my guilty/not guilty mum-to-be thread

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Hello there!

I'm 24 weeks and think I'm sort of getting the hang of what should be cut out completely (wine; love you; thanks for the good times; bye), what can be dabbled with (oh this appears to be goats cheese in my salad... just this once?? pretty please???) and what activities may set off the bad momma alarm somewhere in the cosmos but frankly, I don't care anymore.

So in the spirit of that, here are a couple of things that I've read I shouldn't do, and goddammit, I'm going to do them.

Go to concerts

Last night I went to see Elbow. It was REALLY LOUD. I spent much of the night sitting with a jumper folded across my stomach and my arms pressed protectively across that. Son-to-be reacted to this tremendous rumpus by leaping about the most I have ever felt him, proper arms and legs pumping on all sides. Part of me was thinking 'eeep, sorry little friend!' but part of me was thinking, 'oh my god, I love this song, and I'm a grown woman and I'm awake and out of the house with other adults at 10pm, yayayayayay!'

Drink caffeine

So I got home at midnight. And now I'm at work. My eyes are the colour of Malteasers packets and my brain has the texture of tepid rice pudding. Today, I will probably drink three cups of tea. My heartbeat will be artificially raised by the caffeine and my blood flow restricted. I shall counter both of these concerns by raising my heartbeat and bloodflow naturally, by going for a walk at lunchtime, BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE ASLEEP WITH MY FACE IN MY SOUP.

Take that cosmos! Would you like to share your guilty/not guilty activities with me?

Oh, and luckily I've only had one person so far try and police what I'm eating, but woe betide anyone else who tries. I can't be held responsible for my actions at such a time...

Lorelai I believe the lion stamp on eggs means the chickens have been vaccinated against selmonella.

either way, I'm not giving up my runny yolks!

My DTs went to see Imagine Dragons, Black Crowes and Robbie Williams in utero. I considered it a broad musical education.

I had rare steak, as long as the outside was seated. I ate smoked salmon like it was going out of fashion (both girls love it at 17 months!!) and I went on holiday and sunbathed (but worried in the evenings that I'd 'boiled them in the bag'!!)

I drank occasionally but coffee made me physically sick.

There's no guidance about smoked salmon, eat that with no guilt

I'm eating several runny eggs a week. I ate my body weight in goats cheese in a restaurant on Saturday night, along with half a glass of prosecco. When pregnant with my first child I went to see Mark Ronson - this time I am booked to see FooFighters when 7 months pregnant.

stubborn I would be wary of the jacuzzi www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2402.aspx?CategoryID=54#close

tricky you should check that your ski insurance is still valid when pregnant.

Grocklebox what's with the language and the clever Dick attitude?? Tricky asked a question and I gave a reasonable advice to check with a doctor. IMHO, going alpine skiing in early pregnancy (when risk of MC is highest) without speaking to a specialist and getting all clear would be a daft thing to do. Following your doctors advice isn't bogus. I don't know what kind of "non-bogus" guidelines you normally follow in your pregnancy but I can only wish you luck.

Too many woman are advised by people who don't have the first clue what they are talking about, leading to a lot of unecessary stress. Advice like your centre of gravity changing....not in the first trimester it doesn't!
Apply some logic, don't just repeat half heard, misunderstood rumour and rubbish. And yes, bogus guidelines. Try to understand why you are doing what you are doing.
If you have a problem with that, I couldn't care less. I'm merely trying to empower woman to trust their own intelligence and work things out for themselves.
No luck needed, thanks, just science and logic. Something you might want to try out.

grockle do yourself a favour and read posts properly before commenting, let alone getting aggressive. The only ADVICE I gave Tricky was to check with a doctor. I don't ADVICE on centres of gravity to changing. You're talking nonsense. And again, watch your language.

P.S.: A first time mom doesn't automatically have the intelligence for all things pregnancy related and for some things asking a specialist is indeed the most reasonable thing to do. TreadSoftly did ask and got green light! and that was the right thing to do. If you chose to follow a different strategy it's your own decision but don't discourage other women to speak to doctors, ESPECIALLY when it is obvious that they are unsure about smth. I'm done arguing with you, it's a waste of time.

"watch your language"

seriously??

If you feel I have broken any guidelines, feel free to report my posts. Give the advice on language a rest though. And since you're so careful with language, the word is advise not advice.

I'm not discouraging anyone from seeking advice from professionals. I'm telling them to be wary of advice from clueless randoms on the internet.

