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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Suddenly terrified at the thought of two under two!

35 replies

Allstoppedup · 27/01/2015 11:45

DP and I were actively trying for DC2 as I have PCOS and we thought it would take a while!

Turns out, it has happened quickly! I found out yesterday and it is still very early days so anything could happen. Obviously I'm very happy but just as I was sat here watching DS (13months) munching on his apple looking so sweet and tiny and I'm in floods of tears.

It's going to change his little life so much, what if it makes him miserable or I don't have time for him! I never want him to feel displaced. I had a rough pregnancy with him and am so worried that the next 9 months are going to be awful and I'm not going to be able to make the most of our lovely time as just the two of us.

He'll only be 21 months when the new LO gets here and is still my tiny boy.

Conversely, I'm terrified that I won't be able to love a new baby as much?

I'm hoping this is just a bit of a mix of hormones and shock/surprise as I can't stop crying!

Please tell me these feelings are normal and I've not made a huge error in judging what I thought I wanted!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Original poster

Allstoppedup · 27/01/2015 11:58

Anyone?

OP posts:

butterflycats · 27/01/2015 11:58

Firstly, huge congratulations! Feel free to pop over to the September/October antenatal thread for a bit of support! I'm only pregnant with my first (only worrying about how the cats will cope!) so I'm not much help I'm afraid!

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 27/01/2015 11:58

Don't worry. I was pregnant again when DS was 16 weeks and have 13 months between my DC. My DD is just 1 and my DS is just 2.

DS does icassiknally try and smack DD over the head but generally seems fairly cheerful that she is here and - as far as a 2 year old can - probably prefers to have a sibling than not

Artandco · 27/01/2015 12:00

It's fine. We have a 15 month gap and I don't feel either were left out. If anything it's far easier as both at approx same level of stuff ie toys/ days out/ playing/ etc

Currentlyclueless · 27/01/2015 12:01

Congrats!
My sister has 5 under two and then twins who are nearly 4. She manages an I'm sure you will too. I think people just learn to cope and aslong as you have support it'll be fine

DeanKoontz · 27/01/2015 12:05

At least you're thinking about it, which means you'll be somewhat prepared. I didn't give a single thought to the fact that 2 under 2 would be any harder than 1!

It was a HUGE SHOCK to me just how hard it was.

However, you will definitely love them both just as much. More possibly. Just remember that it really is only for a short time and you can just pare everything down in order to make him, and then them, your priority.

Once they're out of nappies it's dead easy as they because they're so close in age, they can do the same things. You won't have all the hassles of trying to occupy a teenager and a baby on a day out etc.

It'll be fine, honest.

DeanKoontz · 27/01/2015 12:07

5 under 2 plus twins clueless?

Original poster

Allstoppedup · 27/01/2015 12:10

Thanks for the congratulations! I AM so pleased as I say, I thought we would struggle so I know I'm very lucky!

I think logically I know you just adapt (and small children are experts at it!) It just suddenly hit me that our cosy little life that we are so settled into is going to change so hugely! - I do hope for the better! You are all very correct, small age gap can be great!

There are 18months between my sister and I and we are very close so I do hope they love each other similarly!

butterfly haha...last time round I was crying about how the cats would feel! - I forgot about that! They adapted quite well so there's hope for DS who incidentally is currently hugging the biggest, fluffiest cat at the end of the bed

Going to move myself from the conception bus thread and go find the Sept/Oct antenatal....eek!

I'm feeling much cheerier now so maybe it is bleeding hormones already!

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Original poster

Allstoppedup · 27/01/2015 12:11

Haha...yep broke out into a cold sweat reading 2 under 2 and twins!!!

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2blessed · 27/01/2015 12:11

I've got 17 months between my 2 dcs. It was a little hectic for the first few weeks but we trundle along. Congratulations!

Mrsteddyruxpin · 27/01/2015 12:17

14 months between my two (like you, struggled ttc no 1 so thought it would take 18months or so)

I have a newborn and small toddler. It isn't as much of a shock to the system as I thought and baby has had a few illnesses etc. You cope because you have to and dc1 will love little baby. don't think of them losing your attention. it is healthy for them to share, turn take and your love for them doubles, not divides. I cant believe the love I have for dc2 and was concerned I wouldn't have the feelings as strong second time around.

now .. on a practical note. batch cook, online shop, get your house decluttered and in order as much as you can prior to arrival (sort clothes into age groups, bulk buy nappies)

Look after yourself and many, many congratulations - you will be a brilliant mum

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/01/2015 12:19

21 months is exactly the same age gap as I had between ds1 and ds2, and it worked just fine.

A few things that I found helped -

The new baby 'brought' a present for their older sibling (we put a new toy car in the moses basket for ds1 to find).

When I was breastfeeding ds2, I did it using the rugby ball hold (him tucked under my arm, rather than across my body) so ds1 could sit on my lap at the same time, and read a book with me.

