Anyone's DP doing the preggers diet with you?

[SueV14]

I'm 18 weeks now, consider myself quite a foodie and I love my wine too (and even have a wine & food blog). So it's been really tough for me to stay away from all the stuff which is "not recommended". So I've been whining and complaining quite a lot about all the food tabus and my zero alcohol policy (strongly supported by DH!) and he keeps telling me to stop complaining cause it's for a short time anyway bla bla bla.

He simply doesn't realise how tough it is for me, especially ME who loves food and wine so much. So I told him he'll never understand how I feel and that he's welcome to join in for the "diet". He first said "sure no problem, will do it with you" but has been still having his little beer a few times a week with dinner and keeps having wine when we're dining out with friends. So pretending he forgot about it, sort of. (He never has been a big drinker anyways and only drinks small amounts). But STILL, it's not like staying away from something completely. So I am thinking of putting my foot down on it and make him stay away from all the foods/drink I can't have. Being in the same boat will hopefully help him feel with and for me.

Anyone's DP doing this with you? And if not what are your thoughts? Please don't say I'm being an unreasonable hormonal preggers bi*...

Also if I go out for dinner I'm having whatever fucking dessert I want - raw eggs or not - esp when I'm not drinking wine!!

Yes wrong words there - depends on your current level of luxury behaviour

Mine is clearly too low!

It depends why you are under consultant care.

If you are under mw's, not until well into third trimester and then it is mostly choosing mlu/labour ward/home in principle.

With a consultant you may have less choice on that and stuff like pain relief is mostly ante natal classes.

perhaps change style of restaurant? Most Thai food is ok, for example. and Lebanese.

Interesting re Sainsbury sparkling. Will have a look! there's an online alcohol free shop with lots of choice.

Also if you bf then there can be further restrictions. DD was intolerant of eggs, dairy and soy. After six months of that, I consider the pregnancy restrictions a piece of cake!

I get that this is a massive issue for you. But essentially you knew the score before deciding to have a baby. It's 9 months, and then you can go back to eating and drinking to your hearts content (although my wine intake has dramatically reduced since having DD, it's really no fun getting up at 6am with a lively toddler with a fuzzy head, even when/if they start sleeping!). It's really not worth all the angst or arguing with your DH over.

It never occurred to me or DH to eat the same way during pregnancy. Then again he already eats the pregnancy diet hates pâté, doesn't drink Alcohol, eat rare cooked meat.
I would love some pâté but I wouldn't expect anyone to forgo it.

I would base my AIBU on your response to this question, would you give up a food or drink of your DH could no longer eat it?
If you wouldn't consider giving up dairy etc if he developed an intolerance/allergy then YABU.

Penguin I'm under consultant care cause I have a history of ectopic, cancer treatment and will be 36 by the time the baby is due..

london Oh I love Thai and Indian and Chinese and we do vary. You're right its easier in such restaurants. While in gastropubs and normal British or French places I sometimes see that I can only have 1 starter out of 5! And mostly it is warm goat cheese salad or similar and I still need to ask if cheese is pasteurized [rolling eyes] And I think I saw that shop you're talking about online. I was tempted to order a mixed case but went for those available at waitrose and my local wine merchant. After the big disappointment I am somewhat reluctant spending even more money on what's most likely to be disgusting...

LittleBairn Something like giving up dairy if DH developed an intollerance is a completely different cup of tea. I am sure he wouldn't expect me to cut out on smth what is considered part of a healthy varied diet and is recommended. But I certainly would make sure I never have it in front of him if he missed it. Temporarily staying away from foods that are necessarily 100% healthy/safe to eat anyways is a different story. But thinking about it, I'd say yes, I would probably cut it out if I knew it meant so much to him.

Sue I was consultant led for similar reasons - RMC, part molar, blood condition (not being 36 though - I am but it's not deemed old enough to warrant exta care in most hospitals nowadays) I was on meds throughout but allowed the hippy birth I asked for immediately. As there was no history of 3rd trimester issues.