Never mind runny eggs, I eat carbonara (with, essentially, raw eggs) about once a fortnight. And hell yes to the cake mix. Lion marked though.

Also drinking as much tea as I want (but I drink weak earl grey so very low caffeine) and the odd small glass bottle of coke. I saw the Kaiser Chiefs last week. It was loud, but I was sitting down and not right next to speakers . Incredibly jealous about Elbow!

I have however given up most of the things I love including rare steak, red wine, riding my horse, and yes a skiing holiday. I might have done it very early but will be 20 weeks when it's booked for, which is not really a risk worth taking in my book. Red wine will be going on my once a week list soon though! 16 weeks now so I reckon it's ok.

Wow things have got a little heated! I'm very grateful for the advice (and people taking the time to advise).

Grockle re your comment about taking advice from clueless people on the internet (paraphrasing). Isn't this the whole point of MN? To gather people's thoughts etc?!

I will obviously take the advice of a professional but it's always nice to hear others' thoughts. Sue and Grockle I suggest you kiss and make up!

Thanks for your advice all. Oh and just a thought... everyone makes typos on MN (due to autocorrect) so correcting people's typos is always irritating when it's quite clear what was intended!

My MW told me runny YOLKS are fine to eat, just that the white had to be thoroughly cooked. So don't worry!

I drink caffeine (in the form of diet soda). I stay under 200 mg a day, but you do NOT want to be around me if I don't have my caffeine. No, you're not at a safe distance just because you're in the UK and I'm in the US.

hot tub at the gym - max 5 mins though - then back in the pool which cools me down quick

I read Expecting Better quite early on, and have used the principles in there to guide me. So for example runny eggs might (tiny risk) cause Salmonella. It will make you feel a bit crap, but won't directly harm the baby. Yet rare steak might cause toxoplasmosis, which could cross the placenta and be harmful to the baby, so I've chosen to avoid it.

It also takes a lot about the actual quality of the research behind the various guidelines, and talks about caffeine levels, alcohol, anomaly testing etc. It was a pretty decent read I thought, and not too expensive for the kindle.

The day before I took my test I had runny eggs, soft cheese and beer, following the ignorance is bliss idea! TBH I thought being pg was too good to be true and I was kidding myself. Don't feel guilty though - my 32 week bumps fine (and wriggly!).

I went into labour at 2am at a festival

Walked off early contractions listening to the dregs of some live folk music

Then went home for a bath :)

EhricLovesTheBhrothers:
"I went into labour at 2am at a festival

Walked off early contractions listening to the dregs of some live folk music

Then went home for a bath"

OMG you're my hero. I'm looking forward to going to festivals again with child in tow but I can't imagine doing it pregnant. Sitting on the floor? Sleeping on the floor? HAVING TO KEEP GETTING UP OFF THE FLOOR??! Portaloos??? Yikes.

I went to Iceland last week and spent two hours wallowing in the Blue Lagoon thermal spring. Every time I found myself getting a bit perspirey, I stuck my bump out or scrambled up the beach a bit and sat in the snow.

All I'm saying is that it both annoys and saddens me to see so many women worried and stressed about doing things they think might be "wrong" or harmful somehow, because other people give them bad advice. It's not fair to them. I also think there is a patronising, infantilising, attitude to pregnant women, the new accepted attitude from many seems to be that we shouldn't do anything that might possibly be of slight theoretical risk to a foetus, as if we don't exist as people in our own right anymore and aren't allowed to think for ourselves or do anything to please ourselves.

I just want us all to be a little bit calmer, a bit happier, more relaxed, and in charge of our own bodies and lives. Surely thats something we can all get behind?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers LOL!! I was going to book tickets for Santana at the O2 for 1 week before my due date. Hubby put a veto on that. He said he doesn't want to fight his way through masses of ppl with me in tow being in labour and then risk ending up in a traffic jam on the other end of London. Boo!

(this was quitepossibly the wrong thread for all that anyway, I just reached a limit )

my guilty mum confession is getting on my horse for a quick 15 minute ride a few weeks ago after stopping at about 18wks, he has the temperament of a saint and has always looked after me, my mum rode him first and he was being his usual well behaved self so I jumped on for a spin...felt great! Although I hadn't realised how much heavier I was until I heaved myself up into the saddle please don't tell my OH!!

Food wise I'm generally being good the odd tea or can of coke when I fancy one! 29+2

Had a coke yesterday and it was glorious :)

We're also going to a gig - Foo Fighters when I'm about 6 months. I can't wait and the baby needs to learn that this is a rock household ASAP!