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Original poster

Heavily pregnant and heavily tattooed

64 replies

rubberducky87 · 01/02/2015 09:38

This is more of a rant than anything so I apologise in advance! I'm also looking for opinions on what you mums think about this because I was so taken back back by it.

I am now 36 weeks pregnant and pretty massive at this point! I am heavily tattooed (arms, hands, chest etc). I work a restaurant manager and I'm still pulling in 55+ hours a week.

Last night I was in work and I had a couple come in for some food. I sat them down. Everything was fine until they had finished their food and they were paying for their bill. I went to take their payment because we were busy and their waitress was taking an order from a different table. I was being really polite and friendly asking them if they had any plans for the rest weekend etc and the woman turned around to me, not answering my question.

Instead she looked directly at me and "I feel so sorry for that child you're carrying."

I was so stunned. I just responded with "What?"

Her reply: "How on earth do you think you can raise a child looking like that?"

I couldn't say anything I was so shocked. I just turned and walked away from them. I am so upset by this woman's thinking because how I look has absolutely nothing to do with how I raise my baby. I understand everyone has their own opinion but surely saying this sort of thing isn't ok. Sorry it's so long!

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Jackieharris · 01/02/2015 10:30

She was a bitch and totally in the wrong to have said that.

However I think you're naive if you think no one will judge a heavily tattooed mum. I can just imagine how the (judgy pants at the best of times) toddler group mums would have looked down on any woman with lots of tattoos who'd turned up at one of their clique groups. School gates can be nasty places too.

leanne963 · 01/02/2015 10:32

Argh that has really annoyed me as I have a few large tattoos and I bloody love them. What a horrible horrible woman. I bet your tattoos are gorgeous and screw what anyone else thinks. At least your child will grow up knowing that tattooed people CAN be good people and we are not all criminals. WHO KNEW?! arghhhhh big hug for you!!!!

Zsazsabinks · 01/02/2015 10:47

Oh dear. How miserable, sad and unfulfilled that lady's life must be in order that she goes out for a meal and feels the need to obsess over what somebody else does with her body.

Do you know what as well, I bet you she has children herself who are grown up and can't stand to speak with her. She sees you, all young, pregnant, relaxed, the whole fantastic journey ahead of you and she feels so bitter about the mess that she's made of everything that she takes it out on you with nastiness like that.

Feel sorry for her, really.

pinkyredrose · 01/02/2015 10:48

Omg that is shocking! OP you should turn them away if they ever come back. Outrageous! ShockAngry

Mistlewoeandwhine · 01/02/2015 10:50

Your child is going to have a great life as it will have a super-cool mum :) Some people are just arseholes. It's horrible when you're pregnant though.

Elledouble · 01/02/2015 10:52

Some people think that they can speak to waitresses like that - because you're "only" wait staff you must be an idiot worthy only of their contempt. What a bitch.

I bet your ink is awesome.

SuzySheepSmellsNice · 01/02/2015 10:57

What a narrow-minded bitch. Ignore ignore ignore... Thanks

Ducky23 · 01/02/2015 12:19

What a bitch! I agree with the other posters that have also said I feel sorry for her children!

I am very heavily tattooed and have recently had my ds, every person he meets comments on how happy and content he is. Smile I personally couldn't give a hoot about other moms 'judging me', I think that's more of a reflection of them, my ds is very happy surely thts all that matters.

It makes me laugh when people make comments like that, for them to have to say shit like that, blatantly trying to bring you down to give them a little bit of joy to their day.

You handled it well Smile x

OhMjh · 01/02/2015 12:25

I can relate. I was tattooed, pregnant and 20 but looked 15. I also work in the hospitality industry and had many a customer comment in appropriately. The comments I used to get in the street were appalling, as were some of the midwives on the post natal ward.

I know it's hard, but keep your head up. If anything, I can safely say that my daughter will be one of the least judgemental people around, coming from a tattooed, younger mother and seeing the abuse I've had.

MouseInTheSkirting · 01/02/2015 12:33

My tattooed friend was packing her shopping up into her rucksackin the supermarket. She apologised for holding the next person up and said she needed to get the bag properly packed as she was cycling. The woman queueing said 'maybe if you spent less money on tattoos you'd have a car and we wouldn't all be waiting'!!!

There's something British about not pointing out how rude people are which means these awful people get away with it.

Enjoy your beautiful baby xx

DrElizabethPlimpton · 01/02/2015 12:36

I hope you are ok OP.

I can't get my head around some people. Who are these twats think they have any right to comment on anyone else's life choices? I can only guess that they have such a bitter and miserable life that trying to undermine a total stranger makes them feel a bit better. Angry

DropYourSword · 01/02/2015 12:41

Having tattoos or not having tattoos has no impact on what sort of mother you'll be.
But having no manners and running her mouth off like an idiot makes that woman a prize cunt.

