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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How do you feel about people commenting on your size when you are pregnant?

54 replies

FiftyShadesOfGreen4205 · 22/04/2015 08:49

I'm five months pregnant with second child. This time around I've gained more weight, I'm retaining more water and I started showing sooner. I'm not, in my opinion, too big bump-wise but I'm not neat and tidy like Kate Middleton by a long shot. Generally, I feel pretty low about how I look at the moment and I'm eating healthy food in order to keep further weight gain at a healthy level.

Anyway, despite me telling my MIL, SIL, BIL that I don't like my body shape being discussed, they continue with (recent examples):

Oh my God I can't believe how big you are.

That must be a seriously big baby

You're only halfway there are and already you are HUGE.

Anyway. I'm aware that I'm hormonal and probably over sensitive, but tell me, would this upset you? (It's every fucking time they see me).

I'm also aware they talk about my size among themselves.

It really pisses me off and makes me feel like I'm some kind of subhuman baby vessel a la handmaid's tale.

But then again I could be overreacting. Hard to say really, I cried at Dumbo yesterday.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mojo17 · 22/04/2015 12:54

Pissed me off no end when I was pg
How about getting one of those logo t shirts with something saying no comments please I'm gestating
Or
Fuck off
Really get your dh to tell them off, and warn them you won't want to be spending a lot if time with people who insult you so will be cutting that down and that might include when after the baby is born
Let that sink in

MagentaOeuflon · 22/04/2015 13:03

I was huge, I mean HUGE in both pregnancies and I've heard it all.

"Are you actually having that baby this afternoon!? Surely you can't GET any more pregnant than that!"

"OMG you are huge, is it twins?"
"No."
"Are you SURE? Come on, it must be twins. Or triplets."

"You will NEVER lose that much baby weight!" (I did actually)

Tbh I stopped caring and just found it amusing but I understand if you've had enough of it OP.

I agree that personal remarks about the other person right back are a good way to shut them up. It might be kind to ask them nicely to stop talking about it first – if you feel inclined! Then if they don't, it's out with the "Hmmm really? Oh well, I guess I won't be pregnant forever but you'll still be rude and have those wrinkles too/that haircut/face like a bulldog chewing a thistle" (amend as appropriate).

opalsandsilver · 22/04/2015 13:05

Tell them they should learn not to make personal remarks. It's very rude.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 22/04/2015 13:14

Livid mostly. I had too much water with DD2 so I got it a lot. I even raised a formal complaint against a colleague for shouting are you having triplets across the staff canteen at me. Tell them to fuck off.

alphabetacreature · 22/04/2015 14:30

It's so infuriating op. Though my grandmother did ask me who ate all the pies today. I'm 40 weeks, had a pre pregnant bmi of 22 & feel horrific. It wasn't what I needed to hear

MistressKatherine · 22/04/2015 15:02

I loathe any comments. So came up with a good response which I LOVE using on people. Works a treat.

With me it always seems to be middle aged men with a belly who say "God you're getting big". To which I reply with an evil smirk "yeah when's yours due?". They hate it. And I love it.

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 22/04/2015 15:13

I get comments that im huge. But I am, so it doesn't really bother me? It's not like they're telling me I'm morbidly obese, I'm just very very pregnant

Fattycow · 22/04/2015 15:52

It does upset me!

I have started responding with 'according to the midwife, I am the perfect size'. That usually shuts them up. If not, I continue with 'I am so glad you are pointing out that I look enormous, that does wonders for my self-esteem'.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 22/04/2015 17:49

It bothers me too, usually because when MIL says it she's implying I'm too big and there must be an issue.

Mslad · 22/04/2015 18:09

It bothers me because every time (which is a lot) strangers tell me how huge my bump is, and how I couldn't possibly have another 3 weeks to go, I begin to panic a little about the birth. It's my first and I'm quite anxious about the labour, so it's becoming a constant reminder of could my big baby mean an extra painful labour, tears etc. I think people really should have more sense and be more sensitive to how pregnant women feel.

thechinaclogs · 22/04/2015 18:36

Hugs and sympathy to you OP and the other women struggling with this.

I'm not feeling particularly down about my size, but am so fed up with people commenting on my body all the time. I saw my in laws this weekend and within about three seconds my MIL had groped my stomach, diagnosed my child as a boy and reassured my husband that I'd gained no weight "on the back". My idiot brother in law called me "fatty" and when picked up on it argued that he couldn't see what the problem was, since the weight wasn't on my bum or legs. I just couldn't believe that he thought it was appropriate to comment on my body at all.

boatrace30 · 22/04/2015 19:00

I can also empathise. So fed up of people telling me I look like "I'm about to drop" or "Should you still be at work?" (I'm 33 weeks and measuring bang on!) Or the worst "sure there are not two in there".
MIL makes a comment everytime I see her too... well meaning, but unhelpful (e.g. "Are you sure you can fit behind that table..." well yes I can I am not an elephant!!)

