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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

NCT classes... are they worth it? DH keen but I'm not sure!

50 replies

LilacWine7 · 13/05/2015 14:26

My DH is very keen for us to book them. However I don't really like group situations, I don't feel comfortable discussing personal issues with a roomful of strangers especially as partners attend. I also have Hg (still suffering with nausea and vomiting at 23 weeks and no guarantee it will improve by time NCT starts). I told DH I'm not bothered about going, he was disappointed as he wants to meet other couples and likes groups.
I don't want to pay for the course and then find I'm still too unwell to attend. Also I've heard the sessions are often held in the midwife's home?? I wouldn't mind so much if they were hospital-based with a Sat/Sun morning option, but evenings are my worst time for sickness.
Has anyone done NCT classes? What did you think of them? If I booked but was too ill to attend, would DH be able to attend them by himself?

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MrsAnxiety1 · 13/05/2015 14:35

I'm in a similar position to you, in that I'm not sure whether to go or not! I was given a leaflet at my last midwife appointment that is for nhs run classes, which focus on slightly different areas. I'm going to give it a go (it's a turn-up-for-as-many-as-you-want type) as it sounds useful info, but I'm not giving up on the idea of NCT as people have said it's good.

If you go to the NCT website it'll tell you where the classes are held - none of the ones round here are held in anyone's house! It's usually a community centre or church hall etc.

museumum · 13/05/2015 14:40

I didn't nct as the classes "near" weren't too near. I had a good nhs group though which I think is rare and I did prenatal yoga and met with the other mums in the first three months or so although we've drifted apart now.
My friend and neighbour did have a successful nct group and I know half of them through my friend and am actually a bit envious of the way the fathers are friends as I don't have that with dh, he's not really friends with any of my son's little friends' parents.

scarednoob · 13/05/2015 14:47

i haven't done them yet, so can't speak for myself. but i can say that all my old friends with babies met all their new best friends there. for the social stuff, and having people with babies the exact same age as yours that you can do things with when you're on leave seems to be very valuable!

BeforeIChangeMyMind · 13/05/2015 14:58

I don't like group sessions either Lilac - I was undecided first time around and took the plunge. But my "NCT friends" saved my sanity many, many times over with DS and I've taken a NCT refresher course this time around, purely to meet other people.

We were a big group (nine couples) with ages ranging from 25 to over 40. There is no way I would have been friends with some of them had we met in other circumstances. But the awkwardness passed after one session and it was SO worth it. People only shared what they felt comfortable sharing... One of us kept quiet about the fact that she was a GP all the way through, as she didn't want all the medical questions coming her way.

I can call on 7 of them still - one has moved away - the group was a lifeline in so many ways. But they did all live in my town, two within a couple of streets.

You can look on the NCT website to find out about times and locations - teachers aren't necessarily midwives but they have been trained and vetted by the NCT. We did Saturday daytime at a local community hall for four weeks. Your DH could attend without you if you felt too sick, or you could leave early etc. Teachers are pretty flexible and accommodating generally.

Short answer: yes it was worth it for me, and then some. Best money I spent while pregnant. I know it's not for everyone but if the worst outcome is that you make one friend (and the best is that you make 6/7/8 friends) then I would recommend it for sure.

applecore0317 · 13/05/2015 15:04

I finished mine two weeks ago and have already met up with them outside of NCT and meeting up with the girls again tomorrow night. For me it was a great way to meet people in my home town that are due around the same time. Our NCT teacher was also really good and didn't try and ram her own beliefs down our throats, she was very neutral and covered a lot.

The lady that came to talk to us about breast feeding was also great and again didn't push it down our throats, she also talked about bottle feeding for those that weren't sure about breast feeding and talked about how to bottle feed whilst still having that close skin to skin feeling etc.

It was well worth the money for my DH and I :)

totallygone · 13/05/2015 15:06

I thought they were really good, and worth every penny, although we only had to pay £15 instead of £150 for the classes as we are low income.

The thing that I thought was really great about them is that some activities were done mothers and partners separately, so DP was able to discuss his fears etc. With other blokes who understood and felt the same, and I was able to do likewise with other mums-to-be.
It was a very small group, only 4 other couples apart from us, and the group leader.
I would say that if he is keen to go then book on, as if you aren't up for it when the day comes, he should go by himself, as he will get a lot out of it, including meeting others in the same position as him. All the information is as equally relevant to him as it would be to you, and we spent a lot of time at my class talking about how the he can be an effective birth partner, which would be invaluable. Also, having him know about the mechanics of labour and what would happen if you ended up having an emc will be useful, coz if he's not panicking in labour he can be more supportive for you :)
Also, NCT people are all lovely, in my experience. The course leader will contact you in advance, ours did by email, so there is the opportunity then to let her know that you wouldn't be comfortable with saying anything too personal (although I was never asked anything personal at mine)
Hope that helps!

Treesandbees · 13/05/2015 21:30

I couldn't have got through the first 6 months of my DS arriving without my NCT groups support. 2 years on we are still all close. I don't recall the content being that useful but for the friendships it's been priceless!

scrivette · 13/05/2015 21:36

I didn't go to any NCT classes and I don't feel that I missed out too much.

