Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Help & advice regarding the portland hospital please

92 replies

mommyof41986 · 08/03/2015 19:03

hi my step daughter is pregnant & she would like to go private at the portland.
we live quite a way from london (Gloucestershire). are there any rules about how far away u live? if it comes to it we would relocate to london for a few weeks closer to the birth.
she would like to give birth vaginally
any advice on choosing a consultant (if needed)
anything we should know? she is 17
thank you

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

mommyof41986 · 09/03/2015 17:34

u find my level of involvement weird? ok thats fine but we are very close I have been there for her for 8 years now.
I fail to see where she needs to grow up. she doesnt drink, smoke, do drugs, she doesnt go out partying. her and her friends much rather go out for coffee or lunch. shes never been a child, I suppose thats what happens when ur mom dies so young.
she came to me and said she wanted to be a mum & would I help her be a good mum & like I said she should me everything she thoufht needed to be & she was spot on. she knew current guidance on what to eat, how to sleep etc while pg she knows about breastfeeding & bottle feeding & has done research in regards to this. she knows when all vaccination are currently needed & their benefits.
have to say she knows more about pregnancy and babies than I did with my first.
she doesnt worry me or weird me out - she impresses me

OP posts:

RedToothBrush · 09/03/2015 17:42

more women like my old neighbour who thinks vaginal birth is sweaty & messey & unnecessary & above her - now shes a 40 yo brat

Nice.

You want us to respect your daughter's choices yet you come out with that gem.

Original poster

mommyof41986 · 09/03/2015 17:52

redtoothbrush
nobody is above anything or indeed anyone & I find thinking ur better than giving birth & that being ur only reason a little hard to stomach.
I dont care how babies get to this earth tbh but have unfortunately met a few women who think that the pain of vb is beneth them.
that is just my opinion which everyone is entitled to

OP posts:

3luckystars · 09/03/2015 17:53

I'm in Ireland so things are different here, you either go public and take a chance or you pay about 4000 to a consultant, privately and if you find one you trust, you get then you get excellent care from start to finish, you see the same person every time, a private room and total reassurance.

My sister lives in the UK and had to do some research because i know the system is different, but she found a consultant that she liked and paid privately for him. It cost about 2000, but she went to visit him every few weeks and only saw him. She had complete trust in him and she had a private room in the hospital. She really got to know him and felt very reassured. Is there any chance you could find a consultant locally and they could advise you on your options. Best of luck and congratulations.

Original poster

mommyof41986 · 09/03/2015 18:06

thankyou to everyone who has provide advice she will take it on board. shes booked for tours for next week thankfully she managed to get them on consecutive days so only one over night needed.

to whoever it was who called her a brat - shes had a hard day & u gave her a giggle so thanku
x

OP posts:

WorkingBling · 09/03/2015 18:07

I cannot believe the vitriol on this thread. Yes, the decision op and her dsd are making are unusual but she has every right to spend her money however she wants and to look for specific types of care. I love the nhs but would not ever question a person's right to explore alternatives.

Op, good luck to your dd. She is lucky to have such a supportive mother figure after what was probably a tough childhood. Encourage her to look at all options, including independent private midwife care in the lead up which might make the effort easier.

All the best.

BubblesInMyBath · 09/03/2015 18:09

Sorry I haven't RTFT so this may have been suggested already,

Has she considered an independent midwife for her antenatal care prior to the birth or a doula for during the birth?

I can understand wanting private care but I think I'd feel more supported personally wherever I gave birth if I had continuity of care from the same midwife and a doula

husbanddoestheironing · 09/03/2015 18:22

Can't comment on the rest, but I would totally recommend looking into some interim appointments with a local independent midwife if your step-daughter has anxieties at this stage. I had one appt with my second preg. after a traumatic first delivery and she was fantastic- bit keen on home births which I def. wasn't going to do for various reasons but once I explained that she was able to spend lots of time talking through all sorts of aspects of pregnancy/birth that I had concerns about. Good luck to you all

ChocolateBiscuitCake · 09/03/2015 18:23

Great news about the tours.

