Why do some people even have a gender preference?

[Danielson01]

It's beyond me.

Why on earth do you care?

I get it. Think it's normal actually. Doesn't make a difference to how much you love the baby, even if it's not the gender you were hoping for.

They don't. It's the sex of the baby they have a preference for:

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_and_gender_distinction

I have four children, two of each, and am currently expecting my fifth. I love them all, of course I do , but I have to say that I find parenting the girls much easier than the boys. I can relate to them, they are (generally speaking) calmer, quieter, and (especially the youngest ) like all the things I liked as a child. I find it much harder to get excited about the football and transformers my boys are currently obsessing over. I also prefer shopping for the girls, picking out girls clothes and hair bobbles genuinely fills me with joy, whereas I find boys clothes generally dull and my youngest boy likes to look smart but is quite heavy on his clothes (think wholes in knees etc) and ds1 likes to be comfortable so lives in sweat pants and won't even contemplate jeans! He's 8!!!

It doesn't mean I love them any less. I adore all my children. But I do get it. And I am thrilled to be expecting another girl.

I lost my Mum when I was pregnant with my dd. I was desperate for a girl, to replace the mother-daughter bond in my life. I've had a slight preference for a girl since, although I went on to have two boys. I love them all the same, but worry the boys won't be as close to me when they're grown up.

Everyone is different. Some people have had past experiences with their own families or with children that they may have lost that means they would prefer one gender or another. I'm not the preference type, and really it's a bit pointless because it's a 50 50 scenario but people can't help how they feel.

I don't think it's anyone's business if people have a preference each person will have their own reason unless it's 'to dress up a little girl' then I don't find that an acceptable excuse.

They don't, they do however have a sex preference. Do you really have no idea why?

I think that when you're pregnant you have a picture in your head of your unborn child when they're older. And the sex of the child may be part of that picture because, in our society, there are certain behaviours or activities we associate more with one sex than the other. So, to choose a very stereotypical example, a man who's a keen football fan may imagine kicking a ball around in the park with his son and it may be hard for him to create a similar mental image with a girl. Agree with other posters that it sometimes depends on your relationship with your own parents too.

I had a preference, I got the opposite mind! Didn't matter a jot once she was in my arms loved her whole heartedly and can't imagine not having my DD...but while pregnant I hoped for a boy, I had a fantasy about what having a son would be like! I now have a DS too and they are both my life, their gender doesn't really come into daily life.

I do prefer 'girly' games and girls clothes shopping...sorry!

Interestingly, as a child I was very much a daddies girl, and didn't really get on with my mother at all. Now, aged 30 and expecting baby five I have a fabulous relationship with my mum. In fact she lives with us! My dad died six years ago but I remained close to him.

because they have a preconceived narrow idea of what each sex is like, and how theyll be able to parent what they see as different types of child.
They might have a fantasy About the types of parent child relationship available and think you cant have that sort of relationship if the child is of a different sex to their fantasy

Branleuse
I don't agree - my mum wanted me to be a girl after having my sister then three boys, she wouldn't have been disappointed if I wasn't a girl but she wanted a girl so my sister had a sister. Your posts quite judgemental towards people's reasonings when you don't know why they want that particular sex

youre reading whats not there.
I had gender preferences all 3 times. I think its pretty common but its a fantasy, and after having children of both sexes and with the benefit of hindsight, I do think it is all about fantasy

I personally believe there's more to it than fantasy

I genuinely didn't have a preference but as soon as I saw DD I realised I really wanted a girl.

Next time if I'm lucky I do have a preference for a girl due to practicality - we've got all girl stuff!

Doesn't mean I wouldn't be thrilled to have a boy though.

My mums mum had her (who was then adopted out of the family against her wishes, teenage mum) then had four boys trying to "replace" my mum. She never had another daughter. People have all different reasons for having a preference. It really doesn't matter once the child is here and they are all loved.

My son is quiet, gentle, loves music, philosophy, politics etc. My daughter is loud, fun loving, very sporty, plays in a football team, an avid football supporter, no interest in anything 'girly' ... No gender stereotypes here!

I find it really strange that you can't comprehend this.

As said above, people have this preconceived idea of what it would be like with a child of either sex and quiet often they are actually based on life experience eg. I know far more women who grow up and have a very close relationship with their mother, go shopping, holidays etc than I do men. I know far more women who've had strained relationships with their girls when they were going through teenage years, arguments more personal, hurtful etc than mothers with boys who generally got on with it. Personally I think a lot of boys go through a very irritating age where they lack common sense and I know a lot of girls who get very know-it-ally, bossy and bloody irritating at a certain age.

These are only observations, I had no preference whatsoever when I was pregnant but for a variety of reasons I would probably have a slight preference if I were to have another. That doesn't mean I would love the baby any less, I can already feel the love I have for a baby I probably won't have for another five years and the sex doesn't matter a dot but I just have this almost subconscious idea. It's not on purpose it's just based on experience! But I know full well I will be absolutely overjoyed whatever the sex!

children are children and there is as much variation between two children of the same sex as there is between two of different sex. Anything else is what you make it and mostly cultural.

If you want a particular sex really strongly, then its really worth thinking deeply about what that actually means to you, and your idea of what a girl is or what a boy is, because that can be a lot of pressure on the child too

I think a lot of people assume that sex is a more significant factor in personality type than it really is. I had a momentary wobble when I found out DC2 was a diff sex to DC1 because I (wrongly) assumed that siblings of the same sex get on better with each other. But I was quickly able to think of plenty of RL examples that don't fit that trend and told myself to stop being so ridiculous! (And yes they get on brilliantly now )

Some of this sounds like a self fulfilling prophecy. Boys games aren't as interesting, girls have better hair bobbles. If you view the two sets as very separate, that's probably what you'll end up with.

I remember hearing the talk from the headmaster of a single sex school and one of the things I liked was that he said was that each child gets to explore the full range of things, not just what society says they should be interested in.

Makes sense not to limit children in your own family and dismiss them afterwards.

Children are children Branleuse but they grow into adults and in my personal experience I think the majority of the time men and women are quite different. There's countless threads on here that are a testament to that.

I'm absolutely all for children being children, my DD breaks a number of stereotypes but why would we pretend that men and women are the same? Do you really believe that?

I had a lot of experience due to family and working as a nanny, with boys. When I found out I was pregnant and knew I would be a lone parent, I had a preference towards having a boy because that was what I "knew" and for some reason having a girl felt like it would be an added challenge when I was already a bit up against it. I also don't have the best relationship with my mum and was worried of that being passed down.

Having had my son now, I realise that children are just there own little people, and gender doesn't really come into it. I didn't know that before I'd experienced it though.

I have one of each and one on the way. I dont care if its boy or girl but a boy would be easier my ds is so laid back but dd is a handful, saying that dd is only 13 months so woukd be nice to have another girl for her to play with....hmmm.....as I said...not bothered. A baba is a baba and no matter what it is I will love it just the same as I love my other two