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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

if you didn't find out the sex of baby no1

57 replies

chasingtherainbow · 08/05/2015 10:12

Did you find out with no2?

I absolutely loved not knowing with dd but this pregnancy is harder on me emotionally and dd will be four shortly before baby is born and is desperate to be heavily involved. I've a strong feeling that I actually want to know this time, but worry I'll regret it. This is our last baby and the surprise was so special as dh told me when dd wss born that I'll feel I ruined my last chance to have that surprise if you see what I mean.

I realise this is a bit silly. Humour me.. I've enough to actually worry about! Did you find out? Did you like knowing .. how was it in comparison?

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DragonboysMum · 08/05/2015 10:21

I found out with DS2. I wanted to know whether to keep all my boys stuff or buy new pink things! I liked knowing. It meant I could be more organised. We also had the name ready and DS1 started to talk to my bump by name which helped him I think.
I definitely wouldn't have found out with DS1 as I think with your first its all new and exciting. With subsequent pregnancies, it's still exciting but also I think you think differently and more practically.

Pilgrimforever · 08/05/2015 10:25

We couldn't with DC1 and 2 as hospital policy was not to tell.
We did find out with DC3,4 and 5 purely for the practical reasons of clothing and eventual bedroom sharing plus it was just nice to know although we would have found out with our 1st 2 as well if we could have.

DinkyDye · 08/05/2015 10:27

Yes I found out with DC2 for the same reason as Dragon and do agree with her other points, and I'm glad. I've got LOADS of DD's stuff that is in perfect condition and I wanted to know did I need to bring it out and wash it or give it away.

I wondered if I'd regret it too but I was absolutely convinced DC1 was a DD from around 10 weeks that it felt like I already knew. This time I didn't really have a strong feeling apart from a dream where DD1 was playing with her sister. And the blood test confirmed that!

I've known for 5 weeks and I don't regret it. It means we can concentrate on name picking, getting things sorted etc. I don't have the same energy I did with DD so this feels like the best thing to do

Graciescotland · 08/05/2015 10:32

I didn't find out for DC1 and 2 but we did for DC 3 and 4 (twins) as we felt we needed to have a chance to be organised. It doesn't make it any less special do whatever works for you.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 08/05/2015 10:45

Im not finding out with DC2. But DS was emcs and I didn't really get that finding out moment with him as he was taken off to be checked (premature) with me shouting 'what is it?'. I'd like to have what you've described OP this time.
Small age gap here but I appreciate with older DCs you might want to tell them sister or brother, my DS is too young to realise what's happening

Original poster

chasingtherainbow · 08/05/2015 11:07

I was utterly convinced my dd was a boy right up until I was about to push and I just thought.... its not a boy.. its not a boy?!?

This time I can't envision another girl. I'd love to have a boy or a girl and I genuinely have no preference but again feel so strongly that it's a boy. . Given how strongly I felt with dd I don't trust my own judgment

My husbands side of the family especially wouldn't want to know. I am bloody rubbish at secret keeping and don't want that pressure either!

Funnily enough I feel if we found out it was a boy I'd be v excited and glad we found out.. if it is a girl I think I might regret not waiting? I can't fully explain why. . I think because a boy would be a big thing (so far all our siblings have had 2 children each of the same sex.. so to have a boy and a girl would be a surprise!) But another girl would just be this lovely, comfortable thing that we already know.. having had almost 4 years of girl in the house

I'm not explaining myself well and I'm sure I sound silly.

OP posts:

Hophop987 · 08/05/2015 11:15

We decided not to find out with No2. I loved the extra bit of the excitement the first time so wanted the same again.

AmberLav · 08/05/2015 13:00

We didn't find out with Ds or with DD.

DH doesn't want me to find out with DC3 (I thought about it for planning purposes) in case something goes wrong! I'm happy to wait again...

seaoflove · 08/05/2015 13:04

We didn't.

I was tempted, because I love to plan and wanted to know whether we'd be reusing a ton of girl's clothes, but DH didn't want to know.

I'm glad now. CS is booked for next week and it's going to be a lovely surprise again.

SillyBub · 08/05/2015 13:06

I didn't with DS or DD. I loved having the surprise at the end.

meglet · 08/05/2015 13:10

yes for baby no 2.

It was lovely finding out tbh.

Bobian123 · 08/05/2015 13:11

I didn't find out with DS but did this time as, like other posters, I wanted to feel prepared and organised.

I was a bit worried that it would take away the thrill a bit but I burst into happy tears during my scan when she announced its a girl (would have been equally ecstatic with a boy!!). So I still felt I got that special moment.

