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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Oh my!

65 replies

flabbergasted · 30/10/2006 17:15

Hello - I'm new on this board and feeling very confused. My husband and I spent seven years and thousands of pounds on unsuccessful IVF. Anyone who's had trouble conceiving will know how all-consuming it can become and we were losing sight of ourselves as a couple in the quest for the Bisto family life. Anyway, after the last failure we decided enough was enough. We looked at our nice jobs and nice house and bought some nice pale coloured furniture and resolved to be good auntie and uncle/godparent types. We went on a holiday to Cuba where we drank a LOT of rum cocktails, went scuba diving and horse riding and even smoked cigars. We came back and booked a skiing holiday for January (all the fun things we've been not doing "just in case...")
Anyway. It appears I'm now pregnant the old fashioned way. I'm torn between panic that I've damaged the poor little thing irreparably before it had a chance, and euphoria that something miraculous might be happening, and worry that I'm too old and too (newly) appreciative of my nice, sophisticated minimalist life to be able to bond, and terror that I might lose this one as I have others....HELP!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sputnik · 31/10/2006 09:54

Congratulations flabbergasted, you're very welcome to come and join all us other june mums here .
It's hard I know but try to relax and hold on to that holiday feeling that got you here in the first place (I conceived this time after a nice spa holiday too), as others have said you won't have damaged your baby with a few cocktails. It's completely normal to have mood swings, I remember 1st time round convincing myself I would be a terrible mum and unable to bond, of course it didn't turn out like that. As for losing your new life, that can be easily sorted with a few sofa covers, and plenty of people travel with babies/kids in tow - you needen't sacrifice.

HappyMumof2 · 31/10/2006 10:25

Message withdrawn

cath28 · 31/10/2006 10:48

many congratulations and i'd echo what everyone else says too! i'm 19 weeks pregnant, didn't know till almost 6 weeks, was drinking quite a lot until i found out and panicked but the 13 week scan was absolutely fine, i've got the 2nd one this week still a bit worried but sure it will be ok.. it's from 6 - 9 weeks that you really have to watch it my doctor said as that is when the major organs etc are developing, so if you found out b4 6 weeks as it sounds like you did, i wouldn't lose sleep worrying, as you'll need all the sleep you can get! congrats again

Original poster

flabbergasted · 31/10/2006 10:51

arfishymeau, you have a trampolining coach?

OP posts:

PollyParanoia · 31/10/2006 10:56

I had a miscarriage last year and at about the same time Abigail Witchells gave birth to the boy she was pregnant with when she was stabbed so badly she was paralysed. It was a comfort to me as I realised that an embryo that's going to make it will get through anything (as evidenced by her), while the flipside is that there's also little that you do to "cause" a miscarriage ie it wasn't my fault. If this one is meant to hang on (which odds are it will, hurrah), then it will. And so don't worry about the boozing, sounds as if he/she owes her existence to it! (my acupuncturist told me not to give up alcohol when trying to conceive as it would make sex less likely!)
So exciting, Pol

Original poster

flabbergasted · 31/10/2006 11:03

Polly, I'm sorry for your loss but thank you for your supportive and helpful words of comfort. This site is fantastic - I haven't been able to tell my Mum or sister yet because I know how much they want this for me and how completely devastated they'd be if it were to go wrong. I couldn't bear the guilt of upsetting them!

I still can't quite believe it's real. I did four pregnancy tests before I would even consider the possibility. I know I must relax, but I dare not celebrate yet - maybe once I see the heartbeat.....

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geordiemacminx · 31/10/2006 12:02

Flabbergasted - how many weeks pregnant are you?

I had an early scan at 7 weeks followig a m/c and they found the heartbeat no problem. You can normally get an early scan if you have had problems in the past.. otherwise private ones are usually less than £100 at this stage and are well worth it for peace of mind.

Whereabouts are you?

Original poster

flabbergasted · 31/10/2006 12:12

We had a scan yesterday at the IVF place - they were all far more excited than I was! I'm only about 6 weeks so they say I should have another scan on Monday to see what they can see.
They said I shouldn't be pessimistic - but I'm less a pessimist and more a stunned mullet at this point. (er...the fish, not the haircut. Actually that still makes no sense...
Oh well.)

