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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Oh my!

65 replies

flabbergasted · 30/10/2006 17:15

Hello - I'm new on this board and feeling very confused. My husband and I spent seven years and thousands of pounds on unsuccessful IVF. Anyone who's had trouble conceiving will know how all-consuming it can become and we were losing sight of ourselves as a couple in the quest for the Bisto family life. Anyway, after the last failure we decided enough was enough. We looked at our nice jobs and nice house and bought some nice pale coloured furniture and resolved to be good auntie and uncle/godparent types. We went on a holiday to Cuba where we drank a LOT of rum cocktails, went scuba diving and horse riding and even smoked cigars. We came back and booked a skiing holiday for January (all the fun things we've been not doing "just in case...")
Anyway. It appears I'm now pregnant the old fashioned way. I'm torn between panic that I've damaged the poor little thing irreparably before it had a chance, and euphoria that something miraculous might be happening, and worry that I'm too old and too (newly) appreciative of my nice, sophisticated minimalist life to be able to bond, and terror that I might lose this one as I have others....HELP!!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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shazdisembodiedronnie · 30/10/2006 17:19

Congratulations and good luck!!
Nature has a way of making little surprises!

Radley · 30/10/2006 17:21

That is fantastic news, fingers crossed that everything goes well for you.

AND, if it will make you feel better, I will gladly take your Skiing holiday off your hands

Piffle · 30/10/2006 17:21

Massive congrats!!!!!!
this happened to my cousin
3 Ivf attempts at £15k
Then her and her dh spent a month in the french alps skiiing and apres skiiing.
Yep she was pregnant and says she spent that entire month binge drinking every night
Her son is quite unbiased speaking - perfection

McDreamy · 30/10/2006 17:23

ohhh congratulations!! My daughter was conceived on honeymoon amid free cocktails and copious amounts of local wine every night. She's perfect!

MrsBadger · 30/10/2006 17:26

very many congratulations!
agree that nature sometimes pulls these things off just when we least expect it - what can we do but roll with it?
Don't feel bad about having fun in Cuba either - relaxing so completely may well have been what made it all possible...

(oh, and welcome to MN)

belgo · 30/10/2006 17:28

Congratulations! Both my dds were concieved on holiday - Majorca and Tenerife!

Original poster
flabbergasted · 30/10/2006 17:29

Piffle, that's very encouraging! After spending years worrying about whether I could have a second glass of wine or whether a peanut butter sandwich might create allergy problems for my unborn, I really let myself go. Now I'm so worried about my diet/drinking/behaviour. Two weeks ago I was bouncing with my nephews on their trampoline! Followed by long boozy dinner with their parents. Oh boy.
And now I find myself worrying about everything! Can I drink tea? If I cook with wine (I often do!) am I storing up trouble....
I'm all at sea now - I don't want to buy all the books again in case the worst happens, so i'm spending a lot of time in Waterstones Parenting section terrifying myself.

OP posts:
kama · 30/10/2006 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
flabbergasted · 30/10/2006 17:33

Thank you for all your replies - what a friendly and encouraging bunch you are!

OP posts:
BudaBeast · 30/10/2006 17:34

How fantastic for you!

When is your due date?

(Welcome to the madhouse by the way!!)

SoupDragon · 30/10/2006 17:35

Congratulations!!

You can cook with wine - all the alcohol burns off. unless you're making a sherry trifle.

Original poster
flabbergasted · 30/10/2006 17:49

I've had a couple of miscarriages in the past so I'm trying not to dwell on specific dates at this stage...but it looks like the middle of June. (Oh god - more panic - one of the youngest in his/her year at school!?!)
Seriously, how soon til I'm safe to be excited? Is it when I see the heartbeat? Is it the 12 week barrier?

OP posts:
MKG · 30/10/2006 17:51

stop worrying and relax. You need to enjoy being pregnant not worrying about it. If there was a dollar for all the women that drank and ate and smoked the wrong thing before they found out they were pregnant we could easily pay the national debt of several countries.

MKG · 30/10/2006 17:57

I heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks with both pregnancies (currently on #2). There's an ante-natal thread for June. You should check it out. Get excited whenever you want. I told everyone and their grandmother at 4 weeks with this pregnancy (currently 10 weeks). June is a great month for having babies. It's great to have new babies when it's warm and sunny. You get so much more motivated to get out and enjoy the summer. The best thing you can do is relax. Nothing ever goes as you plan (expecially when babies are concerned). It looks like yours it getting an early start in letting you know that.

SenoraPostrophe · 30/10/2006 18:02

congratulations!

on the bunge drinking: I think a lot of fetuses are exposed to that early on and seem to remember reading that it doesn't have any effect in the very early days anyway (it does later on though as you know).

I know exactly what you mean by the mixed feelings though - had them with all 3 pregnancies but more with the first. I remember swingnging from life is great to what have I done? and back again many times in the space of an hour. you learn to relax again!

SenoraPostrophe · 30/10/2006 18:03

bunge drinking? that's where you have cocktails on bits of elastic obv.

SenoraPostrophe · 30/10/2006 18:03

the i and the u have both rubbed off my keyboard.

Californifright · 30/10/2006 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
flabbergasted · 30/10/2006 18:05

bunge drinking? that's where you have cocktails on bits of elastic obv. LOL!

Am relaxing as we type.

OP posts:
moondog · 30/10/2006 18:10

Lovely news.
Welcome to MN.

jalopy · 30/10/2006 19:53

How lovely, flabber. Congratulations!

Whoowhoobewhooooooh · 30/10/2006 19:57

Flabbergasted: sounds like you haven't managed to leave the trying-to-conceive tension behind.

I know excatly how you feel. DH & I virtually lost our social life as we were trying for so long, and not smoking/cutting down on booze etc.

When I fell pregnant I was so shocked I don't think I was really able to enjoy it until I was three months gone. It can bring out so many emotions, and not all of them will necessarily be positive.

CONGRATULATIONS! and until you feel able to be happy for yourself, we'll be happy for you.

graciemae · 30/10/2006 20:06

congratulations flabbergasted! don't spend this amazing time worrying - you're pregnant! I'm sure all will be well. babies (both in and out of uterus!)need relaxed and happy mums more than anything else. my sil had a very unplanned and unexpected pregnancy and had previously been drinking and partying like a mad thing - my four month old nephew is perfect in every way.
i have everything crossed for you and your very little bump.

mamijacacalys · 30/10/2006 20:46

Congrats and ditto what everyone else says.

BTW, wouldn't go too bananas in Waterstones...would recommend trusting your instincts and surfing Mnet for support and parenting tips rather than getting too entrenched in the books.

arfishymeau · 30/10/2006 22:29

How wonderful! I'm really pleased for you.

Welcome to the board. As the others have said, you should nip off and join the June ante-natal thread so you're with all of the other June mums.

Don't stress about the cocktails and cigars. I knew a woman who regularly drank 7-8 pints most nights of her pregnancy and she had a healthy baby . She was even back down in the pub the same day she gave birth . (Social services were invovled).

My trampolining coach regularly trampolined until she was about 7 months pregant, so don't stress about that either.

Are you taking your Folic acid? Relax and take it easy. You'll find out everything you need on mumsnet.

Welcome again, and enjoy your pregnancy.