HeadingHome · 01/02/2015 12:45

My 3 year old thinks tattoos are fabulous. What's better than getting to wear pretty pictures on your skin? (I don't have any, so when she spots them on people it's very special and exciting :)

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/02/2015 12:46

She was a bitch. I'd feel far more sorry for her kids than I would yours.

better hope she never needs emergency treatment and the paramedic has tattoos hey.

Congratulations on your pregnancy Smile

Wolfiefan · 01/02/2015 12:49

What difference do your tattoos make to your ability to raise a child?
Her rudeness, intolerance and complete arsetwattery means she would make a shit one!

Sid77 · 01/02/2015 12:52

Well done for not slapping her.

WorryWurta · 01/02/2015 12:53

I'm so shocked! I'm heavily tattooed myself and haven't come across anything like this... yet... Although I guess because it's winter and I work in an office (so been pretty covered up ever since I was obviously pregnant) most people wouldn't notice? I did worry about it though, especially as I have a skull tattooed above one of my boobs. That'll give people something else to complain about if I'm able to bf I guess!

juneau · 01/02/2015 13:00

There are some horrible people out there OP who are rude, judgmental and mean. What a vile thing to say Sad

As for this: I didn't think tattoos were any sort of big deal anymore.

Well yes, tattoos are very popular and mainstream now and all kinds of people have them - but I think its still quite rare (certainly in my life!) to see a heavily tattooed woman. A couple of small-ish ones - sure that's pretty common these days - but I don't personally know anyone with tattoos on their arms, hands and chest. And when you differ from the norm unfortunately it will cause some nasty people to feel like they have the right to comment.

43percentburnt · 01/02/2015 22:23

What a horrid person. Ignore completely. I don't have any tattoos but have many friends that do, I am hoping you just encountered a random idiot.

I'm unsure why people think they have the right to say such things.

defineme · 01/02/2015 22:51

Incredibly rude people. However, I think you're naive if you don't realise how much a person will get judged for very visible tattoos...there was the women in the military wives choir with the chest tattoo who got a huge amount of internet abuse. I have a very strong negative opinion about visible tattoos, naturally I have never shared this with anyone tattooed or not- my Grandad's tattoos and subsequent embarrassment/difficulty in the workplace had a bigimpact on my feelings-what he felt was cool age 22 to have all over his forearms was a hindrance and something to hide for about 40 years. In my head I am definitely thinking what a plonker about visible tattoos, but I am not so bigoted that I think it has any bearing on your parenting ability and I have never verbally insulted anyone inmy life.

Original poster
rubberducky87 · 02/02/2015 11:14

I don't think that I won't get funny looks at the school gate when that time comes or at baby groups, I'm almost certain I will. However I hope that after meeting me and speaking to me that these parents will realise I'm not a freak of any sort and know that I am great mother, regardless of what is on my skin. And just to add, if my son even tries to get a tattoo before the age of 21, there will be hell to pay Wink

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I completely respect that. But in my opinion, judging someone you don't know based on appearance alone is horrible. I just hope that my baby will grow up knowing it's wrong to put someone down for how they look and look behind the skin to find what's really important.

OP posts:
wawabear · 02/02/2015 11:29

Ignore her. I was accused of poisoning my baby because I was having a can of coke (ironically before a scan to get the baby moving, it's not my usual drink of choice!).

For some reason people think that because you're pregnant your body is public property and they have the absolute right to impart their shit opinions at you and you should be glad to hear them.

Look at it this way - if you could choose a mother would you choose someone amazing with a tattoo - or an ignorant dick with an incontinent mouth?

Chin up - concentrate on enjoying this beautiful time and bollocks to everything else xx

Number3cometome · 02/02/2015 12:04

I'd have said "better to be covered in tattoos than have a stinking nasty attitude like yours"

Sorry OP, some people are total fucktards

VenusRising · 02/02/2015 12:12

I think she was out of order to say such a rude and hurtful thing to you.

But, you do realise that you are going to be judged consultant ly now for just being a mum don't you? Everyone has their iopinion and how everyone loves to shoot from the hip to mums!

My advice is to just get ready for interfering busybodies, and develop a thick skin. Let them wash over you Grin

You may also need to slow down a bit. 55 hours on your feet at 36 weeks is a lot. Hope you get lots of breaks and decent maternity leave. Put yourself first, because you'll need your energy.

Best of luck with the birth, and the 12 weeks afterwards- they were the worst for me

rosedavo · 02/02/2015 18:06

Yeh hasnt anyone told you that to be a good parent you must have no tattoos or body mods etc? Lol what an idiot that woman is. Ive got tattoos and my ears stretched and the amount of people that express their suprise when they find out im ive been happily married for 3 years and this is a planned pregnancy and i have a decent job... i cant believe people think that the way you look means you must be a bad person etc.

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