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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Am I worrying for nothing- 12 week scan

50 replies

rosy189 · 04/04/2015 16:01

Hello,

I posted this on the AIBU board but I'm not sure it was the right place for it,

Basically (and I'm sure you have heard this all before) but I'm seriously worried about my 12 week scan next week.

This is my first pregnancy, planned, wanted (badly) and we are really happy, but I can't shake this nagging feeling that healthy pregnancies and babies are just somethings that happen to other people. I have had a good pregnancy up til now, plenty of symptoms and no bleeding. But we have never heard our baby's heartbeat or even seen the baby. I keep fixating on what could be wrong.

I do suffer from a bit of anxiety, especially around medical tests, and we have had pregnancies in the family in recent years that all ended in miscarriage, they were very public pregnancies too (everyone in the family knew about them and were fussy and excited) only to be snatched away. We haven't told anyone we are expecting for fear of it happening to us.

I feel bad because everyone says this should be an exciting, special time and I can't do anything but worry and want to hide away :( .

I thought I would be ok if I made it to this point but then I learned about MMC and thought- what could be more cruel? you survive all this time and then you get to your scan and everything falls apart.. it just seems unbearable.

I wish I could be more relaxed about it...

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ToriB34 · 04/04/2015 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HazleNutt · 04/04/2015 16:24

I've convinced they will tell me "Sorry but…" every single time I've had a scan, and it's my second pregnancy. It's normal. In most cases, they will tell you that everything is just fine.

Original poster

rosy189 · 04/04/2015 16:24

Thank you so much for replying-

you are right, its my biggest fear and I seem to see them everywhere- it doesn't help that as soon as I see a discussion about them I click on it and read the horror stories.

The bravery of the unlucky ladies who have experienced this is just amazing, I said to my hubby I dont know what I will do if it happens and he is really supportive.

It doesnt help that we have had very sad losses in the family and no babies yet, their are no grandchildren or great grandchildren and I know everyone really wants to see a healthy baby born into the family. maybe thats why I feel overly scared about the result..

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TheWhiteRoad · 04/04/2015 16:29

It's normal to be worried. But if you've made it to 11 weeks with no bleeding or cramping then the chances are that everything will be fine.

I hope you have a lovely scan next week

Original poster

rosy189 · 04/04/2015 16:46

Thank you I will keep you all posted,

Ive had some cramps mostly in my back but I think they are more to do with the way I slept!

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Fallinggracefully · 04/04/2015 16:52

Rosy are you on the October 15 antenatal group? If not, come join us. Lots and lots of ladies all in a similar position. It's a very friendly and supportive bunch. We'd love to see you there.

Original poster

rosy189 · 04/04/2015 16:56

Fallinggracefully aw no I'm not, I'm new to mumsnet and still trying to find everything but I would love to join the group!

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hotchocforme · 04/04/2015 17:01

Being pregnant is scary and I am not surprised that you are worried after what's happened in your family. But the signs for you are good. I will be thinking of you and I hope it goes really well for the scan and the rest of your pregnancy.

Original poster

rosy189 · 04/04/2015 17:09

hotchocforme oh thank you so much, Im really glad my hubby will be there with me, hes really positive and excited and rarely worries, im the opposite!

xxx

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batfish · 04/04/2015 18:43

rosy I have been exactly the same and I'm usually very laid back! I am 13 weeks and have had 3 scans now - at my 3rd scan I was slightly less worried than at previous scans but at the first 2 I was 99% convinced I would be given bad news (despite having a heartbeat at the first scan). I had rehearsed in my head how I would tell people and how I would react when I was given the news. I was amazed and so relieved when I was wrong. I have had no symptoms which have just made me think things had gone wrong.

However my baby seems to be hanging in there at 13 weeks and all is looking good. I don't really have any advice as such as no amount of people telling you it is fine will make you believe it - and statistics didn't particularly help me either as I came across so many sad stories of mmcs. I think my anxiety came from friends who had suffered losses - like you I have found it very difficult to imagine that I will be lucky enough to have a successful pregnancy.

But I am sure you will be fine, the first trimester is absolutely horrible for the stress and the waiting but you will get through it!

Original poster

rosy189 · 04/04/2015 18:47

Thanks so much for your reassurance batfish- our situations sound quite similar,

I think that I forget to focus on the positives, Im trying to protect myself from the disappointment, I have also rehearsed in my head how im going to tell the few people I have told that everything has gone wrong :(

I forget that even though two dear family members lost their babies, I have also seen many friends have healthy pregnancies and babies over the past year, I just find it so hard to believe that I could be one of them,

Im like you- I can't believe I have been lucky enough to even fall pregnant, let alone get up to this stage, I keep thinking that surely im not actually going to be lucky enough to have this baby!?

Im so glad your little one is doing well and Im sure it will continue like this for you, keep your fingers crossed for me!

xxx

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shelllike · 04/04/2015 18:48

It's totally normal to be anxious, but please do try and relax. It is far, far more likely that you'll go in and be told that everything is completely fine. As PPs have said, pregnancy can be hugely stressful, but if there are no signs that anything is wrong then that more than likely means that nothing is wrong. And I've had two MMCs!

Take care, you'll be grand. Do let us know how you get on.

Seasidedolly · 04/04/2015 18:48

Rosy I was exactly the same as you- and with my 20 week scan, even more so with that scan as it was so much more detailed. If you are anything like me you will be too scared to get excited and assume everything is fine in case it's not. You will be fine, I'm sure baby is developing just as it should be.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm TWO DAYS from my due date and still have the awful feeling of babies not happening for me, I still haven't accepted/ can't believe ill shortly be a mum.

