First timers-has pregnancy been what you expected?

[ChickenMe]

Hi!
I'm in the third trimester of my first pregnancy. I'm finding it a bit of a learning curve and the baby is not even here yet!
What have you found surprising about being pregnant? Things no one tells you about? How have you changed?

For me:

1. I did not anticipate the exhaustion and extreme hormones. I would never have believed it.
2. I have already become a lot more assertive. I care a lot less about upsetting people.
3. Pregnancy can put a strain on your relationships and also, people around you change too.

Really interested to hear what other people think as all of my friends had their babies some years ago and cannot really remember pregnancy too well!

I'm only 14 weeks, but god no, it hasn't been what I expected at all.

For me:

1. Miscarried my first pregnancy. I had no idea how common that was until I was pregnant and started desperately trying to learn everything.

2. OH GOD THE EXHAUSTION! I always genuinely thought women who complained about this were being precious delicate flowers. Sorry other women! :(

3. The hormones. I am psychologically non functional about half of the time.

4. I feel hideously ugly. I have gained a shitload of uneccessary weight (I thought i would just eat normally and avoid this but every time I got hungry I felt like i would cry and throw up at the same time), and I feel like a fat blob. I expected to feel beautiful and proud of what my body was doing. :(

5. The constipation. People talk about morning sickness (which i didn't get) but not this?! I've never been constipated in my life before!

Nope, not how I expected at all- 32 weeks and still nauseated, struggling to put weight on, exhausted. No blooming at any stage, if I wasn't obviously pregnant you would think I was struggling through serious illness!
And no one tells you that baby will kick downwards directly onto your cervix, especially at awkward, inappropriate times and you will not be able to hide the shocked expression on your face!

Nope. 26 weeks now, still puking in the morning, which is pleasant

And yes, the constipation, and oh god the snotty/scabby nose.

First trimester I was amazed how tired I was. Now I'm amazed (well, gutted really) how hard I'm finding it to breathe at times. Never thought I'd have to leap off a bus early for fear of passing out either.

Oh, and I also never thought that hormones would make me want to cry because a strawberry was too delicious. Or because the guy in the coffee shop gave me two loyalty stamps because it was Christmas. Good grief.

Totally not what I expected. TV lies to us and it's not just a blissful montage from first POAS to screaming labour - who knew?!

I mcd my first too, and the most surprising things were how little the NHS cared and how many other women of my acquaintance told me about their mcs. There's still such a taboo with talking about it, it's ridiculous when it happens to so many of us.

You know about morning sickness and food aversions and cravings and have a vague notion of 'blooming' mid-pregnancy. I didn't really know about the exhaustion, constipation, nose bleeds, weird nipple goings-on, thrush, not being able to use your normal meds, general head fuzziness, heartburn, difficulty breathing, difficulty sleeping, not being able to sleep comfortably, weird occasional panic feelings about having a parasite inside you, the anxiety all the damn time that something's wrong and the worry you'll be a shit parent. And the uninvited belly-patting. And then all the 'advice' about what or what not to do and the inevitable subsequent guilt. I'm exhausted already and I'm only just halfway through!

Things I didn't expect -

1. the mad sense of smell. I can still make out an unwashed armpit at thirty paces.
2. the dehydration in the first trimester.
3. the hunger in the first trimester - and still a bit now at 37w.
4. the fact I everyone says 'you're looking trim for 37 weeks'. I'm normally a size 14 with big boobs. I am not a naturally slim person. Yet I have become a slim pregnant person. That's not a stealth boast, I'm genuinely surprised I haven't piled on at least 3stone.
5. Chronic pelvic pain. Hadn't heard if it before. Can't wait to get rid of it!
6. I haven't 'loved every minute' of being pregnant. I had visions of wholesome loveliness and it's been fascinating but a little, erm, unexciting at times.
7. Work being completely supportive.

Not what I expected at all! I also miscarried my first pregnancy, its not until that happens that you realise how common it it
Got pregnant again within 6 weeks & have had a dream pregnancy (smug face here). No sickness, no extra tiredness, no issues. Have been a bit more emotional but I'm quite dramatic anyway cried earlier on when my husband moaned at me for dragging mud through the house, cried like someone had died, big horrible sobs! Got over it quickly though.
Biggest shock for me is that pregnancy/labour is not what you see in the films lol. I'm 39 weeks & 4days, due on Friday, & keep expecting my waters to break dramatically like you see on tv. Only about 15% of women experience this, for some it's a trickle, or waters don't go until the pushing part. I've been fooled my whole life lol

Littlecaf haha I'm usually a 10/12 with a fair chest, but short, so not exactly skinny. I also apparently am "looking small" for 6 months. And I am also astounded that I haven't ballooned more than I have. Still time I suppose...

