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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you tell your parents you were pregnant?

47 replies

Bayswaterbelle · 10/05/2015 09:12

Hi, I'm 36 and 9+6 (first pregnancy) and it wasn't planned. We do want children and we knew we wanted this baby from about 3 minutes after I peed on the stick ;-) I think we're both excited and happy and freaking out all at once. I've spent the last few weeks getting my head around the changes coming and how I feel about everything. I've told a couple of close friends who are similar age, one of whom had problems getting and staying pregnant, thankfully now has 2 healthy children, so I think that may have coloured my thoughts a bit, but I was adamant I wasn't going to tell my parents until after 12 week scan because I wanted to wait until we saw a heartbeat. They aren't pushy but I know they want grandchildren and we've been married nearly 4 years.

However, tomorrow I'm going to be ten weeks and I have my booking in appointment with the midwife, and all I can think is how much I want my mum. I know some of this will be hormones - not loving the mood swings - but I've gone from thinking it would be selfish to tell her if things didn't work out, to now worrying that she'll be upset I didn't tell her earlier! I haven't seen her for about 3 weeks and she's been pretty busy, but do you think I should pick up the phone or would she rather know in person, when I see her in 2 weekends time - going down to stay with them for bank holiday weekend?

Sorry, I know I'm asking you all to be mind readers, I just feel like the same thoughts are going round my head and not getting anywhere.

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Snowflake15 · 10/05/2015 09:14

I told her and my dad a few days after I'd found out, I was probably 6 weeks. DP told his mum and dad straight away on the phone. If the worst did happen I think I'd tell them anyway you'd want their support so why not

Snowflake15 · 10/05/2015 09:15

It all depends how you want to do it - I'm more of a face to face person, whereas some people prefer to phone (I know this isn't helpful at all) but I wanted to see the look on their faces etc

LorryHen · 10/05/2015 09:16

I told my parents at 15 weeks after the scans and screening tests.

It is really just your preference, tell them whenever you feel comfortable.

Original poster

Bayswaterbelle · 10/05/2015 09:17

I really wanted to tell them both in person and I think I was worrying too much about the occasion being perfect. I could at a stretch call and ask them to come up for late lunch - at which point they might guess but be happy? I just don't know how much of this is hormones and what's real any more :-(

OP posts:

Gunpowder · 10/05/2015 09:19

It sounds to me like you want to tell your mum! It's not selfish to tell them now, I think 9/10 weeks is a really good time, the pregnancy is much more stable than at 5/6 weeks and it sounds like you would like her support.

Congratulations.

mrswishywashy · 10/05/2015 09:19

We just told our parents last night and I'm 14 weeks. I wanted to wait until after twelve week scan. We also are in a same sex relationship so it was quite a surprise to parents but we didn't want any one to know about IVF treatment as it really puts the pressure on. Both our sets of parents live on the other side of the world so we don't see them daily.

Original poster

Bayswaterbelle · 10/05/2015 09:22

Wow, I bet they were excited for you!! Must have been hard to wait that long.

OP posts:

LorryHen · 10/05/2015 09:29

I don't live near my parents either and ever since I did the test I just wanted to call my mum and tell her.

I waited until I had the chance in person and i didn't regret it. My mum and dad were thrilled and hugged us and had a cry and got to see the scan picture too as it was 15 weeks.

I'm not sure what it would have been like on the phone. Do you have the option to Skype? I told my nan over Skype and it was still lovely as I saw her reaction.

Koalafications · 10/05/2015 09:31

I told my DM at 7 weeks as we had had two early scans, and I needed her support.

I waited and told my DF later on at 12 weeks as we had lost a baby a months beforehand and my DF is quite a worrier and would have spent the whole time calling me to check I was ok and panicking about the scan if I had told him earlier.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 10/05/2015 09:33

I'm 7 weeks today, I told my mum as soon as I POAS

mrschatty · 10/05/2015 09:34

My mum was aware of our long term ttc (I was at m19) and told her as soon as I found out- like 4 weeks! If anything was to go wrong (fingers crossed not) I'd want my family around me! X

Iloveonionchutney · 10/05/2015 09:38

I told my parents at 10 weeks as we had an early scan, would have been after 12 week one but only because my mother can't keep her mouth shut! And as I expected by the time I went to tell everyone the family already all knew. I'd love to be able to tell her and have her keep the secret but she doesnt know the meaning of the word.

