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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Have a bad feeling - any way I can check baby is ok without going to docs?

40 replies

freshlysharpenedpencils · 06/02/2015 10:54

The bad feeling is most likely exasperated by me missing my 16 week check up (where I think they check the heartbeat) because I had the flu/ or a really bad cold.

Called the MW to re-schedule but they cant see me until the end of the month now. I haven't felt any kicks (but i know it's early) but i thought I felt one a week ago when I was in the bath.

Ive just got a really bad feeling that something is wrong - and now i won't know till the end of the month. Is there anything i can do at home to see if baby is ok? (my 12 week scan was fine) its my second baby and i just don't feel the same / no symptoms/ no sickness and just a general awful feeling/ depression.

I'm really struggling to be honest and don't know what to do.

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SweetsForMySweet · 06/02/2015 11:34

I would ring your midwife again and express your concerns. The mw may be able to offer you a cancelled or emergency appointment slot. I am further along but I have felt very hormonal and tearful this pregnancy, very different from my last pregnancy. You could try drinking a glass of cold water or having something to eat and see if it unsettles the baby or try lying still for a while (I feel a lot more movement when resting this time). You could buy a doppler/fetal heart monitor (mothercare& pharmacies sell them) but it may be a little early to pick up the heart beat until later in the pregnancy and may cause you to worry more (unnecessarily) if you couldn't hear it. Could you have another bath to see if you feel movement that way?

ThunderboltKid · 06/02/2015 11:49

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This has been withdrawn at poster's request

Zahrah5 · 06/02/2015 11:56

they dont check for heartbeat at 16w appt.

For me, they did it only at 25w appt and was told they dont do it at 16w so essentially between your 12w scan and 20w scan nothing is being checked on the baby as a norm.

I had private scan at 17w so was not worried, but certainly it is reasuring to start feeling movements.

I dont think you should be worried for the above reasons, it is hard empty period before you start feeling the movements and those worries are normal.

I think your only options are either to wait for your appt to come through or go to clininc in person to see if someone can see you earlier. My hospital told me that also GP visit can be done instead of midwife appt if one is not available but again not sure what they would do in term of fetal wellbeing if they dont listen to baby before 25w. They could certainly check the urine.

If you are really worried then go for private scan. They could do pre-anatomy scan so at least you will be calmer for your 20 weeks scan. I had my private anatomy at 17w+ some days and it was fine.

TeaandHobnobs · 06/02/2015 11:57

Could you go for a private scan for reassurance? Even with a second baby, it is still very early to feel movement - I didn't feel consistent movement (i.e. that I was sure was the baby) until 20 weeks the second time. I know it is very hard when you feel anxious though

applecore0317 · 06/02/2015 12:50

same where I am, they don't listen to thr heartbeat until your 25 week appointment. The midwife listened to it at my 16 week appointment due to some complications I had had, so she did it to reassure me, not the norm though. I paid for a private scan at just under 18 weeks, cost 60 pounds, was worth it for peace of mind.

have you got your twenty week scan booked?

applecore0317 · 06/02/2015 12:51

also I had the odd flicker of movement from around 17 weeks, wasnt till I was 20 weeks that I could feel more often. Also depends on where yout placenta is lying

Swanny84 · 06/02/2015 13:27

16 week mw app wouldn't reassure you baby is fine anyway, dont beat yourself up for missing it. They don't usually check heartbeat. I have a reassurance scan booked in next week just as I feel it's a long wait between 12-20 week scan. I use my Doppler regularly and love it but when I was early in preg I couldn't find it often and was really stressful. I'm nearly 16 weeks with 3rd baby and still worry. Think it's normal. If your able to, book yourself a private scan. Xx

makesomenoise · 06/02/2015 13:57

All areas are different, for all of my 3 pregnancies across 2 dr's practices, I have had the hb listened to by midwife at 16 wk appointment.

Its more than likely all is well, but call your midwife and ask for an extra appointment, she should be fine to fit you in and check for heartbeat. All the best.

pinkie1982 · 06/02/2015 14:14

Mine don't listen to the heartbeat at all now. I had my 16 week check yesterday. It was just urine test, BP, telling you to make a diary of movements after 23w and telling me my blood test results from last time were ok and sticking them in my book. They booked another appointment for 25 weeks.

Don't worry, I doubt yours would have done much different.

My symptoms disappeared completely three weeks ago but I've got nausea the last few days again.

seaoflove · 06/02/2015 14:22

It IS early to be feeling movement, so try not to worry about that.

It's a really anxious time, and I know how hard it is not being able to see whether the baby is ok. In all likelihood everything is fine, and you're letting your anxiety get the better of you. Call your midwife again. She might be able to fit you in for a quick listen in with the Doppler.