Best of luck with your scan, you will enjoy it once you are in there x

OMC1 · 04/04/2015 18:50

Rosy, everyone is right - just try and relax and enjoy it. I know that's easier said than done, right?

I felt very similar to you at the start, but I'm now 21 weeks and -touch wood- all is still going really well.

Just look after yourself, listen to your body and I am sure you'll be fine

batfish · 04/04/2015 18:54

Thank you rosy - I will definitely keep my fingers crossed for you and I'm sure you will be sharing a lovely pic of your healthy baby in a couple of weeks.

I think I am actually starting to believe that things will be OK so I hope you will too after your scan. Although having said that I am finding it hard to link the scan pic to there being something in there, I can't quite believe it!

Original poster

rosy189 · 05/04/2015 06:43

Thanks so much for all your messages, I still can't quite believe we have been lucky enough to get this far and as no one close to me reached the 12 week scan, so I think that's why I'm having trouble believing it!

Seasidedolly- aw wow only two days away! I hope you have a peaceful, happy birth and I'm sure you have a lovely baby waiting to meet you! I'll be so relieved when I get to your stage!

Shelllike- I'm so sorry for your losses that must have been really hard to go through :( did you have normal pregnancy symptoms before your mmcs? I'm concerned as ive read plenty of accounts of ladies who have literally no idea anything had gone wrong, they had all the symptoms and nothing nasty! How on earth are we supposed to be reassured if this can happen!?

I will definitely share whatever news ee have on Wednesday, my appointment is early so at least I wont have to wait all day

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Ladypug · 05/04/2015 11:24

Hi Rosy,

I'm in exactly the same position so know you aren't alone. My scan is the day before you and I'm properly freaking out. I'm nuts anyway (terrified of having blood taken and terrified of being pregnant) so as you can imagine this is pushing me over the edge. I keep thinking baby won't be there but I'm just trying to think how good it will feel once scan is over (assuming baby is ok). I've had no bleeding or cramps so hopefully we're all ok but just wanted you to know how everyone feels the same and you aren't alone.

X ps do come and join the October antenatal board, we're a lovely bunch! :-)

Original poster

rosy189 · 05/04/2015 14:59

Ladypug

I'm super scared of needles and I always tell the midwives doing my blood tests before I go in so they make sure i don't see the needle! Otherwise I get panic attacks, I don't know why! I'm fine when they are doing it, if I see the needle I just freeze! Been that way since I was at school.
Ooh I really hope you have a good scan on Tuesday!

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freshlysharpenedpencils · 05/04/2015 15:03

I think this is pretty common because we are so aware nowadays of what could go wrong. I was terrified about scan - and it's my second pregnancy! I always think something awful is going to happen.

Chances are you'll be fine. Good luck OP

Ladypug · 05/04/2015 15:07

Rosy, I'm exactly the same but with blood, even the though of it! Once the tourniquet goes on I start freaking out and also get panic attacks so rest assured, we're in it together! I will let you know how Tuesday goes! X

Original poster

rosy189 · 05/04/2015 16:28

Ladypug- looking forward to hearing how your scan goes!

I think I will be more relaxed in the weeks leading up to the birth than I have been leading up to the scan its being horrible!

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mrshjb · 05/04/2015 20:07

I was so scared leading up to my 12 week scan. I spent so much time googling all the worst case scenario stories and convincing myself it would happen to me. I was so bad I was hyperventilating and crying on the morning of my scan. Everything was absolutely fine and I felt so stupid for getting worked up in to such a state. After the scan I promised myself I wouldn't Google anything else and it really helped to reduce my stress levels before my next scan. MMC do happen but as others have said it's so very rare. The odds really are in your favour! Good luck and enjoy seeing your baby :)

Sparrowlegs248 · 05/04/2015 20:59

Hi Rosy What you are feeling us entirely normal I think. I know just how you feel. I got my bfp after too long trying, and 3 days after my first fertility appointment. I have never known anxiety like it! The 2 weeks before my 12wk scan were just awful. But, the day arrived and we saw an amazing little baby on the screen, bouncing and flipping about!!

I could tell people then and felt better for a week or so. Then the constant nausea stopped. People asking if I ws excited? Nope, just terrified.

Had a consultant appointment at 16wks and was so anxious something was wrong - no symptoms, no bump......the lovely Dr did another scan, lo and behold, a baby and bigger than last time! Still, didn't stop me being anxious for 20wk scan but not quite so much.

Am 23wks now and feeling daily vigorous movements and that helps a lot.

Good luck with your scan, its an amazing experience. X

jade1990 · 05/04/2015 22:17

Hi Hun, I'm in exactly the same boat I am 8weeks and 4 days and the only appointment I have had was to confirm the pregnancy with my GP- when I told him I had taken 4 tests he said he didn't need to take another. I can relate to the worrying, I've banned myself from Google and other sites as this tends give you the absolute worst option! I hope you feel better about it all soon but I guess we are letting ourselves in for a lifetime of worrying! X

Original poster

rosy189 · 05/04/2015 22:34

Thanks for the new comments girls, I think we were lucky because we conceived quickly, after I spent a year telling myself it would take us forever, so the worry must be worse for those who have taken a while to conceive.
I'm 12 weeks today and scan on weds, only two days to go, I'm still really nervous, I had have back cramps today and yesterday which spread to my tummy in the morning so that really made me worry, then I thought I saw something on some toilet tissue, its never ending!

Nottalotta I'm so glad you are having a healthy pregnancy after trying for a while, these things have a way of working out well :)

Jade1990 sounds like we are really in the same boat, I felt a bit better when I got to 8 weeks, until I found out things can go wrong at the 12 week scan! Then that set me off!

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