Baby On Board badges and public transport

[S1mmy]

Although these badges are more common for London commuters I'm sure you can all relate...

I started my pregnancy naively thinking that commuters always notice a badge and everyone would be gracious enough to offer their seat to a pregnant woman. I think whether you are suffering morning sickness at 8 weeks or nearly due at 36 weeks and tired, you are still pregnant and need a seat. Although it's not a right, it's just kindness.

Having been on public transport for the past four weeks with my badge and having a 90 min commute, I have been offered a seat very few times, women pushed past to grab the last seat, people stare at their phones, pretend to be asleep or just blatantly stare at me. It doesn't matter what type of person, young people, tourists, and the many Polish and Indian people that travel my tubeline the lack of kindness has shocked me no end. I have lost faith in humankind, people are just too selfish now.

I live in Germany - no badges here, but people are usually quite direct anyway, so it's ok to ask. There are days when people are huffy and inconsiderate (my favourite being the city type who grumbled at me for blocking the escalator with my baby in a pushchair so that he couldn't rush past me at top speed to get to his oh-so-urgent meeting - he told me he should have taken the elevator. I told him he should have taken the fucking stairs) but I find there are lots of times when my faith in humanity is restored. It's not always the people you expect to help that are kind - little old grannies can be evil, hoodied youths with massive earphones are as often as not the ones to jump up and offer me a seat. I think it's a glass half full/half empty thing - if you ask, you will get kindness and understanding at least 50% of the time. Focus on the people who are kind and do help!

I think it depends on which line you are travelling on. I have to use the stinky district line from Kensington to the city and oh my goodness, most people on there are experts at ignoring the badge!

I am far too passive aggressive to ask for a seat, so usually start off ignoring it, then my back starts to ache about 3 stops in. usually someone stands up after a few stops, when it becomes clear that nobody else is going to do it.

maybe a couple of people genuinely can't read English and don't understand what the badge means? but other than that, agree ethnicity isn't relevant. sex, on the other hand, does seem to be - professional women are far and away the worst culprits for raising kindles to eye level.

I don't get offered a seat on my train from Surrey but almost always do on the tube. I'm nearly 30 weeks now and am so grateful for a seat at the end of the day!

I think it's good practice in life to ask for what you need, rather than relying on other people to guess. It takes a little courage, but most people don't refuse to give up their seat if you ask. I think as a society we are less courteous than we used to be, for a whole load of reasons. When I was pregnant I generally found people from more traditional countries (e.g. India) were more likely to spontaneously offer me a seat.

I think it totally depends on the line in my experienced, and yes, I agree, the people most likely to offer their seats are young men/teenage boys.

I've got on commuter trains and tubes in London with a broken leg on crutches before and I have to say on the District line from Putney someone always shot up and offered their seat, unless the doorway was really crowded and no-one could see. Commuter train was another story - tiny me the only person to help a pregnant woman who fainted on the train - carried her off at the next platform to get help; 50 year old man in chalk stripes who glared at me all journey after I asked him directly if he would let me have his seat (or the pregnant woman standingbeside me)... Stereotypes I know, but it's sad that so many people are so selfish. Fortunately I don't do that mad scramble commute any more, but when I go back to London now I'm pregnant, I avoid the tube.

Frequently see people sitting in priority seats on London transport not being aware of elderly/injured/disabled/pregnant people and not moving. Not looking forward to my pregnant commute. Unless you've struggled with mobility on public transport a lot of people don't get it. The purpose of priority seats should be clearer and reinforced by announcements.

Its not always obvious why someone would need a priority seat though. People may have hidden disabilities or illnesses.

I'm six months pregnant, have spd, spinal fractures and I'm on crutches. When I use the tube I don't wear a badge, I ask for a seat if I need one. I did use it in early pregnancy when I wasn't obviously pregnant and felt nauseous and faint and was a danger to myself and others from crushing them. I don't think being pregnant automatically should mean you get a seat or that seeing a badge should make people leap up. If you need to sit down then ask, the badge explains for you why you may need it and I doubt anyone would refuse, especially if they are in the priority seat.

Sorry if that reads as "my pregnancy is harder than your pregnancy" I was trying to give background and say that even though I struggle I dint always ask for a seat for various reasons.

Its not always obvious why someone would need a priority seat though. People may have hidden disabilities or illnesses.

This is precisely why I don't 'just ask' individuals unless I'm very close to fainting (blood pressure through the floor + controlled hyperemesis = unenjoyable lifestyle choice). I simply don't know their story, and whether they need the seat more than me.

Only a couple of times have I managed a 'I'm dreadfully sorry, would someone mind letting me sit as I'm feeling quite unwell'. Lots of foot shuffling and studious avoidance of eye contact tends to ensue until someone caves first.

It's not even a terribly long journey, which is why I swallow it most of the time. If it were two hours id have more sympathy for the determined sitters!

Does it even matter whether these people are Polish or Indian ? You can't always judge what ethnicity some people are anyway. We can all be ignorant, forget race.

