Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Being judged just because it's my 4th baby

33 replies

3rdbump · 13/04/2015 18:23

Really hacked off!
Am 34 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby.
Eldest being 11, 10 then 2.
I am 34 in July. In the same relationship for 13 years, 2 successful businesses both me and my oh work hard. We live in a nice area etc yet my mum has just given me a lecture about how I will be ruining my life if I have anymore babies, how am now too old to be having babies and how much of a life I won't have after this one is born?!!
Hello? It's my choice how many kids I have and if I have another (which I am not planning on) then it's my bloody choice!
I hate being judged because I have 3 kids and pregnant with our 4th. we're not claiming benefits etc so what the hell has it got to do with anyone how many kids we have?? other people have made digs too I don't normally say anything but am going to bite if one more person says anything!!

Anyone else have this shit??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mountainofdreams · 13/04/2015 18:28

Hi 3rd bump.
I am only on my first pregnancy so I haven't experienced such judgement however I just want to say try not to listen to them.
Far too many people have an opinion on things that do not affect them in any way.
Well done on being a successful, self sufficient mama in a happy relationship.
Sod the rest of them!

FernGullysWoollyPully · 13/04/2015 18:28

Me!!

This is my fifth baby. And actually the only one my mum's congratulated me on. All the others it's been assumed that I'm ruining my life, when will I stop etc etc.

I completely sympathise with you but try to let it wash over you. You're right it's nobody's business so don't give them the satisfaction of being pissed off.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 13/04/2015 18:30

I hear you. Ignored them and after a bit they stopped

OinkBalloon · 13/04/2015 18:35

I had this shit when I was pg with dc3, because I already had one of each! Apparently going for a third would have been understandable had I already had two of the same. Understandable, but foolish. Oh yes, and I was really getting too old for this nonsense.

Two of the people who had this attitude are no longer part of my life. The third I felt that I could not cut out, so I just smiled and nodded, smiled and nodded, and eventually she shut up.

Prats.

pollypocket99 · 13/04/2015 18:40

Too old?!! I'm 35 and have not even had my first - I hope to one day, when I meet the right person!

Springtimemama · 13/04/2015 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gillian1980 · 13/04/2015 18:45

People love to judge - ignore them! Easier said than done I know.

I'm 35 and this is my first baby and have had loads of comments about how old I am for a first time mum - cheeky wotsits.

I have 2 friends the same age as me with 6 kids each - they get a lot of stick. But it seems that you can't win either way.

Too young, too old, too many kids, stick for having an only child.... It just goes on and on.

sighbynight · 13/04/2015 18:46

When I had my 4th, my family thought a series of contraceptively inept feckless parent jokes would be a good idea. I have since forgiven the bastards.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 13/04/2015 18:54

Get your answers ready now.

Dh has had disparaging comments from mates too. His standard answer (God love him) is "yeah, it's because my wife is such a good shag'

My favourite is in reply to the don't you have a TV comment
"Yes we do, we use it to watch porn"

anxiousannie10 · 13/04/2015 18:58

I'm 37 and pregnant with my second and last child, my family were against me having more, like its their right to choose for me. Not had any comments about my age yet but I know plenty of women older than me having babies. You get prejudice everywhere for everything you do. If you're happy stuff the rest.

Original poster

3rdbump · 13/04/2015 19:10

Brilliant thewomantheycalljayne!!

Thanks everyone. Just fed up of the snide comments we get!! Especially off my mum.

OP posts:

Ratfinkandbobo · 13/04/2015 19:11

Ha ha 34! Some women not had first by that age!!
I ha&e 4 dc's
#1 at 19
#2 at 22
Twins at 39
All of my siblings said I was mad, plus most of my friends!
Take no notice, I love having a large family, and so will you

scarednoob · 13/04/2015 19:12

here you go... this should fix it!

www.earplugstore.com/sleeping-ear-plugs.html

sorry you are having to listen to such garbage. you will have an amazing family and everyone who is complaining about something that is none of their business now will be besotted when the bean arrives!

samsswampy · 13/04/2015 19:13

Dont take any notice of what anyone says, 34 is definitely not old, I had DD no. 4 when I was 39! I would have had her sooner but worried about being judged so after no. 3 thought I should stop, only I never felt happy as I had 2 boys and 1 girl and I always wanted 2 girls! When DS no. 3 got to 5 i thought would try once more and not care what anyone said and I'm so glad I did! Even after first 2 people said you've got 1 of each so don't need any more and after 4th one lady even said are you going to be steralised now!

KittyandTeal · 13/04/2015 19:19

Bloody hell, I hope a baby at 34 isn't ruining your life. I'd like another and I'm 33 this year.

It totally your choice. I don't have 4 so no experience but what an odd thing for people to judge you on or tell you off about.

Congratulations on your 4th bump, soon to be baby :)

Skiptonlass · 13/04/2015 19:26

I'm older than you and just having my first....:)

If you love them, you can support them and you're happy and healthy, I suggest that your critics can kindly sod off. Congratulations!

heatherxo · 13/04/2015 20:16

I'm the 3rd youngest of 9! My mother's youngest born when she was 39. Take no notice, its your choice how many children you want/have!

PixieChops · 13/04/2015 20:46

I admire you a choir achievements OP. I'm pregnant with my second and my 1st is only just coming up to 11 months. Ive struggled because I didn't have a job to go back to after my maternity leave and for the first time in my life (worked since I was 13) Ive had to claim benefits. It's horrible and its demeaning but it's the only way we can survive at the moment. DP works for himself but in his line of work it's feast or famine.
I know that I'll probably be out of work for another year yet however Im trying to better myself by finishing a degree and doing some online courses which will help me find work easier when the time comes. In an ideal world I would have had a career set in place before becoming pregnant but life doesn't always work the way you want it to.
I think you're doing a fab job and sod what anyone else thinks.

cherrypez · 13/04/2015 21:57

I'm having my 8th. Haven't had any outright judging (to my face haha) but I think most people are reasonably polite. I feel the same as you...we both work bloody hard in full time jobs to pay for our kids and they are all loved equally and well behaved, decent people.
Looking at the ages of yours, OP, I think you're doing the right thing having a little playmate for no3

bigfam · 13/04/2015 22:02

I'm 25 and had my 4th 11 weeks ago.

Been with my partner 10 years, and he has his own successful business.

Buttwing · 13/04/2015 22:21

Ignore them it's your life and your family. My mum was didn't even congratulate me when I told her I was having a fourth. I have a small gap between 3 and 4 so get funny looks because of that I found out I was pregnant again when dc3 was 14 weeks old. I now have a 9year old, a four year old, 18 month old and a 5 month old. When I'm out with them all I get so many comments not all of them nice but I also get lots of compliments about how well behaved they are.

Congratulations having four is great, hard work but lots of fun :)

iniquity · 13/04/2015 22:23

Well I'm pg with my second and my mum has suggested I get sterilised after this one!
She doesn't like babies very much apparently.

Stinkersmum · 13/04/2015 22:44

Too old??? I'm turning 40 next month and am currently 13 weeks pregnant with my first. Your mum sounds like a bit of a moobag.

whothefuckhas5children · 14/04/2015 08:01

If I got a smart response (have you no tv, do you know what's causing it etc etc) I just tell them "did you mean to be so rude? The polite response is congratulations."

No ones business but your own. We will have 5 children next month and oldest is only 7!! We get some comments but we are happy

kristine007 · 14/04/2015 10:08

I'm 33 and pregnant with my second kid and my in-laws told my husband to get a snip :)))
If we had 3 or more- they would, probably disown us :))

Flip

1 2