When I was on maternity leave I wasn't bored and there were plenty of classes at the library, Sure Start Centre and Playgroups for me to go to if I wished.

However, I did have friends and relations with small children that I could go and see and Mumsnet was useful for answering questions.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 13/05/2015 21:39

I would actually go as far as to say they are one of the best things I've ever done. The support was (and still is, 18 months on) completely invaluable and my group were an absolute lifeline.

OMGBabyNo3 · 14/05/2015 06:57

Would also say mine were invaluable. Not for what I learnt. I was an avid reader about pregnancy and labour! However although almost 9 years ago I met some of my current closest friends there and would have been lost without them in that first year x

Haggisfish · 14/05/2015 07:12

Mine were worth every penny, too, and our Nct lady was very balanced and talked about Cs as well as vb. still meet up with my group five and a half years on!

Haggisfish · 14/05/2015 07:12

And there wasn't massive amounts of awkward chat about intimate things either.

britishbakeoffblues · 14/05/2015 07:16

I went - "D"H (now exH) refused to come.
I met some great people. They were my lifeline for the first 2 years and I still keep in contact with one friend I met the others turned out to be twats!
I do think it gave me a few unrealistic expectations of labour but all in all, I don't regret going.

Whenwillwe3meetagain · 14/05/2015 07:16

So worth it in my case. Lucky that I have a great group. So helpful having friends going through the same as you. I'm so enjoying mat leave and a big reason is all my new friends. Personally at the start I would have felt a bit lonely without them and wouldn't have wanted to go out to classes to meet people.

LadyCybilCrawley · 14/05/2015 07:22

12 years later I still count the ladies I met among my closest friends - and my DH says the same thing of the partners

They saved my sanity many times over

Best money spent whilst pregnant - without a doubt

MabelSideswipe · 14/05/2015 07:24

Not many NCT teachers are midwives. They are trained Antenatal Teachers and are trained to facilitate groups. They are used to dealing with people who are not fans of talking in groups especially if you let her know beforehand. Some classes are held in homes but mostly they are in halls etc. It's dependent on area/teacher. There is no pressure to talk about anything personal in the group beyond name and due date but individuals will want to chat. The classes are a mix of evenings and weekend days so again depends on area and teacher.

Sausages123 · 14/05/2015 07:26

I think they are worth it just to meet people, our NCT group still see each other weekly/twice weekly 4 years on and each have met other people through each other that we have an ace support network.

Kilicat · 14/05/2015 07:49

Just finished ours last week and thought they were well worth it -both me and DH really rated them very highly. We met some lovely people and have already arranged to see them again before our babies are due. It was in a community centre and the leader wasn't a midwife. She was great at discussing the things we wanted to talk about and emailing through loads of info - both her and the breast feeding lady have given us their numbers in case we need to talk anything through before or after the birth as well (not in a pushy way, just in a nice we're here if you need us kind of way). We weren't expected to share any personal or embarrassing issues with the group and contributed to discussions at the level we felt comfortable with - it was all very tasteful and nothing hippyish or weird about the sessions. The leader didn't force her opinions on us - gave us the range of info for us to make our own decisions. DH could definitely go alone, but I'm not sure on their refund policy so that might be worth checking out if you think sickness may well keep you away.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 14/05/2015 07:57

I actually still email our course leader for advice and DD is 18 months! She's always happy to help. She runs a free weekly drop in session too in case you need a chat/catch up/moan. Natural births weren't pushed at all, we had all the options presented to us and talked through, with an entire session dedicated to pain relief.

noddingninja · 14/05/2015 08:14

I didn't bother when pregnant with DD as I resented the cost and I found a great council funded group called Musical Bumps (yoga, singing and active birth) through which I made many friends. One midwife said to me I could go to NCT classes if I "want to buy friends".

Having said that I know people who got a lot out of NCT and now I've relocated I might consider going if I have another DC (but I guess the majority of couples are expecting their first child).

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 14/05/2015 08:23

nodding I had just moved 250 miles away from home and most definitely did want to buy friends . Best money I've ever spent!

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 14/05/2015 08:25

One of the couples in our group were on their third child but had a big age gap between their first 2 and the third so said they'd forgotten everything!

Nellyinwellies · 14/05/2015 08:27

Didn't care for the classes much - take with a big pinch of salt - do not be sucked into the 'natural is the only way' message (v much depends on your class leader I believe).

However, I found my group to be invaluable in the first 6 months. And we still meet weekly now though our eldest are over four. I am not a fan of groups at all. And didn't enjoy the classes much but am so glad I stuck at it and carried on meeting up with them (my instincts always scream run away in social situations!) Of course we are not all 'besties' but I have made some good friends.

EducateTogetheralumnus · 14/05/2015 08:28

Best. Money. I. Ever. Spent.

Funnily enough, I was talking to one of them about the classes last week and she was saying that she wasn't much up for talking in groups either and she did indeed stay quiet for our first few sessions.

Don't know what's going to happen when the 1sts start school next year but I do know I've made friends for life.

EducateTogetheralumnus · 14/05/2015 08:28

Oh yes, and our classes were bonkers. Utterly bonkers.

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