I was in London for two days last week, for a course. I travelled from Liverpool street to Oxford circus on both days on the central line.

The first journey, I was lucky. There were several empty seats, and I took one.

The journey back, I stood by the priority seats. A young woman in her late twenties was in one, and an elderly man in the other. Neither offered me a seat (if the old man had, I'd have said 'no thank you). A man in his late sixties got off the train at the first stop, and offered his seat to me on his way off the train.

The next day, there was no empty seats again in the morning. I was pretty tired having had a long day before, and travelled nearly 3 hours to get to Liverpool street... so, I thought I'll ask someone for a seat. I again went towards the priority seats, and on one side was a business man the other a lady in her sixties. I asked the business man (he looked to be aged around 40ish) if I could sit down... he first of all ignored me, so I thought he hadn't heard, so said again a bit louder. He then looked right at me and opening his newspaper told me that 'I wasn't pregnant enough to deserve his seat' - I just looked at him, and said I'm more pregnant than you!' At which point someone else in a non-priority seat offered me theirs.

The journey home, I didn't dare ask anyone for a seat, but after the first or second stop someone getting off the train offered me their seat as they got up.

I was 24 weeks when this happened. My bump is quite pronounced (had the twins comment a gazillion times) so although I wasn't wearing a badge (didn't know they existed tbh) I think most people would have known about my pregnancy.

So out of four (short) journeys, only one incident of real rudeness. But not many people were willing to offer me their seat.

Well you learn something new everyday. Not living in the south east anymore I had no idea badges existed so on my rare trips to London for work I've never noticed them. Nobody looks at each other in London surely?

I agree whatabout, I too am 6 months and although nearly always offered a seat, I only accept or ask when I feel I need it.

I've felt really lifted by how many nice people offer but unlike disabled or elderly I don't think it's necessarily a given that you get a seat unless you ask for it.

Cava - the sign shows a pregnant lady. So I think unless the seat is already occupied by someone 'less able to stand' then they should give it up. I usually avoid sitting in the priority seats (in case I don't notice if someone needs a seat) but will always get up for someone who looks like they need it.

I mean, in whatever seat I'm in...

EVERY seat is a priority seat. They should have those stupid signs on each tube / train / bus seat.

Some train operating companies give cards to those who need to use priority seats, and a couple allow us pregnant people to sit in first class if the rest of the train is full which should be allowed anyway...

I just don't understand what is so fucking hard about looking around to see if anyone may need the seat more than you.

I'm 19+4 and have not been wearing my badge for the following reasons:

1. I feel absolutely fine (lucky I know and it may not last!)
2. My commute is only 15 mins
3. I get on at the first stop so I know that lots of people get on early specifically to get a seat and I feel bad rushing on 30 secs before the doors close and expecting one!

That being said I was offered one by a lady yesterday who has clocked my tummy and I was pretty chuffed as I must not just look fat now! Hooray!

Personally I always try and give up my seat for preggo ppl but have often had that embarrassing thing of zoning out and not noticing or whatever, people's eyes are not constantly darting around looking for a badge, people are in their own worlds. And ethnicity definitely has no bearing on things from what I've seen!! And yes you're very clever to be able to decide where exactly people come from just by looking at them op...

I directly approach young men and ask on behalf of the pregnant woman. I am a born and bred Londoner and was taught very early in life (think 3 or 4) that you stood for pregnant women and the elderly. I have smashed the message into my dcs with a sledge hammer. My dm excuses generally poor tube behaviour with a stage whispered "maybe they come from the country and don't understand poorvthings"

Badge or not, if you want/need a seat, ask for one. When commuting I don't make a habit of glancing around the car at every stop to see if someone getting on needs a seat. I've gotten up when I noticed once or twice but most times I've gotten up is because an elderly/infirm person asked me to.

I gave up on the kindness of fellow commuters a long time ago!

Have to say in London's defence that when I was pregnant I think I always got a seat in the tube and the train Couple of times somebody else would ask someone to give me their seat but generally got one in the end. was eight years ago though so not so many kindles and phones about for people to be engrossed in...

Stillwish, that's a bit odd. Are you saying that you ask fellow passengers to give up their seats any time a pregnant stranger gets on the tube? Why not let her ask, if she wants to ask, on her own behalf, or let others offer, rather than pre-empting everyone by assuming she's too timorous and they're too rude? As pps have said, I didn't tend to ask if I was only going a few stops, and was feeling fine.

I agree wholeheartedly with those saying: just ask.
I am 38 weeks (last day of work today!) and I take the tube twice daily, and I have never ever had anyone refuse to give up their seat if I ask.
I simply approach the people in the priority seats and kindly ask if they would mind giving up their seat as I am pregnant. If the person seating in the seat needs the seat more than I do, they can say (and it has happened to me, so I simply apologise and ask the next person).
I do think that sometimes people are engrossed in their music/book/newspaper and genuinely do not always notice.
I do also regularly have people offer me their seat spontaneously.