Kate Middleton.....can we have a word?

[Cockbollocks]

Does anybody else really hope that Kate Middleton gets into the car after these engagements. Hoicks up her support tights, slips on some fluffy slippers and gets a bar of Dairy milk and a packet of Gaviscon tabs from her bag!

Honestly, that tiny bump, high heels, shiny hair (although my hair is ok) and permanent smile is doing nothing for the rest of us heavily pregnant women.

My bump appears to looking like i'm actually carrying an elephant to its gestation.

I would also quite like a picture of her getting out of the car and grimacing at that moment when the baby causes you to let out a little wee.

Or the waddle shuffle.

Or the grunting face you pull when you have bent over or crouched down forgetting that it is nearly impossible to get up again.
Or the sudden onset of crippling cramp in any part of your legs or feet.

If your reading this lady, do you think you could oblige one or more of the above?

Oh yes I don't understand how she can wear heels - I haven't since about 10 weeks due to SPD. She just looks so un pregnant apart from the bump! Although I might look more composed without my crazy 3 year old in toe. She might struggle a bit more if she was looking after Prince George at the same time!

She is tall - and makes wearing heels look effortless : I saw her at a Buck House Garden party and she seemed to manage not to sink into the grass at all and towered over the Queen!

Given that she's loaded and probably has a shit ton of staff cooking all her meals, running around after her toddler and styling her from head to toe, I'd say that's how she's managing it! I'd probably look a damn sight better too if I had a legion of staff to pick up after me.

sunbathing cat she doesn't have to smile ALL day though- her engagements last a couple of hours at most and, aside from a recent flurry over the last week or so, she's not had many at all.

If I only had to work the hours she has, I would have smiled a lot more during the end of my pregnancy (especially with her clothes budget- all of my maternity stuff was from New Look/ Mothercare sale!)

There's no denying she looks good, but think the real credit needs to go to those who are still working full time this far through their pregnancies, or those who've had difficult pregnancies and had to manage (possibly also looking after their other children too) without staff etc :)

I think she reads mumsnet - there's a picture of her at her latest event looking a little bit tired when she gets out of the car, not that the DM would ever caption the picture that way as their theme is all about how great she is looking.

I wonder if she had had practice walking in heels ?

I'd have to have bloody lessons if it were me and I'm not pg.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3000256/Stepping-style-Pregnant-Kate-shines-35-polka-dot-maternity-dress-meets-children-London.html

She does look mighty exhausted here

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3000256/Stepping-style-Pregnant-Kate-shines-35-polka-dot-maternity-dress-meets-children-London.html

Look, look its the 'baby just made me wee a bit when I stood up' face

I would just like to admit that i'm on my third child, others are at school and I only work 8 hours a week - therefore I should look and smile like Kate Middleton all the time. I'm also 5'11".

I'm clearly just shit at this pregnancy lark

I wore some heeled boots at the weekend when DP took me out for lunch, I hobbled and moaned my way into Primark to buy some flats as soon as we got into town!

How far gone is Kate?

Not that I'd admit to reading the Daily Mail. Because that would be wrong. But if you were to accidentally read the comments about Kate Middleton, an amazing amount suggest that she is using a surrogate*. Which could explain why she looks so good .

• I am fully aware that any person who actually believes this has an extremely large roll of tin foil stashed away.

I'm pretty much the same stage exactly as her, and up until this week have been sadly delighted that I looked the same in terms of weight gain/bump size (my bump is a bit smaller than hers but this is my first and her second). Now though I have horrible swollen legs, not enough that anyone else would really notice but I do! So her in her heels and knee length dresses is really p!ssing me off because up until last week I could do that too :( That's the one thing I can't stand now, the slight swelling. I can't see the bones in my feet, and my feet are more rectangle shaped than foot shaped. I need to stop looking at her with her fab legs on display!

And I don't think it's anything to do with how much you have to do vs having people to do things for you, I'm on maternity leave, no other children so I'm spending my days doing very little mostly, and still have swelling, pain, all the fun things.

However, I didn't have HG and I don't have a single grey hair, did anyone see the pic of her recently with her grey roots on show?? (Jealousy is making me very petty now)

Sorry, I x-posted the daily fail link!

I have stumpy cankles strong legs and am used to wearing high heels, because in flats I look like a East German weight-lifter and walk like a duck ,so wore them until the due date last time and if lucky, planning to do the same this time. I don't think I would bother if I had her legs though.

I've not worn heels since about 14 weeks - I genuinely dread to think what I would walk like now (at 29).

I can wear heels, can even walk in them.

However, when they come off my feet explode into a balloon of water and I spend the next six hours with intermittent cramp!

cockbollocks- how many 'staff' do you have at home? Do you have a nanny?

If your answers to my questions are "lots" and "yes@ respectively, then I demand you smile immediately

"Yes" *

I went to work in a professional environment until 2 weeks before DD1's arrival and 3 days before DD2 so I had to look polished.

Whereas I am no Kate Middleton I did manage to look reasonably well. My hair was always fab during pregnancy as was my skin (after was a totally different matter)

I was huge on DD1 but still managed to look ok. I never get the whole idea that either before or after having a baby you should be shuffling around looking bedraggled.

Do you know what I absolutely hate.......when I say to people that I've been ill with hyperemesis for 13 weeks and they say oh that poor Kate Middleton had it too. So fucking what. Thousands of women suffer from it but we're not on the f-ing news........arrrggghhhh xxx

I have two staff members sore but tbh they are fecking useless.

Lazy little beggers with an attitude - the girl can't even reach the work surfaces for cleaning and the boy keeps putting the glasses from the dishwasher in the wrong cupboard - don't even get me started on the appalling 'hoovering' they claim to do

merry i generally look ok, always made up, hair washed etc not slovenly at all - however I'm likely to rip your head off without any warning!!

cock with staff as appalling as that, no wonder you're likely to rip people's heads off. I'd give them a week's notice and advertise for new ones