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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Hair 'down there?'

63 replies

jennyB123 · 20/02/2015 19:43

Tmi question about hair down there!

I'm so embarrassed about having any professional down there anyway, even more so now I can't see to shave I can just about manage to keep it tidy, but am a worrying needlessly??

I'm sure midwives see it all, I just keep thinking how awfully ugly it must look down there

I have a sweep booked in for next Wednesday, and all I'm worried about is my hairy bush!!

Words of encouragement would be nice

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

cosmicglittergirl · 20/02/2015 21:01

I know some people worry about it, it's fair enough to want some control over things, especially when your most intimate area is on show, perhaps a beard trimmer thing will make you feel happier. Then it's one last thing to worry about.

Sapat · 20/02/2015 21:15

I can assure you that you have much more important things to worry about. For all my three I gave it a quick trim so that all the blood didn't stick too much and it looked reasonably tidy for the sutures. I shaved my legs and armpits but that is as far as I was willing to go.

Yes they see your fanny. They also see your boobs, your bum, your vagina. They see you scrunch your face in agony, they see your cellulite and bingo arms, they probably smell your breath 36 hours into labour, they see you bleed, they wipe away the poo and they probably get covered in amniotic fluid. They catheterise you to make you wee and they put a halogen lamp between your stirruped legs to suture you internally and externally all the way up to the bum hole, and finish by putting their fingers in all orifices to check it has been done properly. Whether your fanny is bushy or pre-pubescent is probably the last thing they are worried about.

As for the men who expect women to look like 10 year olds I have a selection of words for them and I am not even a feminist. I had one guy who once suggested my hairiness was surprising and I told him I would wax it if he sorted his shoulders and back. He didn't so neither did I. Personally I could not care less about my partners hairiness so I don't expect him to voice preferences about mine. He can make sweet love to himself as i won't be doing the honours. And I will make damn sure my sons appreciate their women folk and that my daughter appreciates her body.

yazz21 · 20/02/2015 21:25

I'm 35+3 and in the bath today realised I can no longer see to shave. If I really tilted to the side I just about got a glimpse!

I just went in blind and will ask Dp for a hand next time as he's offered.

cosmicglittergirl · 20/02/2015 21:26

What Sapat said.

Whatabout · 20/02/2015 21:27

Last time I did the top edge just in case I needed a section. If a health care professional is judging me on my bush Then the issue lies with them. As an ex health care professional I've never noticed body hair.

thenightsky · 20/02/2015 21:34

I gave birth in 86 and 91 and nobody gave half a shite about length of fanjo hair then. It wasn't even discussed. Thank God!

Titsalinabumsquash · 20/02/2015 21:38

I used to be a beauty therapist, it was my job to style the undercarriage of men and women and even I didn't think twice if someone came in with lots of hair.
Once you've seen one you've seen them all, I'm sure a midwife is far more interested in what's coming out of it than what 'doo' you've got going on

ghostspirit · 20/02/2015 21:49

sod that i wont be shaving down there. cant even reach that well. be lucky if i shave my legs.

but my friend wants to be my birthing partner and i know she would go on so much if i did not shave. so im not letting her. because i cant be arsed

wildpoppy · 20/02/2015 22:27

I have an unkempt down there and was at a baby shower recently with a midwife friend of the mum to be and asked her. She said they never care or even notice as long as not v smelly and unwashed. And that only odd thing she's seen is tattooed pubic mounds!

Dognado · 20/02/2015 22:33

Sapat, you sound like a feminist to me

SueV14 · 20/02/2015 22:34

I'm almost 17 weeks and keeping up my sugaring routine every 5 weeks. And planning to keep it up to the end. I'm glad I started doing it years ago, it did make me feel more sexy and attractive about myself. Now I even feel that sex is better when I'm "freshly done" down there than the week before I'm due for my next session. But that's just me. To each her own that's for sure and the last thing I would worry about is what the medical staff is thinking, cause I'm pretty sure they've seen it ALL.

sorehead your comment made me laugh out loud!! Still giggling :)))

WipsGlitter · 20/02/2015 22:37

First time I had a full leg and bikini wax and pedicure! Second time... Possibly a bit of a run over with a razor.

BuggersMuddle · 20/02/2015 22:49

These threads sadden me. I have never given birth, but I have had a couple of extremely undignified medical procedures where docs would have been able to see everything.

What to do with my pubes didn't even cross my mind beforehand. Why would it - it's a medical situation, not a fucking porno

Sorry OP, I know you're just asking, but the expectation that grown women ought to be embarrassed about the styling of their fanjo in this type of scenario gives me the rage

WineWineWine · 20/02/2015 23:06

I cannot believe that any normal thinking person, would actually worry about what the midwife or any other medical professional would think about their pubic hair!

