women who have been used to seeing bottle fed babies gulp their bottle then drift of to sleep for 3 hours.

Breast fed babies will feed - doze - feed - doze - for hours and hours.
Its lack of support and information that lead to lots of mums giving up or being told their baby is not getting enough because its sleepy or a lazy feeder. Tickling their feet or rubbing their backs to rouse them on the breast helps.

Get to grips with a sling if you are not prepared to sit around doing not a lot for a few weeks or wont have a partner to support you - bring you endless tea, snacks - pass you the remote or hold the baby while you go for a pee.
And yet is can be extremely painful - toe curling as one poster put!
But once you get over the first week or so and your nips have toughened up and you are aware of when the babies latch is not good and correct is asap things should settle down.
So many poor ladies think babies suck your nipple - they don't - there are videos on you tube on how to latch properly if you don't understand what your advisers are telling you.

I found a hot flannel and hand expressing took the edge of when so engorged baby couldn't latch and never got much out using a pump so wont bother this time.
Also my let down was so violent every time a baby cried - whoevers didn't need to be my own - that came as a bit of a shock - I could shoot you in the eye from 30 paces !
Would advise as others have that supplement feeding will play havoc with your supply.

First baby was breastfed for over 2 years so hope to do the same again this time. I have small boobs and had a very chubby baby which caused lots of stupid comments - " I didn't know a woman with small breasts could have enough milk to feed a baby " Oh I did love pointing out that breast size is determined by fat, and that we all have roughly the same amount of milk ducts no matter the size of the breast!

Statistically the reasons women who initiate bf then stop after a week are;

1. Baby not sucking/rejecting the breast (33%)

2.Painful breasts or nipples (22%) 3.Mother feeling she had insufficient milk(17%)

Mother feeling she has insufficient milk and baby is too demanding/hungry increase in women who give up in the second week. I think a lot of it boils down to getting the latch right (you might need help and support) and understanding that new babies feed far more than you can possibly imagine! It's very hard to understand what "feeding every 90 minutes" actually feels like until you've actually done it. I know I was quite unprepared for it.
My baby genuinely didn't get enough milk in the early days. He was Tt and my nipples really hurt. We had to top him up with f and i found that I preferred mix feeding. I mix fed him to 6 months.
I suppose if bf means a great deal to you then there are a few things that can increase your chances;
-Early skin to skin. Put your baby to the breast early after birth and often.
-Be prepared with nct and LLL numbers. Find out if your hospital has a bf specialist.
-Do you have a supportive partner? Prep them to do more or less everything that isn't feeding.
-Get your baby checked for Tt
-Perhaps review your plan to mix feed/express. It reduces the chances of successful bf- although that does depend on how you define "successful bf"!!
-Stay on mn!

A lot of people claim they didn't make milk but to be honest I don't really believe that (*I may be wrong about a small number of the 10 ' s of people who have claimed that). My baby failed to thrive and I was encouraged to put him on formula bit I stuck it out through the horrific bleeding nipples, the roaring hungry baby, the hv's telling me to try a little ff and the huge anxiety and self doubt. After a month of slaving at it he started to slowly gain and a couple of weeks later it started to go well. I would never criticise a person for giving up in the face if a quarter I went through to breast feed but I also believe that most people don't have milk at first or even for a while, that us the baby's job to build it up. It's bloody hard work and excruciatingly painful for some. That will be your biggest challenge. There is no shame in ff, I combination fed dc2 and will for dc3 because I don't fancy putting myself through that without a quick out again.

This was 1999 but i wish I had been told by someone at Ante Natal/MW whatever that it may not work out. There was no mention that it might be anything other than marvellous and it was a real shock to find out how hard it was.

Only a tiny percentage of woman can't make milk, or can't make enough. It's just that it can be hard to turn things around if you miss that early opportunity To get baby feeding and stimulating your milk. If you have latch issues and no help then it's even harder to keep baby feeding. But with the right support the vast majority of women should be able to feed. You only have to look at the breastfeeding rates in countries where formula is prescription only to see how it's possible to feed with knowledge and support

Thank you OP for putting up this thread and a very big THANKS to everyone who's shared their experiences. My baby's due on Thurs and I've learned so much from reading it. I've even made a little note in my phone of all the points that have struck me most and will text it to my partner as well - am sure it will really help us in a few days or weeks time when the baby is here.

