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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

I would like a maternity T shirt that reads....

51 replies

stubbornstains · 16/03/2015 20:42

Not "Baby on Board" (boak). Not "Yummy Mummy in Waiting" (double boak).

More something like: "Commenting on how big I am ALREADY waives all rights you may have to not get punched in the face. In addition, I DO know it's not twins thank you, due to the not particularly recent invention of ultrasound".

That is all Angry.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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mrsp2311 · 17/03/2015 07:18

Stone that is amazing!

sianihedgehog · 17/03/2015 07:27

"yes, it was fucking planned, and that's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS."

Number3cometome · 17/03/2015 09:12

Mine would read:

'Touch me and you're dead'
or
'yes it's my third, fuck off'
or
'Was it planned? depends on the DNA results'

haha

Skeppers · 17/03/2015 09:21

I do like the idea of a 'other topics of conversation are available' t-shirt! It's so B-O-R-I-N-G talking about nurseries and nappies and prams and blah blah BLAH...I had a life outside of reproduction before I got knocked up, and I still have one now!

Another good one would be 'i'm pregnant, not an invalid!'
Since becoming pregnant, everyone (especially my mother) creeps around me and the first thing they always ask is "how are you feeeeeeling?" with that stupid, overly-concerned, slightly constipated expression on their face.

Truth is, I've never felt better, had no adverse symptoms at all. Wish people would stop treating me like I had a terminal disease! I know I should probably be grateful that they care, but it's another one of those irrational things which is really hacking me off. Like, they're suddenly expecting me to become the delicate, sickly heroine of a Victorian novel and start fainting everywhere...

Number3cometome · 17/03/2015 09:23

Skeppers

I got 'told off' for picking up boxes at work the other week.

My response was to remind them that I am probably able to lift more than most of the guys, so to please fuck off with their sexist opinions!!

Skeppers · 17/03/2015 09:35

Number3cometome...APPLAUSE! Grin

HazleNutt · 17/03/2015 09:57

Ah yes, I need that T-shirt for gym - Yes, it is perfectly OK to keep exercising!

NigellaFlawsome · 17/03/2015 10:19

On a good day:

"Shh"

On a bad day:

"Fuck. Off."

OMC1 · 17/03/2015 10:52

"Yes, I am sure there's only one in there!"

"You touch me, I touch you."

Some awesome suggestions!

Number3cometome · 17/03/2015 11:09

"I know I look like a waddling penguin, I have SPD, now fuck off"
or
"If you mention pregnancy 'glow', i'll show you a place even a glow worm won't shine"

Grin
ILiveOnABuildsite · 17/03/2015 14:10

I want one that reads

"Yes my bump is small, yes I'm sure I'm pregnant and yes baby is fine and normal size so stop trying to worry me"

I'm due in 3 weeks and still fit in my size 12 but that's not my fault, it's just how I'm carrying and people need to accept that and stop trying to diagnose me or scare me.

happygojo · 17/03/2015 14:24

'Yes I can eat this'
'No it isn't Twins'
'Yes it is fine for me to exercise'
'No we are not planning to marry, we thought a 35 year mortgage and a child was enough commitment'
'Yes it was planned'

Number3cometome · 17/03/2015 14:30

ILiveOnABuildsite

Don't panic! I was like that with DC1 - a 9lb baby came out!

SunnyBaudelaire · 17/03/2015 14:33

I would have liked one that said
'no you cannot have a fucking feel you pervert'

KaffeOgKage · 17/03/2015 14:33

you're all so f*ing precious. I just answered the questions politely when I was pregnant.

This permanent level of outrage amongst pregnant women didn't exist 13 years ago.

KaffeOgKage · 17/03/2015 14:34

ok, a t-shirt with "yes I can eat this" :-/ I see the humour in that.

ILiveOnABuildsite · 17/03/2015 14:39

Number3 I'm not worried I was the same with dd and she came out weighting 8lbs at 38 weeks so by no means a small baby. I'm just lucky that I carry small, it's just others who can't seem to accept it that winds me up. It also often leads to them touching my bump to see if it's hard and if they can feel the baby moving to prove there is a baby in there. So because of this I would like to add a "don't touch" t shirt to my order.

Skeppers · 17/03/2015 14:41

My permanent level of outrage has nothing to do with my pregnancy.

ILiveOnABuildsite · 17/03/2015 14:43

I've never been accused of being precious before Grin I certainly didn't expect it to happen on thread I assume was about a bit of fun. That's really made me laugh.

Number3cometome · 17/03/2015 14:44

KaffeOgKage

Good for you.

I've just thought of a new one:

"I'm feeling precious, so FUCK OFF"

I'll let you read it first Grin

happygojo · 17/03/2015 15:09

kaffe in real life I smile sweetly, even when someone tells me I am big for 18 weeks twice in a convo. And then asks

Let us have our fun on here!

Original poster
stubbornstains · 17/03/2015 15:11

ILiveOnABuildsite

Conversely, I am the size of a house (see my OP), and was similar last time, and DS was only 6lbs 9 at 17 days overdue. Hence the heightened sensitivity to comments about my size- I know full well most of it is fucking cake!

OP posts:
Original poster
stubbornstains · 17/03/2015 15:12

happy conversely, this is the only time in life I feel free to be able to tell random acquaintances to "shut up!". And then smile hugely, like I meant it as a big joke I didn't.

OP posts:
GrouchyKiwi · 17/03/2015 15:14

I have a "Hands off the Bump" t-shirt. It worked with both babies.

motherinferior · 17/03/2015 15:31

I had my first baby over 14 years ago, KaffeOgKage, and I can assure you I felt fucking furious all the fucking time. Loathed pregnancy and the way that being pregnant turns you into public property.

I love all these suggestions and would like them to give to pregnant friends.