TheTravellingLemon · 10/05/2015 09:38

Both times about 5 minutes after my BFP . No way I could keep that from my mum and like a PP said, if anything went wrong , I'd need her with me.

shinysparklythings · 10/05/2015 09:40

I'm 10+1 and haven't to.d my mum or dad yet. My pil's know as we went on holiday together.

My mum lost her dad the week we found out and as she lives so far away I dont want to burden her if things go wrong.ni have my scan in 17 days and as soon as I know everything is fine I'll be on the blower.

My dad I think will be to enthusiastic, he never is. He loves me and is very supportive just rubbish at emotions so I think I will ring him straight after mum who will be thrilled.

Ineedtimeoff · 10/05/2015 09:43

I called my mum as soon as I had got that positive from POAS, which would have been at 6 weeks. It was such a joy to share that lovely time with her. I think I called and told her by phone.

Congratulations
if I were you I'd ask her to come up for lunch/diner and tell her ASAP

ch1134 · 10/05/2015 09:45

It's really personal so your choice but the first time I waited until after the 12 week scan. This time my mum guessed at 6 weeks and I really wish I hadn't told her. I don't feel pregnant and want to wait until I'm sure I am. And now she'll be telling people because she is like that. I'd rather no-one knew until 12 weeks.

airedailleurs · 10/05/2015 09:46

I made a card and stuck a copy of the first scan photo inside and sent it to my mum ...she loved it!

airedailleurs · 10/05/2015 09:47

...and congratulations OP, btw!

twirlypoo · 10/05/2015 09:50

I was at my mums house when I poas, and ran through to her bedroom to get her to check it for me as I couldn't believe what i was seeing!

I think you should tell your mum now, you want her to be a part of it, that's not selfish!

Congratulations

RubieGarnette · 10/05/2015 09:50

airedailleurs That's lovely! It's my mums b'day in 2 weeks and I'm planning on getting her a card that says ''happy bday grandma''. Might be a bit too early to be calling her nana though.

InQuiteAPickle · 10/05/2015 09:52

1st pregnancy - the day I found out but sadly I miscarried.

With 2nd pregnancy I was worried that I had jinxed my 1st pregnancy by telling people so I told my mum after my 12 week scan.

3rd pregnancy I didn't tell my mum at all - DD1 told her! I think I was about 6 weeks.

Congratulations .

Original poster

Bayswaterbelle · 10/05/2015 09:52

Thanks everyone, I think I'm going to give them a call and see what their plans are for next few days. My mum is very discreet so if I ask her to keep quiet until after 12w scan she will.

I guess the other reason for telling her today is that I was trying to make notes on family medical history etc for the midwife tomorrow and keep thinking I should check things with her.

OP posts:

airedailleurs · 10/05/2015 09:54

yes Rubie she said she had to sit down when she saw the card! I was over 40 when it happened and my DS will not be having children so I think she had resigned herself to never having grandchildren!

RubieGarnette · 10/05/2015 10:15

How sweet :)

Gillian1980 · 10/05/2015 10:22

My dad has had a running commentary, poor guy!

"We're trying for a baby"
"Why is nothing happening"
"I think I might be pregnant, I'm going to do a test"
"Omg it's positive!"
Etc etc.

We're very close and my mum died a long time ago. I knew she had complicated births and wanted to know as much as possible from dad. Also, had anything bad happened I would need his support so I wanted him to know straight away.

With MIL we waited until we'd had an early scan and told her when we visited on Christmas Eve.

I don't think there's a right or a wrong time - it depends on your relationship with your parents, what support you may need etc etc.

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