I know midwives don't have to check the heartbeat at 16 weeks, but during both my pregnancies they have (in 2001, and just before Christmas) so it's not a given that she will refuse to check for you.

blackwidow74 · 06/02/2015 14:25

Call your surgery ... express your concern and say you are stressing out and is it possible just for a doc/nurse to have a listen ... They should get you in today to put your mind at rest ... The amount of times I've rung in tears !!

Original poster

freshlysharpenedpencils · 06/02/2015 14:26

thank you everyone - no I dont have my 20 week scan booked in - I dont know when they arrange this? But they didn't mention it at 12 week one and obvs haven't seen the MW since.

I had a mini breakdown after writing this post and actually have an appointment this afternoon because i called and said I think I have antenatal depression. I don't know if it is this - I just don't feel right. My first pregnancy I was so happy and ... this time I just feel nothing. Mostly - it's hard to find the words really. But I dont know what else to do so I'm going to the doctors and Im so worried about it/ I feel so ashamed and Im so worried about what they will say.

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Original poster

freshlysharpenedpencils · 06/02/2015 14:28

thanks to you all for being so nice

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SirVixofVixHall · 06/02/2015 14:30

My midwife listened to the heartbeat at every appointment. But I agree that if you feel really worried then call your midwife, explain you feel something is wrong, and they will see you I'm sure. Or get a GP appointment. Don't go by your previous pregnancy though, as each one is different.

ImperialBlether · 06/02/2015 14:32

Oh you poor thing.

I'm sure your doctor will be reassuring. Second pregnancies are always different, so don't worry about that. Come back and let us know how you get on, won't you?

seaoflove · 06/02/2015 14:33

2001? I meant 2011, not that it matters

Don't be ashamed. Maybe you do have depression/anxiety at the moment. There's no shame in it. Seek help, because there will be help out there for you.

Original poster

freshlysharpenedpencils · 06/02/2015 14:38

I dont know what to say when I get there. I know i will just sit there and cry and I hate that.

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RL20 · 06/02/2015 14:39

Like someone else said, every pregnancy can be different so please try and not worry.

Although I am a worrier so I know how you feel, I've called the midwife on 2 occasions now, one being yesterday morning and I ended up driving to the maternity unit at hospital at 6am after calling them. Thankfully everything was ok and as soon as the midwife put the straps and monitor around my belly, he started kicking! I'm a bit further along than you at 29 weeks but I don't think that I had any/much movements that I could feel around 16 weeks.

And I also didn't get to hear the heartbeat at my midwife appointment at 16 weeks, although I did have a private reassurance scan where I did get to hear. I then heard the heartbeat again at my 20 week scan.

Hopefully your doctor might be able to push to get a scan for you to put your mind at rest or at least so you can see your midwife sooner x

SirVixofVixHall · 06/02/2015 14:42

Sorry I cross posted with you. I'm glad you have an appointment. Don't feel silly for crying, clearly you are anxious and feeling down generally and the GP won't expect you to put a breave face on. It will be good for her to see how you really are feeling. Hopefully she/he will reassure you and that might be enough. You could be running low in iron or something simple like that, that is affecting your mood and energy levels. to you and best of luck.

SirVixofVixHall · 06/02/2015 14:43

sorry brave not breave. Typing too fast!

RL20 · 06/02/2015 14:44

I've just read your latest comment. I'm exactly the same. The first time I rang the midwife I just burst into tears and couldn't get my words out. When I got to the hospital yesterday morning, I was directed up to the 4th floor and as I don't like going in lifts I stupidly walked up the stairs which was 2 flights of stairs for each floor! When I got to the top I couldn't catch my breath and the midwife said "oh no why didn't you take the lift?" And I just burst into tears as I was trying to say "I don't like lifts!".
And then the tears came again when I heard the heartbeat!

I've been so so so emotional during pregnancy and it doesn't take me much at all for my hormones to be all over the place. I also think it's anxiety and I'm constantly over-thinking things, but what doesn't help is the unknown, so you really do need to have your mind reassured to help the anxiety.

Original poster

freshlysharpenedpencils · 06/02/2015 14:44

thank you x

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Original poster

freshlysharpenedpencils · 06/02/2015 14:48

thank you RL20 - I have just been in bed all morning weeping - for what reason I don't know. I am finding it so hard to engage with my toddler (who is charging about unfazed). I thought I'd get through the call to the receptionist - but it all just tumbled down and it makes me feel so stupid to sound like that to a stranger. I feel embarrassed / ashamed that I have put that sort of thing on her! That's how silly I am.

OP posts:

RL20 · 06/02/2015 15:27

Don't feel stupid. They won't be fazed by it at all- the doctors or the midwives. They will have seen it 1000 times before even of you do feel like the only person that's ever felt like that. I know I've felt like that and it still comes and goes now x

RL20 · 06/02/2015 15:29

I can't relate to having another child but for weeks in the beginning of my pregnancy I didn't want to interact much with my partners young daughter. Whereas I always have done before. I can't really explain why though. I sometimes still feel like that now x

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