My dd2 had a tongue tie and reflux.

I just didn't have the reserves to keep trying with dd1 demanding attention too. I think if I hadn't gotten so mucked about with advice and being told she would have her tongue tie cut and then told they wouldn't do it and trying to express until they cut it and then being told no. I just lost my fight for it.
I really regret not trying harder now.

Bf is definitely easier. Because it's so much quicker to organise (if you will) in my opinion it makes for happier babies (less crying while bottles are produced etc).
Having said that, at first it hurts. I've had two children and with both the first 3 weeks were awful. Slap on the nipple cream and count to 10. It really honestly does get easier and in my experience, pain doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it wrong.

Other things you don't get told about building up supply - feeding in the middle of the night is the important time as that's the time your body produces the most milk-producing-hormone. I can't remember the precise hours, but its something like between 2am and 6am. Feeding baby then signals your body to make more milk to the max. So, middle of the night is not the time to get DP or someone else to give a bottle.

And growth spurts! I wish I'd known about that in advance. There will be days/ periods when your baby wants to feed all the time and seems unsatisfied and fussy. There's a big one at 2-3 days. And another one at 2 weeks. And lots of others too. The kellymom site I linked above is really useful on all that and reassuring because those are the days/ nights you start thinking 'I'm doing something wrong'. Stick with it and keep feeding baby on demand.

It doesn't have to be painful - don't want to put people off altogether. For me it was, cos DD was tongue-tied, so I had the whole bleeding/ scabby nipples and repeated mastitis thing going on due to DD's TT. But I have friends for whom it was hardly painful at all, beyond the 'let-down' phase (first half a minute or so while baby gets milk going).

There are tons of reasons why people decide to stop breastfeeding. And none of them mean that any of those women have "failed" in any way - just that they decided to change their approach for any number of reasons.

Some reasons I can think of off the top of my head:

• They are concerned because their baby isn't gaining enough weight and is in a very low weight percentile. True, some women may dogeddly decide that they will just push on, but if you see your baby isn't gaining enough weight, and topping up with formula could fix that in a matter of days....

• Breast feeding often hurts. People go on and on about "if the latch is right then it shouldn't hurt!" but that seems to be total bullshit. Some women find it a breeze. Some women find it fucking agony. It's not too hard to see how some women might want to actually enjoy feeding time with their baby, rather than dreading it, resenting the pain they are in, and generally feeling like shit.

• They might want, or need, their partner to help with feedings. If you are EBF, and apparently now even expressing your own milk is the devil, then that puts the sole responsibility for feeding on the mother. Some women might prefer or need to share that pressure.

Some types of medication can't be used when breast feeding. Some women might have to travel due to their jobs. Some women might have to go back to work early, and not be able to express at work, or, to be frank, consider that life is much easier without having to work out a complicated table for expressing. Some women might just decide that, no matter how firm their convictions beforehand, they just really hate breastfeeding.

Yes I found that the people who didn't find it painful couldn't understand why I did. Everything was right and yet it was vv painful, and nothing helped. DC are teenagers now and seem ok despite my failure.

There are tons of reasons why people decide to stop breastfeeding. And none of them mean that any of those women have "failed" in any way - just that they decided to change their approach for any number of reasons.

I never 'decided' to stop breastfeeding. The lack of support was so apalling that I 'failed' to breastfeed. It was absolutely NOT my choice but neither do I in any way feel that this was my fault. I did what I could but this was not my decision, I was badly misinformed and let down by the people I thought would know about breastfeeding.

(I thought I was prepared, having done NHS and NCT antenatal classes and having various telephone numbers for helplines and individuals saved to my phone. But during Easter hols, as I discovered, no one picks up the phone. Midwives come and go but they are not trained to help with breastfeeding issues. So I would suggest if there's any risk you may not be able to get the help you need, set something up in advance with an expert (e.g. IBCLC or LLL leader) and don't just believe anyone!)