I realised that I had learned a number of shortcuts for caring for one baby, and these gave me the time I needed to care for two.

I have to say, that I actually found it easier going up from one baby to two, than from no babies to one because, as I have said, I had learned so much in the 21 months of ds1's life about looking after babies - what was essential and what wasn't, what worked for us, and what didn't - and lots of baby care skills - and all those skills made caring for ds2 easier, quicker and I stressed about it less, which meant that I still had plenty of time for ds1.

To be honest, the same applied when I had ds3, too - he was almost exactly 2 years younger than ds2, so a very similar gap.

I also found that having them all close in age had advantages and disadvantages as they got older - they liked a lot of the same toys and tv programmes when they were little, and learned to do a lot of stuff at fairly similar times, which did help - but they also fought a lot! That said, they are now 17, 19 and 21, and get on pretty well (even though they do make considerable efforts to wind eachother up too - sigh).

Original poster

Allstoppedup · 27/01/2015 12:21

This is so reassuring! Thanks for the advice mrsteddy I've been on a MAJOR decluttering spree since new year and we've just moved a load of sorted baby clothes to the attic- with DS1 I nested like a loon so hopefully I will keep on top of it but it's much harder to clean when I have little Captain Stickyhands trailing behind me !

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Pregnantagain7 · 27/01/2015 12:21

13 months between my last two. I found out I was pregnant again when he was 14 weeks old.
Youngest is 15 weeks now and it's been fine. The odd day where it's been tough but overall fine. My 16 months first word was his little brothers name! The babies face lights up when he sees his big brother it melts my heart!!

QueenofallIsee · 27/01/2015 12:22

I had 3 under 2 at one point - I am still here, still sane and my hair was brushed at least 75% of the time. You will be totally fine! You find yourself just getting on with it as what is your alternative? 2 things - really think hard about your travel solutions (car/buggy/sling) as that side of things being as easy as possible is a huge part of getting around with toddlers close inage, and don't sweat the small stuff housework wise.

Original poster

Allstoppedup · 27/01/2015 12:25

Awww Pregnantagain that started me off crying! How lovely!

SDTG Thank you, you make some very good points! I suppose you forget what a steep learning curve having your first is!

I'm hoping to tandem feed if DS hasn't self weaned by then. I'm assuming getting lots of milk back in is going to be like early Christmas for him! I think my supply has dipped now I'm pregnant and he seems unimpressed (but not enough to stop trying!)

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TarkaTheOtter · 27/01/2015 12:27

I have 23m between mine and whilst it's a learning curve at first you soon find yourself at the point where you wonder why you found just having one was hard as two seems fine.

Original poster

Allstoppedup · 27/01/2015 12:31

Queen Thanks! All good things to think about!

We still have a pram and travel system from DS but rarely use it as I use my wrap to carry him mostly so am planning on strapping the new one on so I can still move about freely!

We don't drive but his grandparents have an isofix in their car that DS uses and we have a spare for emergencies. DS's cousin is currently just 8 weeks and we gave a lot of our baby stuff to SIL so timing should work out about right to trade it all back again!

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thejoysofboys · 27/01/2015 12:35

This was me about 4 years ago. DS1 was an IVF conception. DS2 was a surprise natural conception when DS1 was only 10m old. To say I panicked at the thought of 2 under 2 is an understatement!!!! All the negative thoughts you're having are totally normal - I had them too.

And, yes, I did cope - just fine thanks - despite having no family within 200 miles to give me a hand and a DH that had to work long hours. And, yes, DS1 coped just fine too. It was absolute chaos and hard work for the first 6 months but gradually it got easier and now they are 5yrs and 3.5yrs and get on like a house on fire. They obviously squabble but ultimately love each other to pieces and would not want to be apart for long.

You'll cope because you have to (and you might just find you enjoy it too!)

Currentlyclueless · 27/01/2015 12:39

Yeah she had twins then just had triplets haha

Currentlyclueless · 27/01/2015 12:40

Sorry it was triplets then twins bad Aunty

DeanKoontz · 27/01/2015 12:42

Wow!

Original poster

Allstoppedup · 27/01/2015 12:43

Oh my goodness!

ceases all complaining

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Sylviecat · 27/01/2015 12:51

It'll be fine, I promise. I have 22 months between my 2. They are now 3.5 yrs and 19 months, and I was just thinking yesterday how much they enhance each other's lives! My littlest ds is always so happy when his older brother comes home from preschool. They do fight.. A lot... But they also play silly games and make each laugh, as well as gang up on me and dp a lot.

But it will be hard to begin with. You don't really notice it getting easier, it just does. Now I can sometimes mumsnet cook dinner unbothered while they play.

Congratulations!

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers · 27/01/2015 12:56

You'll be fine. And he will love it, I had 2 under 15 months and as of march ill have 3 under 4. Constant play mates at home
And you will love them the same. I couldn't choose between mine, they are fabulously different little people

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