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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

if you didn't find out the sex of baby no1

57 replies

chasingtherainbow · 08/05/2015 10:12

Did you find out with no2?

I absolutely loved not knowing with dd but this pregnancy is harder on me emotionally and dd will be four shortly before baby is born and is desperate to be heavily involved. I've a strong feeling that I actually want to know this time, but worry I'll regret it. This is our last baby and the surprise was so special as dh told me when dd wss born that I'll feel I ruined my last chance to have that surprise if you see what I mean.

I realise this is a bit silly. Humour me.. I've enough to actually worry about! Did you find out? Did you like knowing .. how was it in comparison?

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Runnaway · 08/05/2015 21:18

abbey My friend is preg with third now. We spend ages together imagining what her new family will be like if she has a boy or a girl. It's so exciting! There are not many real surprises for grown ups!!!

scrivette · 08/05/2015 21:20

Didn't find out with DS and haven't found out with this one.
I always say you don't get many surprises in life so didn't want to find out.

Doilooklikeatourist · 08/05/2015 21:23

We didn't find out either time ( DS is 20 and they didn't tell you then )
First time , I was sure I was having a boy as I have 2 sisters ,each with 2 boys , and I just knew

Was delighted though as was my mum with her 5th grandson

2nd time , I really wanted a girl
Really wanted to know , but didnt find out

DH still remembers me screaming out " its a girl "
My parents both cried

my sisters are still jealous

Have a surprise , why not

GreenFeathers · 08/05/2015 21:51

Didn't find out either time... I really wanted to during my pg with dc2 as I had a strong preference... But in hindsight I am glad I didn't. There aren't many surprises in life!

GreenFeathers · 08/05/2015 22:03

Fwiw I didn't get my preference, but I didn't care when I held him in my arms (really wanted my dd to have a sister) and was so glad I hadn't found out and felt any 'disappointment' in my pregnancy.

DinoSnores · 08/05/2015 22:15

pannadoll, are you sure that the sonographer gave the game away? Sometimes they just say "he" or "she" to avoid using "it" about the baby! I'm with you though. I don't do colour-coded babies either and haven't found out for my 4DC.

DinkyDye · 08/05/2015 22:40

Why do some poster's have to dig l don't do colour coded babies

A stupid phrase but I didn't colour code my baby either, l bought all neutral colours but other people bought pink/purple and very girly outfits for dd when she was born. And l really appreciated the effort they went to.

PannaDoll · 08/05/2015 23:25

Dino yes I'm quite sure :-) My babies are donor conceived and she asked me whether they shared a father. I told her they did and she responded 'ah, so they will be sisters... or brother and sister or whatever'

Dye I wouldn't have appreciated a load of pink frilly gifts so I'm grateful that my friends and family took the time to choose lovely bright baby clothes that matched my choices.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 09/05/2015 07:54

Oh you don't colour code your babies? I obviously found out the sex so I could tattoo them pink and dye their hair purple and glittery. FFS.
All my newborn stuff is neutral, as we didn't know the sex first time round. However friends and family bought us lots of beautiful gifts when she was born and immediately after for Xmas which I wouldn't dream of rejecting on the basis that they weren't gender neutral.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/05/2015 08:01

We found out with dc2 as DD was insistant it was a girl. As it was it was a boy so she was onboard after a few weeks.

We dont want a third, however if an accident happens I wouldnt find out with dc3.

cece · 09/05/2015 08:08

I didn't find out with any of my 3 DC and have no regrets about it.

Gunpowder · 09/05/2015 08:37

I didn't find out with either.

First time I was a bit out of it and was just pleased we'd both got through it, but I caught DD2 myself (water birth) and it was magical being the first one to touch her and know she was a girl. It would have been nice to have prepared DD1 for her little sister though (she wanted a brother.)

Gr33dyeggs · 09/05/2015 17:20

Hi chasing. I'm wondering this too as our 6yo ds is after a brother so I'm wondering whether to find out to help him. My fear is they can get it wrong!

GlitzAndGigglesx · 09/05/2015 17:25

I didn't find out with dd who is 4 now but I've found out this time. She regularly talks about her sisters being in my tummy eating my food and points out toys she'd like to buy for them. She's even said she'll share her new bed with them!! I'm glad I found out as I don't think it's as confusing for her

pearlgirl · 09/05/2015 17:36

We found out with dc4 - mainly I think because I wanted to be able to plan and deal with other people's expectations. During most of my pregnancy people were asking if we were hoping for a girl this time as we already had 3 boys and I wanted to know so that I was prepared for any comments when the baby appeared.

Christelle2207 · 10/05/2015 08:59

Was convinced ds1 was a boy and was right though didn't "find out". Had no idea re ds2 though found out for practical reasons at 20 weeks. Currently 39 weeks and don't regret it. However the main reason for finding out this time was to give us more time to agree on a name (and concentrate on just the one list IYKWIM) as it was a nightmare for ds1. One week to go and we're further behind than we were last time when we didn't know the sex for sure!

Luciferbox · 10/05/2015 09:01

I did. I hope it will help prepare DS1 as he now knows he's having a little brother. I also thought it might help me pick out a name. But I've got 11 wks left and we have no idea what to call DS2.

ivykaty44 · 10/05/2015 09:18

I didn't find out with either baby, and it was lovely as dd1 came into the delivery suite and bathed baby when she was born so was really heavily involved from the start.

Sleepyfergus · 10/05/2015 09:24

I didn't find out either times and loved that it was a total guessing game right up till they were born.

I PERSONALLY feel that people who find out (medical reasons aside) are impatient. If we were meant to know, we've have window in our belly. But this is just my opinion and each to their own.

Cockadoodledooo · 10/05/2015 09:44

We did with dc2 - mainly because ds1 wanted to know if he was going to be a big brother or a big sister

starlight36 · 10/05/2015 09:51

We didn't find out with either. Some relatives were quite frustrated with us as they were desperate to know! Our DD had just turned two so hadn't really expressed a wish either way for whether she wanted a brother or sister. As we hadn't found out the first time we had lots of neutral newborn clothes / bedding etc.

chasingtherainbow · 10/05/2015 09:56

Unfortunately we don't have lots of neutral stuff, dd was born conveniently 6 months after close friends had a girl and boy themselves so I had a draw of pink and a draw of blue hand me downs and a little section of neutral to tide us over the first week or so.. when she came and was a girl I just gave back the blue! most of it. I love blue

This time we have dds left over stuff but no one ready to move their boy stuff on so I'll need to nip out and buy some neutral essentials.

I've realised I've already convinced myself it's a boy.. no idea why. Not sure what to do about that!

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VashtaNerada · 10/05/2015 09:57

I did because FIL was terminally ill and it was nice for him to be able to visualise the baby (of course that's nonsense because gender has little affect on personality but it was helpful for him). I think it's nicer not to find out if you can, apart from anything else it stops well-meaning relatives from buying sexist crap before the poor thing's even born!

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 10/05/2015 10:52

I PERSONALLY feel that people who find out (medical reasons aside) are impatient. If we were meant to know, we've have window in our belly

Luckily being impatient is not a crime .
There are only 2 options, it's never going to be the surprise of the century!

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 10/05/2015 11:10

I know 3 friends that found out at 20 weeks and at birth found out the opposite. Now that is the surprise of the century
2 didn't mind, 1 (that had 3 boys) had gone full on pink nursery and accessories!

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