Finally pregnant! Did you really wait until 12weeks to tell everyone?

[whizzyrocket]

It's taken us over a year but we've finally put a (second) bun in the oven! Hurrah! I want to shout it from the rooftops, talk it over constantly, start to plan and prepare and generally be openly happy!

Trouble is, I'm only six weeks pregnant. I know why people wait until the 12 week mark, but did you? And if you have older children (my little boy is three) when did you tell them? We live counties apart from our family so he doesn't see them enough to spill the beans.

It's interesting reading the messages on this thread. One point I think it's important to remember is that just because you don't tell people before 12 weeks (or whenever) it doesn't mean you can't tell anyone if something goes wrong. The two are not mutually exclusive. With my first two pregnancies, I called my parents straight away for support and I talk about my losses openly with friends. As a PP said, it's not about shame.

Congratulations again, OP!

I'm almost 12 weeks, have the scan later this week to see if the pregnancy is viable. I have only told my parents and PIL. Two local mums know in case I miscarry and need practical support with my two DC. I wouldn't have told anyone otherwise....

My DC are 7 and 4 and they don't know that I am pregnant yet. They don't need to know until I am told the pregnancy is viable and I have a scan picture to show them.

My eldest didn't know I was pregnant with my youngest until I was visibly pregnant. There was no need to, as he was only coming up for three at the time and too young to get it.

It saves a lot of heart ache if you hold back and told tell your DC for as long as you possibly can until they're of an age to understand that pregnancy does not always end well. That's just my way of looking at it, but I come from the perspective of two previous MMCs.

I would wait, but that's due to my history. I told people the first time at 8 weeks - then had to cope with questions two weeks later when I had had a MC (and didn't feel like talking to any one).

With DD, I didn't tell until 13 weeks. I think next time I might just keep schtum until it becomes obvious...

Congratulations!

My situation was slightly unusual. I have a very physically challenging job with a high likelihood of being kicked in the stomach several times a day lol. The only way around telling work, would have been to pretend to have a back injury or similar which would have been very difficult to keep up, and I'm a terrible liar. Even in that case, my bosses would have had to know because they'd need a doctor's note to put me on other duties. Because of this, my bosses and close colleagues knew very early on, and we told our parents too because it didn't seem right that work knew and they didn't. People were sworn to secrecy though. I had 2 early scans due to bleeding, and when everything was on track after the second one, we told close friends and family (around 9 weeks). Then we told everyone else after the 12 week scan.

I think the decision is something so personal. I didn't mind people knowing, what bothers me is how frowned-upon it is to tell people before 12 weeks. It should be down to individual people to do what they want, without fear of judgement. I have a friend who has just lost her baby at 21 weeks, so there really is never a 'safe' time.

We told family and best friends straight away, flew back to UK at 12 weeks for our "wedding party" and told everyone else then.

Same with DS2. We have early scans here so told friends and family straight off - I don't remember telling DS1 that we were having a baby though, but I guess he was only just shy of 2 years so really didn't have the cognition.

If I were to have a third, I'd probably wait as long as possible to tell the kids, just from the point of view that if it feels long for us adults to wait for the baby to arrive, it would feel like a lifetime for eager siblings!