If you want to trim or shave for your own benefit, go for it, but to worry about what someone else might think of it, is just weird.

seaoflove · 20/02/2015 23:25

When I gave birth I was like a gorilla from the waist down. I couldn't have done anything about it if I wanted to: I had horrific SPD and a massive bump and just couldn't reach anywhere to shave. I've never been waxed and had no plans to start!

Did I care? Well, maybe a bit when I had my legs in stirrups in theatre, being stitched.

MuddyWellyNelly · 20/02/2015 23:31

I'm sure that most of the people who want to be "neat" are well aware it won't seem important at the time of labour. But if their personal preference is some form of trim/tidy/wax, why the judgement? To my mind, it's one thing you can control about labour, when everything else is resolutely not. I don't think choosing to wax is the same as believing you are stepping on set of a porno, FFS .

For me, I do find hair sprouting out from bikinis/swimsuits (the only time I see another woman's nether regions!) pretty unattractive. Yes, Ugly, even. But if someone chooses that for themselves, it is their choice. I just don't have to find it charming. I hate it on myself, though I go for the regular wax so plenty of hair still there. Just not visible unless I want DH to see it.

Fwiw when I had my waxing this week I told my therapist about the pregnancy. She recommended I keep it going as it would be easier for care afterwards, what with all the discharge etc. She also suggested I start taking it lower at the top too, as if I end up with a section they'd shave it. I absolutely hate the feel of shave re-growth so am going to start having a bit more removed between now and birth.

M27J5M · 20/02/2015 23:35

I'm going down the route of waxing but not cos I care what the mw's will think, prefer to have it away for after considering I'll have to wear pads for a while! I HATE pads so feels s bit cleaner etc if there's less hair down there!

blackwidow74 · 20/02/2015 23:41

I haven't seen my under carriage for some time and I know it's out of control but I'd rather not risk injury or infection at this point! I had to have a swab test at the weekend to rule out pre labour and for a moment was horrified that the doctor was going to see my wild growth ... I made light by humming Welcome to the Jungle and suggesting she may want to grab a machete ... she was totally unfazed and told me she's seen all sorts in her time and that when a woman is in the throes of delivery that hair really isn't the focus!!

sophie150 · 20/02/2015 23:46

I don't think they shave you any more for a section- they certainly didn't for my planned section. Shaving means you are more prone to infection.
I had leg/ bikini waxes (high sides only) throughout pregnancy but even the professionals found it hard to reach everywhere whilst I was lying on my side so I'm sure there were random clumps. I couldn't see though so didn't care in the least! They see the full spectrum I'm sure- nothing about childbirth is remotely dignified so I wouldn't worry!

bigoldbird · 20/02/2015 23:47

Crikey, don't times change. When I was having mine the big 'thing' was to stop the midwives shaving you. It was considered barbaric and unnecessary to interfere with your lady garden. I don't suppose they care one way or the other. I will definitely make sure that if I ever find myself in the position of dating again I won't go out with younger men who expect me to be all clean shaven. Though given my age, there's unlikely to be much of that going on anyway.

thenightsky · 20/02/2015 23:52

bigoldbird exactly same for me... fight the good fight against being shaved in labour!

Original poster

jennyB123 · 21/02/2015 08:41

OP here...

Haha some of your replies are brilliant thanks for taking the time...

It has certainly made me feel less worried for the upcoming sweeps/birth.

Some of the replies are totally barbaric! I'm not some porno star weirdo, or not right in the head just because of my question!!

I'm glad iv asked tho...it's been very enlightening...

I will do what I planned! Trim with scissors and shave around the edges. Just for my own selfish peace of mind!!

OP posts:

FragileBrittleStar · 21/02/2015 08:48

I was worried pre birth about this - not really because of how it all looked but because I thought it would be messier! ( it seemed logical at the time) a bikini wax was not a good answer - the pain was horrendous - I was in tears and would gave stopped but I remember thinking that I couldn't because if I couldn't get thru a wax I wouldn't get through child birth. Dsis had told me it wouldn't hurt( I was about 38 weeks) she told me after that she was joking and hadn't realised I would be so stupid

aneesa28 · 21/02/2015 09:29

I was discussing this with someone a couple of data ago and they suggested hair removal cream. On for three minutes and wash off. Sounds awfully convenient, but I'm still debating whether or not to bother!

aneesa28 · 21/02/2015 09:30

*days

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