Buttwing · 08/05/2015 13:11

I didn't find out with the first three and always thought I wouldn't ever want to know but when I found out I was pregnant with dc4 I had a small preference for a boy only because dc3 was boy (dc 1 and 2 girls) and I thought it would be lovely for him to have a brother as there would only be 13 months between them. I had to have extra growth scans which I mainly went to on my own so at 28 weeks I secretly found out I didn't tell a soul not even dp.
I would have loved another girl too but I just felt a really strong urge to find out. I found out it was boy and I didn't regret finding out at all :)

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 08/05/2015 13:13

Just to add because I didn't find out with DS the majority of his early clothes are unisex, and he or she will be in my room for the first 6 months at least (possibly longer, I love them in my room) so I don't have the planning purposes that others do. I tend to buy clothes as they need them these days too (after having loads of t shirts for a very cold May!) so I'll get girl stuff if needed as and when, although a lot of DS's stuff would be fine for a girl.
All the best OP, whatever you decide it'll be lovely

Orangeisthenewbanana · 08/05/2015 13:14

Trying to decide this at the moment. Last time it was me that definitely didn't want to find out, and DH was not that bothered either way (so we didn't). This time, he wants a surprise again, and I am more tempted to find out. Think he feels more strongly about it though, so we probably won't!

Although I hadn't considered that it might be easier for DD if she knows exactly what to expect . Oh well, we've got plenty of time to decide......

Mummybear8 · 08/05/2015 16:18

I found out with #2 for the same reasons as others, reusing outfits and organisation. But also my little girl who is nearly 7 is so excited and wanted to know if she was having a brother or sister. We couldn't find out the first time because the cord was between her legs but the surprise was lovely

MissCalamity · 08/05/2015 20:19

No, we didn't. I was a bit tempted but wanted the surprise.
We had a neutral bedroom, moses basket & clothes from DS.
I just remember that feeling of being handed DC2 after birth and checking between her legs I feel like I would have been robbed of that feeling already knowing.

LemonYellowSun · 08/05/2015 20:24

I didn't on either. I loved not knowing and think it is one of the loveliest parts of being pregnant. Magical mystery of life

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 08/05/2015 20:25

Didn't with DD, have with this one (another DD, currently 32 weeks pregnant).
Although it was lovely not knowing with DD, after 48 hours in labour with just gas and air and no sleep I actually found the 'it's a girl' moment a bit of an anti climax! I was exhausted and just glad the baby was out and healthy.
Found out this time for a few reasons:
DH really, really wanted to both times. I got my way last time, he got his way this time.
Practical reasons- we have bags and bags of girls clothes put away from DD.
This pregnancy was unplanned and I felt guilty about it. Also felt like I was struggling to bond.

I've absolutely loved knowing this time round

mewkins · 08/05/2015 20:28

We were going to....but didn't as went through some tricky tests etc before the 20wk scan. It felt like the least important thing after all that. We were just so relieved to see a healthy baby squirming away.

Missmidden · 08/05/2015 20:45

We didn't with DD1 but did with DD2. Only reason was that DD1 was nearly 4 when we told her I was pregnant and she could not contemplate the idea of a brother at all- it had to be a girl! So we found out in case it was a boy so she would have plenty of time to come to terms with it. As it happened all was well!

PannaDoll · 08/05/2015 20:59

All of my baby things for DD1 were gender neutral (primary colours mostly) so the 'preparing' thing is irrelevant for me. I don't do pink or blue babies. My 2nd is due in a few weeks and I asked not to be told but the sonographer gave the game away and I'll be welcoming another non pink baby girl shortly.

I was disappointed at knowing at the scan but am sort of enjoying knowing now and seem to have settled on a name etc already.

I don't think you'll necessarily regret your choice either way.

Runnaway · 08/05/2015 21:03

Did not find out either time. Loved DH telling me. Also you know the sex forever so it is only 'new' once. I wanted it to be mine and DH's secret for a while before he did all the family calls. Must admit to not finding it as exciting when friends find out. I like the guessing.

33goingon64 · 08/05/2015 21:14

Didn't find out with DS and won't this time (due in 11 weeks). The amazing surprise on the birth day shouldn't be any less exciting second time around - what a shame to think that! I don't need to be 'organised' about having DC2. Our newborn clothes were unisex and I wouldn't put a girl in pink anyway.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 08/05/2015 21:15

I'm the same Runnaway I even had a friend that had chosen the name too, and I knew when her elcs was, so the announcement was basically the weight, not very exciting!
Obviously it's not all about me though but I confess to liking a surprise

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