Littlecaf, I'm the same as you! Keep being told my bump looks "very neat". I'm usually a size 14-16 & have only put on 8lbs but doesn't make me slim by any stretch just lucky I guess.

No, nothing like I imagined!

I'd read it all and knew what to expect theoretically, but experiencing it is just so different.

I thought I'd enjoy it but so far I've just felt crap all day every day. Then I feel guilty for feeling so negative.

Nope. Nothing like I imagined here either. For a start I'm only now at 25 weeks actually realising I am going to have a baby (well two actually) despite visibly showing for a while. Not sure whether this is an ivf thing or general disbelief that finally it is my mat leave work are arranging, it is my pregnancy people are discussing etc.
Other things:

• itchy scalp and then really itchy bump and boobs
• constipation. Sorted now with prune juice but my goodness I thought I was giving birth at one point I had to strain so much!
• that for a period of time after 12 weeks until you have a definite bump you just feel fat and not glowing, happy to embrace a pregnant body. Fat.
• that SPD can start as early as 13 weeks and can be absolutely debilitating if you're on your feet all day

But on a positive note, I didn't realise how absolutely amazing each scan would be in terms of the detail I can see nor how mind blowing it is when you start to really feel movements rather than fluttering....even when it is quite literally a punch below the belt!

And finally, how much of a squeak I'd let out at the size of their first sleep suit

Hhmm where to start

How about 16 weeks of 'morning' sickness swiftly followed by zero appetite which has resulted in me losing weight (gone down two clothes sizes were an 18 now a 14) midwife is not happy about that .

When I do try to eat I can't because of the amount of pain it leaves me in thanks to the horrendous indigestion .

Nobody told me about SPD & how debilitating it is , I can't even make it downstairs without been in complete agony , I want to go shopping but physically can't so everything is done online which sucks - I haven't left the house properly in 6 months

Chronic insomnia , I can go days without sleeping despite feeling like I cant keep my eyes open & the lack of sleep results in me getting a migraine .

Also not been able to take my regular medication which has to be the worst part of this tbh .

I never want to do Thai again

I'm 33+2 & beyond jealous of my sister who is getting induced this week

*This

Dunno where Thai came from

Yes yes to dehydration in first trimester. God I forgot that! And constipation and being scared to push.
I also (in my head) pooh-poohed tales of fatigue and baby brain. But seriously, I think "ooh I must do x" go into the next room and its forgotten.

Sorry to all those who have had MC. I too didn't realise, pre-pregnancy, how common it was. I'd previously thought it was a rarity.

I was not prepared for how much I would love the baby from the minute I got a +ve. And not prepared for how possessive I would feel!

1 - I conceived in the first month (I'd convinced myself I was infertile for no reason)
2 - I miscarried - never even considered that might happen
3 - It's taken me until this week (24 weeks) to realise we're actually going to have a baby.
4 - Oh my God the crapness of the 1st trimester. Did not plan on having to stop mid-way to work to puke, nor on the whole bed straight after work thing. And the stress of not knowing if it's still ok or not!
5 - The 2nd trimester being so much easier than the first, physically and mentally
6 - Bonding with the baby without trying - didn't think I'd speak to him/her without thinking about it. I also constantly find myself rubbing my bump like I'm soothing the baby.
7 - The amazingness of scans/hearing the heartbeat and feeling movements
8 - The breathlessness
9 - The thirst
10 - And most of all the hunger!!