SueV14, I am exact same as you!! I love wine and my food and I am missing it too!
My husband very rarely drinks, I was the one who would drink when we went out etc.
I don't think you are being unreasonable, I don't think though that men will ever fully understand ALL that we sacrifice as they are simply not sacrificing it.
I haven't asked my husband not to drink etc as to be totally honest he very seldom drinks and I think if we now go out it is a nice change for him, that he can drink if he wishes and I drive and it is 99% the other way around normally.
I felt really quite sick for the first 12 weeks plus and didn't fancy wine or any alcohol, but started to feel better now, I am 18 weeks too.
Since I turned about 14 weeks, like sianihedgehog, I have had the odd glass of wine and then topped it up with soda water to make it last longer.
Normally I enjoy the whole bottle, so thought this would feel a popintless task, but I actually enjoyed it. ;)
xx

Pointless *

Regarding sushi. Most of the sushi sold in the UK is pre frozen. That makes it much safer to eat. I think that's what commercial sushi refers to. I was told (I live in sweden) that I could still eat the sushi boxes you get in supermarkets and that any good restaurant would be ok too. I was just warned about Mercury levels in fast swimming fish, and not to overdo it. Swedes practically live off fish!

Sue, be aware that you do absorb alcohol via tissues in your mouth. I'm not saying that to be preachy about booze (your body, your choice) but to give you the facts. even swilling it round and spitting means you absorb some. I think it's about 5% of the dose you'd get drinking it, so ten tasting samples equals one glass. I know this from touring vinyards with pregnant friends in NZ.

i don't see the point in making my DH give up anything if he doesn't need too, but then I don't feel I've given hardly anything up, just alcohol, and I'll still have the odd glass of wine, and raw fish (I'm in the US, so not sure if their sushi is pre frozen so decided to avoid that risk). I was never big on rare meat, pate, runny eggs (no lion stamps here) or soft cheese anyway so I guess I'm lucky cos I don't really miss them, but I can see it would be so annoying if you did and it was being rubbed in your face!!

I'd make him give it up, purely because it bothers YOU a lot and you're the pregnant one! Or at least get him to stop mentioning it, but then I'm mean and it would annoy me a lot too if I felt like you!

I miss wine so much too! Especially the first one on Friday night. I prob don't have the sophisticated palette it sounds like you have Suev14 but Becks Blue has made it much more bearable for me! I get to get a chilled 'beer' out of the fridge on a Friday night and it sort of cons me into thinking its real. Your DP should be more sensitive and if he's not that bothered about booze I would wait until he dismisses your moaning and then tell him to give up something he really enjoys. He should also bring you treats of other varieties for making up for doing all the hard work of growing his baby :) Good luck and we all have to just keep the bigger picture in mind it will be all worth it in the end!

I found out today that a wine a tasted and loved during a winery visit in Piedmont, Italy has won a panel tasting. I made DH buy me a case of this (bloody expensive) wine today as a present for my upcoming birthday! Feeling very proud of myself and not so angry with him anymore

No I don't expect DH to eat like he's pregnant too. But then again, he also does not tell me what I can or can't eat.

Big drinker with half a bottle of wine! You make me feel I was practically an alcoholic then!

With you on missing wine. I've had the occasional glass since I hit second trimester, but it doesn't taste the same and dammit I feel too guilty. My DH did actually offer to give up booze too. However, he's not a heavy drinker and I hated to think I'd be depriving him. That said, when he does have wine I do feel jealous, and can smell it on his breath which makes me feel a bit sick!

He was very 'should you be doing that' at first, but has chilled out a lot as the pregnancy progresses.

It's other people I get annoyed at. The friend who, when I confess how much I missed wine, told me I was ungrateful for being pregnant and maybe had a 'problem'. My dad, who thinks all this not drinking in pregnancy is 'nonsense' and always filling my glass even when I explain I just don't feel like it!

I have discovered that we pregnant women become public property, our bodies and decisions up for public discussion...