The Fetal Medicine Centre is a stone's throw from The Portland and they offer early pregnancy scans which may offer some reassurance as well as something lovely to do together. It is the Baker Street end of Harley Street - you will need to book.

VivaLeBeaver · 09/03/2015 18:30

I think in London there are better private alternatives than the Portland. I'd be looking at options which are more closely linked with an nhs hospital such as the Lindo wing.

Want2bSupermum · 09/03/2015 20:07

OP - There are plenty of people who don't want anyone else to have anything better than them. Ignore them.

It was very important to me that when delivering the baby I would have resources available to me to enable the birth to be more in line with what I want. The Portland is run like an American hospital. They normally have a doctor on call who is there to administer epidurals. They also have a host of other specialists available so you can have the birth you want. I thought it was well worth paying extra for considering the horror stories from friends who delivered babies in the North West. All of my friends were extremely supportive of me going up to London and some of them had subsequent babies at the Lindo Wing or Portland after their horrific experience with their first. It has become more common in my social circle to do this, especially as most families have a London home closer to the London hospital than their family home in the North West is to the local maternity provision in the North West.

Seriously she is smart to be starting a family now but she should also consider the legalities of her child being provided for. I understand why she isn't married but her child won't be able to inherit funds but also would have to pay inheritance tax while a spouse wouldn't. I would think a trip to the solicitor for legal advice might be a good idea to make sure everything is properly set up.

MissTwister · 09/03/2015 20:13

I would just say be careful as private does not always mean better care or consultants. For a non pregnancy condition I went private and eventually ended up switching to NHS as the care was so bad. I had unnecessary invasive procedures but did not get what I needed. Turns out if I would have stayed with that consultant and his treatment there would have been a very high chance I would now, a few years on, have cancer. Also the care in the hospital wasn't great - they forgot to check up on me after the operation and I had to get my husband to go out looking for someone in the corridor!

MabelSideswipe · 09/03/2015 20:31

If she would like to maximise her chances of a straightforward vaginal birth she might like to examine the stats in the place of birth study from a couple of years ago. These show that she has a far better chance of a straightforward vaginal birth at home or in a midwife led unit rather than in a consultant led unit - private or otherwise. The chances are higher in a standalone unit (one that is not attached to a consultant unit). Not all MLU's will accept under 18s though. If I had the funds I would go for a private midwife at home, especially one that offered hypnosis or a private standalone midwife led birthing centre.

At the very least ask to look at the intervention rates at the Portland and the transfer rates from the MLU to the CLU to check how they compare to the national average which you can find in the latest NICE guidelines on intrapartum care. I don't know how they compare myself but it is important to check I think.

Feckeggblue · 09/03/2015 20:46

Portland like a hospital in the US? I've been unfortunate enough to go to a couple of hospitals in the US (NY) it was like bloody Calcutta. Awful

Focusfocus · 10/03/2015 06:00

Well. I am from bloody Calcutta and it has some pretty nice private hospitals where all my cousins and friends kids have been/are being born. Some even nicer than UK hospitals.

Feckeggblue · 10/03/2015 06:17

Sorry it was just say phrase, poorly though out. I haven't been to Calcutta

Booboostoo · 10/03/2015 06:34

I gave birth privately although not in the UK and I am one of the too posh to push incompetents so I don't know if you want to bother with what I have to say.

For me the most reassuring thing was having my own doctor and midwife, both of whom I saw at each appointment and who were both available for emergencies and the birth. That makes for a reassurance and continuity of care that you do not necessarily get in public health care. The private room, 24/7 meals etc. were also little luxuries that made recovery a bit better - of course I could have coped without but they were nice to have. I also had private health insurance which would have kicked in in case of emergency but the cost of the ELCS all in was 10,000 euros.

Flip

1 2 3 4