No

1. I assumed like above poster it would take at least a few months if not much longer to get pregnant...first month of trying pregnant.
2. I seemed to have had short term memory loss and forgot that twins can be conceived naturally and that is what happened..cue shock and of course best surprise of our lives. 3)I had not heard of HG before. I did not think I would have it. I am now well versed on the symptoms. I foolishly foolishly thought morning sickness was only in the mornings and limited to once a day. 4)I was not expecting my emotions to be so extreme and all over the place. The amount of times i have cried...and for the most varied reasons. Once cried due to us running out of tomato sauce. 5)I was not expecting to look so big and feel so much bigger at only 12 weeks.
3. constipation
4. comfort and any aftershave can be picked up by nose from a distance. Never did I think I would hate the aftershaves I've chose for my DH so much.
5. I look awful. I foolishly thought my fortnightly salons visits would increase to weekly as I bloomed. I haven't step foot inside a salon since the 7th week when HG hit. Currently I have slugs for eyebrows.
6. I was imagining there would be a few scans. A few midwife appointments. The rest of the time Mother Nature would do its thing and I would have flowing locks of hair and beautiful skin as I carry out yoga for mums to be. Instead I have spent a lot of time at hospitals. Extra scans. Extra appointments and my appearance is shit. I also worry I would vomit over the yoga mat.
7. it's not been what I expected so far...currently 16 weeks but aside of the above I wouldn't change it for anything as long as I can meet my bundles of joy. :)

I suppose what this shows is everyone is different - just like us and all those babies out there.

Another weird thing...... Relationships with some friends changing.......

Noticing on FB my mates are tagging each other out drinking and didn't invite me ('we thought you wouldn't fancy it being preggers' - well yes, but I can pop along for an OJ for half an hour - I'm pregnant not ill) and people treating you with kid gloves 'no, don't come into town for a nice dinner in this lovely restaurant we've planned for ages, we'll come to yours for a take away, that'll be much easier for you'......

To my already mummy friends 'call me whenever, even at 2am, I'll be awake' and 'we have a Moses basket, a bouncer and 50 muslins you can have, no need to buy anything new'. The only thing we have new are mattresses, car seat and pram! Everything else second hand or borrowed from reliable and kind friends. Very grateful. I had to start making a list or I'll forget whom has lent us what!

I honestly expected to have all the symptoms the only symptom I've had is tiredness and I'm not even sure if that's pregnancy related or related to my severely low bp.

I also didn't expect to worry this much about every little twinge because people enjoy pregnancy and I'm 10 weeks and just feel scared all the time :( I'm actually dreading my 12 week scan when I should be excited.

Erm no not at all seeing as I totally missed my pregnancy appart from the last 6 weeks of it....

I always thought it was morning sickness, swollen feet and backache and I had none of that!

However the overwhelming generosity of people was and still is incredible. Everyone has been absolutely amazing and I have never had so much support in my entire life.

Arkkorox
Sorry for being nosey does that mean you was unaware you was pregnant for the majority of it?

I'm 26 weeks.

• I was expecting to have morning sickness, as I thought the majority did, so was freaked out when I felt normal.
• I've become more assertive, which I am pleased about!
• I am surprised I haven't been very hormonal yet - haven't had a hormonal cry yet!
• I was expecting SPD, awful backache, stretch marks, swollen feet - although I think these might be to come in the 3rd tri!!
• I was expecting to feel more soppy about my bump
• I am absolutely loving doing all the research, there is so much to learn! My internet book marks are all organised and I have about 10000 of them!
• I was surprised how anxious I was during the first half of the pregnancy, worrying about absolutely everything! Luckily this has worn off now that I can feel the baby kicking so much :) I love it :)
• I haven't been able to breathe through my nose for 26 weeks, which was definitely unexpected and is getting old now, and yes, the constipation!! Had to give myself an enema before I even found out I was pregnant, constipation seemed to start as soon as I conceived!!

Having said all that I wasn't expecting to get pregnant yet anyway, so it's ALL a surprise really!! :)

Yup!! I have a thread on here about the whole thing.

Found out I was 35 weeks at my first scan. Has been the most stressful few months of my whole life ( lived with my grandmother who died just before dd was born and we've just lost DPs dad suddenly) but dd is 9 weeks now and just amazing! Very lucky she's all healthy and happy as I fell off my horse twice at probably 29 and 32 weeks!

Littlehopeful I was exactly the same, so worried! Hopefully you'll relax and start enjoying it more as your pregnancy progresses :)

I loved your story ark! How is DD doing?

X post :) aw lovely

Not really... I had some mad idea from films that morning sickness would just involve a quick cheery spew when I got up, rather than the interminable day long hangover-type nausea. It took a while to get my head round how bad I actually felt and that it was normal.

I didn't expect to feel so emotionally invested and bonded with my baby right from the start. I didn't expect to basically see a little person at the 12 week scan.

I didn't expect to like being pregnant, overall, as much as I actually have. Third trimester now, and although I'll be glad to have my body back to myself, I'm going to miss the kicks and feeling of having a little pal around all the time.

That's amazing you've had such a tough time! So happy your DD is healthy congratulations