my guilty/not guilty mum-to-be thread

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Hello there!

I'm 24 weeks and think I'm sort of getting the hang of what should be cut out completely (wine; love you; thanks for the good times; bye), what can be dabbled with (oh this appears to be goats cheese in my salad... just this once?? pretty please???) and what activities may set off the bad momma alarm somewhere in the cosmos but frankly, I don't care anymore.

So in the spirit of that, here are a couple of things that I've read I shouldn't do, and goddammit, I'm going to do them.

Go to concerts

Last night I went to see Elbow. It was REALLY LOUD. I spent much of the night sitting with a jumper folded across my stomach and my arms pressed protectively across that. Son-to-be reacted to this tremendous rumpus by leaping about the most I have ever felt him, proper arms and legs pumping on all sides. Part of me was thinking 'eeep, sorry little friend!' but part of me was thinking, 'oh my god, I love this song, and I'm a grown woman and I'm awake and out of the house with other adults at 10pm, yayayayayay!'

Drink caffeine

So I got home at midnight. And now I'm at work. My eyes are the colour of Malteasers packets and my brain has the texture of tepid rice pudding. Today, I will probably drink three cups of tea. My heartbeat will be artificially raised by the caffeine and my blood flow restricted. I shall counter both of these concerns by raising my heartbeat and bloodflow naturally, by going for a walk at lunchtime, BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE ASLEEP WITH MY FACE IN MY SOUP.

Take that cosmos! Would you like to share your guilty/not guilty activities with me?

Ooh, workingbling good thought on the sandwiches at the deli / corner shop. Hadn't thought of that but makes a lot of sense; quite happy then that I'm sticking to my cheese and ham toastie fastbastardalert

My parents went to a rock concert 3 days before I was born (I was born late) and there's nothing wrong with my hearing

I went to a few drum n bass nights when expecting DS, and you should hear the basslines rumbling out of his room right now

I'll get a day ticket for a local festival in the summer if I'm up to it. I'm pretty sure the reggae stage at boomtown will be it!

I also agree with grockle in principal. There's so much guilt and worry surrounding pregnancy anyway, without scaremongering.

I'm a skier
I'm pregnant
I'm not a skier this year

It's just not worth it; I'm from a family if accomplished skiers and this year 2 have badly hurt themselves, so whilst the bump but might be ok X-rays etc would be an isdue- one was standing up other just slipped
Not being preachy but just a gentle reminder of treatment impact

I made the same choice about Elbow last night! How funny. Well done us for starting them young, I say!

Tricky, I went skiing over New Year at 15 weeks pregnant. I second the comment about centre of gravity- mine was exactly the same as it always was even though I had a bit of a bump by then. I don't think a doctor's advice will be particularly helpful on this unless you have complications attached to your pregnancy. Different doctors will say different things based on their personal view and, often, whether they ski themselves! You can find most of what you need to know on the internet.

I would advise making the decision based on what you feel comfortable doing, taking into account your experience, level of confidence and the conditions. I am a very experienced skier but stuck to easier runs and really enjoyed it. We had bad conditions a couple of days and so I didn't ski at all. Skiing is something I would never take advice from a non-skier about and plenty of women do ski pregnant. You'd have to fall extremely hard at 9 weeks to injure the baby. You could also do this going down stairs etc. It is impossible to avoid all risks in pregnancy and everyone takes some. We all have to weigh up what is important to us and what is less important and therefore not a risk worth taking. I wouldn't eat tinned tomatoes or microwave meals during my first trimester based on the risk of some kind of chemical getting released from the tin / packaging that could cause a miscarriage, but I have felt comfortable having the odd glass of wine during my pregnancy. Others would probably do the opposite. Good luck whatever you decide!

Thanks Chicarubia (good name!). Provided I don't have morning sickness by 9 weeks, I think I will do the same - ski on good condition days, go out early out stick to the easier runs. If conditions are bad I won't ski and I'll take it more gently in the afternoon. I'm not a massive fan of skiing by myself though so this may affect my decision as don't want I hold back the others. Thanks!

I'm 23 weeks and despite starting the pregnancy with an attitude of 'I'll do what I feel is right' I have been incredibly cautious. No runny eggs, no soft cheese except feta, no alcohol (although that's mainly because the smell of it makes me feel ill), no prawns, no smoked salmon - all of which I usually love. I allowed myself to have a medium steak last week after OH had to listen to me moan about how rubbish well done steak was!

I have got 3 concerts booked between now and April though...

I say each to their own.

Before pregnancy my diet was pretty much rare steak, sushi and smoked salmon but I have somehow managed to stay away from all three! With smoked salmon it's very confusing because the NHS says it's okay but my MW told me she wouldn't risk it. And I know in US and Aus they say not to eat it because of the listeria risk.