I was induced and then had an emcs. When my son was born at 7pm I'd been 36 hours without sleep. About midnight the midwife said that because I'd had a labetalol tablet, DS would need to have his blood sugar monitored and if I didn't have any milk he would need to have formula, and that was what happened.

Thus started a bit of a vicious cycle which I wish I'd been prepared for. He kept having formula top-ups as his blood sugar was being checked regularly. I persevered with bf but he was a very sleepy feeder and would drift off to sleep within a couple of minutes of feeding. He would then wake up and howl if put down. After a traumatic birth and getting very little sleep, I found it very difficult to cope with this when I was on my own at night especially. The second night in hospital, he did feed-doze-howl-feed-doze-howl for 5 hours straight as I desperately attempted to stick to bf. At 7am I cracked and gave him some formula. He slept contentedly for the next 4 hours.

Over the next week my bf attempts were further hindered by pain and cracked and bleeding nipples. My milk supply was never great (probably due to the ffing but i only ever felt engorged once) and reduced as we got stuck in the spiral of more ffing and less bfing. He was a huge hungry newborn and as well as being a sleepy feeder was very angry at being kept waiting when he'd decided he wanted fed. Latching on was harder work for him than the bottle and he used to thrash wildly and howl; I felt like I was torturing him. We were fully ff by some time in week 2 - my milk just dried up gradually.

OK that was very long but that's where I struggled. I would really like to bf my next baby but looking back I'm not sure how I could have done things differently. My main mistake was not realising that it is normal for bf babies to feed-doze constantly, but I think that I did what I could after a difficult birth so I feel no guilt. My baby has thrived on formula so the story has a happy ending!

When people say it doesn't hurt but you're in agony it makes you feel crap about it. You assume you're doing it wrong. I absolutely wasn't doing it wrong (babies both content, both gained weight really well etc etc) but with both it was really really painful at first.

If you know it could hurt you can prepare yourself better (and cling on to the fact that it gets easier very quickly).
I also think the talk of the amazing bonding feeling/the privilege etc is a bit of a misnomer. I can't say I felt that at all to be honest. I love my girls with all I have but really did not love bfeeding. I stuck at it because I felt it was the right thing to do but I was happy to stop at 6 months.

The deafening - whilst I totally respect that you are clearly very disappointed with your experiences, no-one put a gun to your head and insisted that you stop. No-one physically impeded you from breast feeding. Even if it was a decision that you felt overwhelmed into making, or undersupported and had not other choice, it was still a decision that you made. And there is no "fault" !!!!

I'm not for a second trying to say "oh it couldn't have been that hard to have done it without support". God no.

One of mine just couldn't latch on and suck. All the others managed fine tho.

ggg actually no - no gun but also no support. I don't consider 'stop trying to breastfeed or your baby will starve' to by any kind of real choice.

I was re-admitted to hospital and told I would be supported to breastfeed but once I was on the ward it turned out that no, bf was not an option. Formula was given, and I wasn't even allowed to cup feed as that wasn't 'scientific' enough. My baby was given bottles and guess what - I still wasn't given any support to breastfeed or even to express milk.

Brilliant thread. I have been feeding DS for nearly a year now; on top of the challenges already mentioned, the times that I have nearly given up breastfeeding were when I was sleep deprived to the point of exhaustion and really couldn't fucking face feeding him again. I won't lie, there have been times where I've really resented being the only person who can feed and settle him. At 7mo I was a feed away from putting him into formula but in the end moving him into his own room helped him and therefore me to sleep better.

Im glad I didn't stop though. I love feeding him even now he's learnt that my boobs are there all the time and he can access them by pulling my top down

I can't add any experience as am pregnant with my first baby and very much hoping to breast feed. My local children's centre runs all the usual ante natal classes including a breast feeding workshop which i attended yesterday. It was great, really informative and I am thrilled to know there is someone there for me if i need help and support. I feel so much more informed and better equipped to give bf my best go.

The info i ws given all backs up what many posters here have experience of-
Babies will feed a LOT in the first weeks
Not to ff or express in the first 5-6wks.
Supply and demand, the baby feeding constantly will help establish your supply
Very very few people will not be able to produce enough milk.
You need to be committed to it esp to start.
Some people find it really easy!

So much more info.......i really recommend looking into something like this to attend yourself.