Honestly - what do they expect when I have a baby in there!!

iwasyoungonce · 22/04/2015 19:05

I didn't mind at all. I enjoyed being pregnant, and enjoyed being "allowed" to be fat. I was a bit overweight before I got pregnant though, so maybe this is why. I also had 4 MCs, so I think I was just so happy to be pregnant and relished in all comments about it.

I have duly noted all feelings expressed on this thread though and will never comment on a woman's bump again.

lilmisslibrarian · 22/04/2015 19:45

I totally understand. I am 32 weeks with my first and the comments range from 'aren't you tidy/neat' to 'wow you are huge! And you still have ages to go!'
I do try and smile through it but I find it quite triggering as I have had a history of disorderd eating in the past and it has taken me a long time to get used to just eating normally as it isn't just for me but for the baby too.
I did lose my cool one day when a car salesman suggested now that I was pregnant I would need a bigger car with bigger doors to get into and I told him I wasn't pregnant I was just fat!

Paperblank · 22/04/2015 21:41

One of my colleagues has recently had a baby and from the moment she announced her pregnancy, another colleague made comment after comment about the size of her bump, how absolutely huge she was (she wasn't at all) blah blah blah.

In the end I said look you're going to have to reign these comments in. By all means tell her she looks amazing (she did!) but calling her "fatty" and feeling her bump is out of order.

I get very protective over pregnant women - my dsis is currently in her third trimester and she feels like crap. Our bloody mother keeps making stupid remarks about my dsis's size which makes her feel worse.

I'm going to go and live on a desert island when I fall pregnant to avoid these sorts of comments!

Glittermoo · 23/04/2015 13:42

As a previous sufferer of an eating disorder I am generally finding my changing body shape quite difficult to deal with, I am now 32 weeks and feel huge! Not helped by comments from DH's nan saying 'look at the size of your bottom it's huge'. She doesn't know about the eating disorder but just some general manners would be appreciated! Pregnancy should not equal public property.

Sid77 · 23/04/2015 13:46

Next time they say something, reply with "oh, thank you, what a nice thing to say - that's made me feel really good about myself"

stubbornstains · 23/04/2015 13:54

The other day, I had: "My god, you've got big...are you sure it's not twins in there?"......from my MIDWIFE!! (34 weeks, so I've had both my scans).

I have a terrible feeling she and I are about to fall out.....

luckiestgirlintheworld · 23/04/2015 14:12

I personally can't see the problem. I love it when people tell me I'm getting massive. I am. I'm growing a baby. A big healthy baby.
If they thought you looked horrible and fat they wouldn't mention it.

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 23/04/2015 14:19

if they thought you looked horrible and fat they wouldn't mention it

You've obviously never met my MIL

gaggiagirl · 23/04/2015 14:34

Here here luckiest
Although I could have wept at work this week when I snapped 'all right. You've made your point' after the barrage of "youre huge" "are you sure its not twins" etc comments turned into having a pop at what I was wearing. Cunts. apparently if I wear what I wear its no wonder people comment.

Droflove · 23/04/2015 16:53

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Its the truth isn't it? Its not permanent! Its also not something I did so when someone has said 'gosh you're big' I always say something like 'I KNOW! Feel like an elephant, time for baby to get out I think!'. Its just conversation. God! you can't say anything to (some) pregnant ladies without it causing offence! People need to chill out and stop being so INDIGNANT about everything.

Seriously, nobody is trying to 'get' at you. And if they are, then they are just not nice people so that is more their problem (being a dickhead is far worse than having a big bump) than yours.

Just my opinion.

laurenlhthompson · 23/04/2015 17:00

It doesn't usually bother me but my O jokingly called me fat the other day (and I don't condone violence) but I hit him with my shoe it drove me to rage.

I don't think people mean to be horrible thought but I can understand how it can touch a nerve.

Fattycow · 23/04/2015 20:30

I ran into one of DH's aunts today. She told me I was huge for my dates. I replied by saying: 'actually, no. I measure bang on for my dates'. I was with my mum and she added: 'she is a petite girl, so the baby has little room on the inside. So her bump is going outwards a lot, as there just isn't room anywhere else'.

gaggiagirl · 23/04/2015 20:45

Hurray for fattys mam!

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