just curious was I the only one who loved having visitors?

[franca70]

so, having seen the other thread on visitors policy after childbirth and completely understanding the motivations and emphatizing personal experiences, was I the only one who enjoyed having people around, like the more the merrier kind of thing?

I didnt mind visitors in the hospital etc but at home we over did it when we had Ds so I hardly told anyone I came home when we had DD so that Ds had time to get used to her etc. Will do the same this time.

I loved it too, I was so proud of both dss and wanted everyone to admire them and join in our happiness.

congratulations on your pregnancy nastynemo. yes I didn't think about siblings. second time round, when I had dd we were here in england (we are not english) so, no one actually came to see us (tears of self pity, actually I remember being alone with baby in the ward and a nice lady visiting someone else, probably a new granmother, stopped by and asked me how I was and what was baby's name... more tears of self pity....etc)

I liked having family visit as they were quite useful in the kitchen, etc. Friends were nice but I had to make an effort to be hostess - lazy I know

also useful having other women around to complain about sore nibbles, stitches, lochia, etc (yes, my mum was absolutely useless, but she made pasta)

With first ds I was in Hospital for almost 3 days, my choice, not really beacause it was necessary, but I felt I needed the reassurance, lol, and I would have loved more visitors, with ms I was only in for labour and the night, lol...so, didn't really matter!
With ys, I really would have needed more Visitors, but it wasn't possible, it really upset me, and wasn't helped by the other girl having loads of Visitors, made me even more aware of how lil I was visited, sigh!

I enjoyed visitors, mind you, mine were all kind and considerate and didn't outstay their welcome.

I'm with Nemo, it was fun in the hospital, but I am definitely setting limits after I come home! I was wayyyy too accommodating with ds.

lol malory they must have been lovely for you post it several times
Oh, what I did find disappointing in Ni was that even after we got out of Hossie it seemed to have been me doing the visits...because otherwise I would have gone mad....but come on, I had a C-section and lived up on top of a hill and was looking after 3 Kids...someone could have come round and seen to me, asking me did I need help....I know I would if someone else was in that situation!

I posted on the other thread and like I said there, I appreciated every meal that was cooked, every gift that was given, and every person that cared enough to come around.

I do have to say that the people around me were nothing but helpful (even if all they did was bring a pizza ) If I was around people that just wanted to hold the baby and bother me then it would be a different story.

i liked visitors that came and did not expect waiting on hand and foot considering 1st time round - very ill baby, dd2 - toddler with sn, new baby and recovering from c-section.

Two examples with dd2 -

couple of women came round to visit - handed me the cake on their way in and told me coffee and tea requirements - so cross thought I would explode - figured get the cake and coffee done and they would leave quite quickly - never again. I had only been home from hospital two days!

another friend arrived - with meals for the freezer and apologised she had not made more!! ( told her no need really) then made afternoon tea for her and I - as well as bringing picnic afternoon tea for her two children and dd1 - all I had to do with sit with dd2 and feed her and that was it - this friend could come anytime - she got it.

Other friends just popped over the day I got home from hospital with dinner for two nights - had a quick peek at dd2 ( they had seen her in hosp) and then left.

Friends who can appreciate that you are exhausted and still caring for other children - especially ones with sn make a big difference. I still think I would prefer some of them to come to the hospital and see the baby rather than land on me at home when all I wanted to do was slob in my old pjs and sleep!!

I was actually quite gutted that I didn't get any visitors except my mum and dad. Everyone stayed away including PIL.

Dh had been strictly briefed not to run a tea making service as well.

Yes, I'm glad somebody has said it. I too loved having visitors the more the merrier. I am a social person though, and get very bored if no one to talk to. I had my ds whilst I was away from home, (mad i know, but I figured a hospital is a hospital, he was already 5 days overdue and we were fed up so packed the car and went up country to stay with my sis) so really missed having visitors in hospital. We came home 3 days after he was born and i couldn't wait for everone to start visiting. They were all really helpful though.

When I had my first I was quite shocked by the experience and ds son was a very demanding baby. I think it would have been harder for me and dh had we not been in Milano (where I'm from) with all our friends and family around. father in law seemed to be the only one able to sooth ds singing to him very out of tune. (strangely ds hasn't been affected from that, he sings quite well!)
still visitors who come expecting to be waited on must be terrible. having talked about childbirth has made me a bit broody now....

Nope, I did! But then again, NO ONE ever tried to visit without phoning first. And everyone was considerate for the first few weeks (later on was a different story .

Also, it was my first child, and Christmas time, and I was anxious (both dd and I had postpartum problems of varying sorts) and it was nice to feel 'normalized' both during hospital stay and after.

But this time, with dd1 needing time to settle, I think I might prefer a calmer time...