Suddenly terrified at the thought of two under two!

[Allstoppedup]

DP and I were actively trying for DC2 as I have PCOS and we thought it would take a while!

Turns out, it has happened quickly! I found out yesterday and it is still very early days so anything could happen. Obviously I'm very happy but just as I was sat here watching DS (13months) munching on his apple looking so sweet and tiny and I'm in floods of tears.

It's going to change his little life so much, what if it makes him miserable or I don't have time for him! I never want him to feel displaced. I had a rough pregnancy with him and am so worried that the next 9 months are going to be awful and I'm not going to be able to make the most of our lovely time as just the two of us.

He'll only be 21 months when the new LO gets here and is still my tiny boy.

Conversely, I'm terrified that I won't be able to love a new baby as much?

I'm hoping this is just a bit of a mix of hormones and shock/surprise as I can't stop crying!

Please tell me these feelings are normal and I've not made a huge error in judging what I thought I wanted!

I've never been a 'guilty' person, but as soon as we conceived number 2 I felt awful for dc1 (18m age gap). And I think the mummy guilt continues forever! I made myself feel better about it by realising that this is what's 'meant to be' - human families are usually made up of more than one child and have been forever. Children are 'supposed' to have siblings. And I wasn't the only person in that position or to feel that way, it was all perfectly normal! And it was hard at times, but great fun all the same! Good luck xx

I could have written your post myself. I have DD aged 20mo who'll be 23mo when my second is born at the end of March.

One day she was just sitting playing and bringing me books to read and I burst into tears at the thought of her no longer having my undivided attention any more. The more I thought about it though the more I realised that she was such a caring and affectionate wee thing she'll be really happy to have a sibling. And it will really benefit her in the long run.

I watched my friend the other day - she has a nearly 4 year old and a 5 month old baby and the 4 year old is clearly finding it quite tough that he's no longer the centre of her world. I should say she's doing amazingly despite this but it did make me think that DD will still be young enough (I hope) that she won't have got used to having me all to herself and will adapt better to the baby arriving than my friends son.

I think when they're closer in age they just accept it as totally normal and don't go through anywhere the anguish we think they will. We're almost over thinking their emotions about it.

I have 18 months between my DDs. Yes, the first year of DD2s life was hard work as we effectively had 2 babies. And DD2 was a monster who never slept...

But now they are 7 and 5.5, and they are an inseparable unit. I don't think either can imagine life without the other, they have a very special bond. DD1 never had sibling jealousy as she doesn't remember a time before DD2 and she was too little for that sort of emotion at 18 months. So yes, our lives were largely chaos for 1-2 years but now it is absolute easy street and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I do second those saying you need to be organised. A sling was my lifesaver as it gave me a "hands free kit" to hold DD2 (velcro baby) and still make food/play with DD1 etc. And my top tip is that you need an outing once a day, even if you just go around the block. I found days when we were all at home were most likely to be the ones where everyone was seriously tetchy with each other by bedtime!

Congratulations!!! Enjoy your time with your DS now, but also know that he's going to get the best gift you could ever give him!

Im expecting dc3 when dd will be 19 months! Ds is six so big age gap there! Im just hoping dd isnt too violent to new baby...shes vicious!

Some great tips here, I've a 17month old and a 2 weeks old things are busy and noisy but mostly OK so far.

Late to the party here but totally agree! I am slightly terrified! There's going to be almost 18 months exactly between my two. My son is SUCH a livewire, I feel I may be slightly frazzled if my daughter (due 19 July) is the same! :o xxxx

Hey Hun, I've had days like you're having. Thanks hormones. It will get easier.
I'm 33 weeks pg with number 2, I have a 10month old daughter and 6 year old son.
There will only just be 12 months between the youngest, it took us so long to fall pregnant with her we didn't think it would happen so fast.
It will be fine, because it has to be, we've been blessed. I had the guilty feeling too, I know it will be hard some days but ultimately they will be great little friends.
The pregnancy has been harder, tired more easily and a lot more achy, but I've not really had the chance to rest like I did before ha.

Grrr pregnant with number 3 I meant :)

This was me last summer. Needed help to conceive DS1, assumed DC2 would take months/years and got pg after DTD once. There will be a 21 month gap between mine, I'm currently 33 weeks so not long to go! I can't offer practical reassurance but just to say that after initially bricking it I'm now really looking forward to it and although it will be very hard work it will be a good thing for DS1 in the longer run. Since I got pg DS has come on loads and is far more independent than he was, he obviously doesn't understand completely what's coming but finds my bump fascinating and knows something's coming. I'm gearing up for a stressful few months but once they start playing with each other it will have been so worth it I reckon.

Triplets then twins?? When did she even have time to have sex with triplets under 3 lol.