OP posts:

Socci · 31/10/2006 12:27

Message withdrawn

CurrantBun · 31/10/2006 14:28

That's so wonderful, Flabbergasted. I'm sure everything will be fine and there's no way you will have done any damage with your holiday excesses!

I'm 23 weeks and conceived in Turkey in June. We'd been trying for nearly a year and I'm sure the total relaxation and lack of stress was the deciding factor. I was drinking several glasses of wine per night while we were on holiday, and probably eating lots of the wrong things too. I'm a marathon runner and was running about 40 miles a week until I found out I was pregnant, then I did cut back a bit (am still managing 20 miles a week even now though). So don't worry!

I didn't feel as though I could properly relax about the baby until after the 12-week scan although we did tell our parents as soon as we found out at 5 weeks.

And I was born mid-June and it didn't matter at all that I was at the younger end of the school year. The only downside was having 'O' levels, then 'A' levels, then my final degree exams on my birthday!

Original poster

flabbergasted · 31/10/2006 15:14

All your replies have been so positive and reassuring. I'm beginning to wonder if there are any people out there who DIDN'T get started as a result of their parents' holiday excess!
Come to think of it, my mother was INSTRUCTED by her doctor to drink a bottle of stout every day when she was expected my big sis. I am calming down a bit now.
Temporarily probably.

TTC can be so stressful - it can really suck the fun out of sex, and even togetherness. The need to conveive affects everything. My Darling Husband has been so patient. He's wandering around with the stunned mullet look too, bless him.

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MrsBadger · 31/10/2006 16:54

[popped back to see how you were doing Flabber - pmsl at the thought of a pair of stunned mullets ]

Flangelina · 31/10/2006 17:14

Our best friends conceived naturally (the night of our wedding, in fact, so I'm led to believe!) after trying for about 6 years, including IVF. I think the relaxing and forgetting all about conceiving must really help! I absolutely wouldn't worry about your holiday excesses - it's very unlikely you have done any harm. (I've heard countless stories about people getting legless before they know they're pregnant, and even afterwards!) Congratulations and good luck.

Pinewood · 01/11/2006 07:15

Congratulations! One of my best friends conceived her first child while on holiday amongst drinking heavily/smoking strange substances etc and her DD is now 8 yo and top of her class!

Good luck for Monday and I hope the stunted mullet look for both you and DH will turn it to extreme happiness when you get to see your baby on the ultrasound!

Miaou · 01/11/2006 07:57

What a lovely story flabbergasted .Welcome to mumsnet! (I think you'll fit in well here )

arfishymeau · 01/11/2006 11:49

LOL! I don't have a trampolining coach any more. I trampolined for years but I can't fit it in now I've got DD. It was a bit easier years ago before I lost my pelvic floor and got decrepit.

RubyRioja · 01/11/2006 11:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emzickle · 01/11/2006 13:30

wow congratulations!!!

emzickle · 01/11/2006 13:31

o yes, i had a new years conceived baby... a lot of alcofroll... she's fine...

VoodooBanana · 01/11/2006 13:36

I got knocked up after a couple of alcopop binges, dd is perfect.
she was a june baby and it is the loveliest time of year to have one...lots of outdoor walks to recouperate and now the nights are darker just at the perfect time to reinforce her sleep habits.fab! best of luck, god bless old mother nature!

Original poster

flabbergasted · 06/11/2006 15:20

Had scan this morning. They couldn't find a heartbeat, and at seven weeks, they should be able to. They took some more blood, and booked me in for another scan next week and said I should keep an "open mind" but....
Damn damn damn.

OP posts:

FIMBO · 06/11/2006 15:22

I am sorry Flabber.

Original poster

flabbergasted · 06/11/2006 15:32

Thank you. I had mixed feelings about being pregnant initially but now of course want it more than anything.
I still feel queasy. My breasts still hurt. I feared SOMETHING might yet go wrong but I didn't think it would be today - today I still FEEL pregnant.
Blood test results tomorrow.

OP posts:

geordiemacminx · 06/11/2006 15:38

fg... dont give up hope... there are loads of threads on here that confirm that its not always possible to detect a heartbeat at 7 weeks, especially if you are not 100% with dates.

Hope everything works out for you.

chelle479 · 06/11/2006 17:22

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you hunni

hugs chelle xxx

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