Heavily pregnant and heavily tattooed

[rubberducky87]

This is more of a rant than anything so I apologise in advance! I'm also looking for opinions on what you mums think about this because I was so taken back back by it.

I am now 36 weeks pregnant and pretty massive at this point! I am heavily tattooed (arms, hands, chest etc). I work a restaurant manager and I'm still pulling in 55+ hours a week.

Last night I was in work and I had a couple come in for some food. I sat them down. Everything was fine until they had finished their food and they were paying for their bill. I went to take their payment because we were busy and their waitress was taking an order from a different table. I was being really polite and friendly asking them if they had any plans for the rest weekend etc and the woman turned around to me, not answering my question.

Instead she looked directly at me and "I feel so sorry for that child you're carrying."

I was so stunned. I just responded with "What?"

Her reply: "How on earth do you think you can raise a child looking like that?"

I couldn't say anything I was so shocked. I just turned and walked away from them. I am so upset by this woman's thinking because how I look has absolutely nothing to do with how I raise my baby. I understand everyone has their own opinion but surely saying this sort of thing isn't ok. Sorry it's so long!

I think I would have said in a VERY LOUD voice " what a very rude person you are ! " In my poshest telephone voice, just to shame her.

I did it a flower show when a very rude old cow made a comment about our student's show garden, everyone turned round to look at her.....I really enjoyed that, I was pretty hormonal at 12 weeks pregnant and feeling very protective about how much effort the students had gone to.

Some people are just rude arseholes, it's not a reflection on you

I've got the rage on your behalf op you will be the coolest mummy at the school gate

"I couldn't say anything I was so shocked."

It was totally rude and hurtful what the woman said to you, but how can you be surprised? People who are heavily tattoo'd must know how much prejudice there is, and they will think that when you painted yourself, that you did it for attention.

In spite of how nice people are being on this thread, there's a lot of MN prejudice against tats, you've got to grow an even extra thick skin now.

I'd be surprised. Surprised that anyone would question my ability to parent in such a nasty way based purely on my appearance.

It was totally rude and hurtful what the woman said to you, but how can you be surprised? People who are heavily tattoo'd must know how much prejudice there is, and they will think that when you painted yourself, that you did it for attention.

I don't think the OP would be surprised that people might silently judge her, but to actually say something so rude with such barefaced cheek is pretty surprising.

I wish I could be surprised by narrow-mindedness.

I know some very very beautiful woman who are covered in tattoos, my younger sister being one of them. I think it looks incredible.

Well done you for holding back and not rising to it. I'd rather have you look after my kids than someone like that.

No, they hadn't had any alcohol in the restaurant at all. A very simple water and two main dishes and left.

So they were tight bastards as well as being rude and judgmental to boot.

If only you'd managed to tight lipped smile/smirk and utter that you had no doubt you would bring up with better manners than her own mother had managed.

Tattoos aren't/shouldn't be a big deal anymore but some people are just idiots. Sorry you met one.

Wow that is absolutely horrendous, what an awful bitter woman. How can the number of tattoos you do or don't have possibly impact upon the way you raise your child?! I don't have any tattoos but that is my choice - I actually find the majority of them very beautiful and artistic but don't want them for myself. However I have never and would never look at a person with tattoos and make any kind of judgement on what kind of person they are. As far as I am concerned they are exactly the same kind of person as me but just have slightly different tastes. This kind of discrimination really astonishes me - in the same way that I still cannot believe that in this century there are still people who believe that skin colour and sexual preference makes a difference to the kind of person you are. Having tattoos is simply a matter of taste - just in the same way that one person may like to wear heavy make up and others may wear none.

I can't imagine how upsetting that must have been but if possible then do not give that horrid excuse for a woman any more of your thoughts.

What a dick. I'm also heavily tattooed (Sleeves, chest etc) and pregnant and if someone had said this to me I would have decimated them. I couldn't care less about being silently judged; we all do it, but to actually pass comment like that I think is absolutely appalling.
I have wonderful circle of very tattooed mummies as friends and I am proud to be joining them very soon.

What an ignorant bitch.

Tattoos often make beautiful baby pics. I was hoping to get the newborn sleeping on DP's beautiful sleeve, up against the cherry blossoms, maybe in black and white with the cherry blossoms in pink. Sadly he got too big before we got round to it.

I would try to keep my mind on other things, happier things.

Good luck :)

The reason I was so shocked was simply because I have never experienced this sort of discrimination first hand before. I treat people the same way I would like to be treated and don't feel like anyone has the right to judge me based on my appearance.

I have no doubt that as soon as I become a mother that I will have people giving me advice and opinions and what they think is right or not (wanted advice or not ) and I will deal with that when the time comes but for now I felt that it was completely unnecessary and downright rude!

Obviously the woman was very rude but what makes it even worse is that you are heavily pregnant. That sort of comment is going to upset someone and why would you want to upset a heavily pregnant woman?

She was a vile woman. Will you be able to ban her if she returns?