With steak the risk is toxoplasmosis and again if it did happen that's not just a bit of an upset stomach for me but serious problems for the baby. I dream of rare steak though....

Runny eggs I have only just recently learnt are okay - totally going to have an egg sandwich for breakfast at weekend!!

I've had a glass of champagne and a ton of wine the night before I got BFP and plan to have one on my wedding anniversary next week. The lack of alcohol is killing me though, it's the worst thing....

Concerts I am unsure about. One of my favourite bands is playing when I am 8 months and they are very loud and screamy so I think it's probably best not to go as apparently this can cause a lot of stress to the baby. I'd be happy to go to a gig that was a bit calmer!

Oh glorious sushi...!! That's what I miss most! I know that if the fish has been frozen first it is ok to eat but every time I ask in a restaurant (3 so far) if their fish has been frozen I always get the same answer: "all our fish is fresh". Only once I was told that the scallops and prawns were frozen but these you eat cooked anyways.

I do eat smoked salmon though every now and then and all is good so far.

I would think that most fish at sushi restaurants in the UK is frozen, except for farmed salmon. Where would they be getting freshly caught tuna, etc in the UK anyway - some of the fish used aren't exactly local. Also, plenty of sushi does not have raw fish in it so there should still be plenty of options for you.

Ah yes but when I say sushi I specifically mean lovely raw salmon. I had a bit of an obsession with it! And pretty much all salmon is fresh not frozen I have found out....

babymouse exactly my thinking. But I still prefer to ask and getting these confusing answers I just don't want to take any risk. I had a bad food poisoning from a M&S microwave meal a month ago and it was so bad I now prefer to be on the safe side.

As for types of sushi without raw fish, I do eat them. California rolls, cooked prawns, veggie versions etc. but it's just not the same thing. I am craving a nice portion of fresh sliced salmon and tuna sashimi!

I went to the British Grand Prix when 7 months pregnant with DS.

A few people had a cats bum face when I said where I was going. The same people who questioned my prawn and mayo shrines, uneducated opinionated idiots.....

Shrines?? Sarnies it should say

I went on a water slide at Center Parks!

Officially advised against, but no harm done and it was brilliant!

Farmed salmon, particularly Atlantic salmon (Salmo salar), are not considered to be hosts of Anisakis spp. when fed normal pelleted feed. When 2,832 Norwegian-farmed Atlantic salmon and 876 Scottish-farmed Atlantic smoked salmon fillets were analyzed for anisakid larvae infestation, none were detected (Angot and Brasseur 1993). This result is in agreement with results from previous studies that indicated that farmed salmon (Atlantic, coho, and chinook species) are virtually free from anisakid larvae (Bristow and Berland 1991; Deardoff and Kent 1989).

So basically - farmed salmon should be safe to eat, even if not previously frozen.

I agree about the amount of scaremongering out there and am trying to rely on common sense. So still eating eggs, smoked salmon, cooked seafood etc. I'm being a bit more cautious about cooked/reheated rice though. Once I hit the 12 week mark (I'm nearly at 9) I'm SO having a glass of red wine!

As for exercise, I'm still going to the gym when I can haul my lazy arse out of bed. My sister and MIL were a bit 'er, okay, are you sure? Be careful...!' when I told them, but as long as I feel physically capable of it then I'm not too bothered. I've had a word with one of the trainers, and they said it should be fine. As well as looking after the baby, I have to look after my own sanity too!

dino, I was still teaching Bodypump 9 months pregnant last time, planning to do the same with this one. If you are used to proper exercise, gentle walks just won't cut it. And it is proven that exercise during pregnancy has benefits for both mum and baby.

Thanks HazelNutt, that's what I assumed! If my body is used to it then it's absolutely fine. :-)

I like the idea of a prawn and mayo shrine!

I have been eating all cooked seafood, I've never had food poisoning from anything other than raw oysters so not too worried. I mean I wouldn't eat mussels in a dodgy pub but in a proper restaurant I'm okay. I ate lobster twice last week! Also seafood food poisoning whilst horrible is unlikely to be dangerous to baby unlike some of the other foods.

My pregnant friend got a smoked salmon sandwich from Pret and the server told her off. The cheek!

My friend is pregnant in the US and she is having serious trouble getting a normal cup of coffee.

In contrast, I'm pregnant in France, and if you go to a restaurant and point to your belly when offered the aperitif, the waiters will go "Oh go on, a little is fine, we'll make you a nice light Kir Royal, yes?"

I got told off by our corner shop's owner for buying peanut M&Ms. I did an impressive eye roll.

Peanuts?! Whats wrong with peanuts?