am i being unreasonable about brother and sil?

[Naomip88]

I cant tell whether its because i'm 38 weeks pregnant or they are actually being unreasonable! I'm due in two weeks with my first dd and although i'm very excited my brother has just really annoyed me!

My sil has a non emergency operation on her knee booked 2 weeks after my due date (she broke it 18 months ago) and they suddenly announced they want to stay with my mum so she can look after her and my 6 month old niece. We had arranged that my mum would come (not stay all day but spend the evenings with us as we live very close) and help us get settled in and just generally be there to spend time with us for those special first few days with her grandaughter (she didnt have the chance to do this with my niece) . Obviously my due date might not be my actual big day and it could go as late as a day before sil would be arriving to stay with my mum, which would mean my mum would be too busy looking after them to come and stay with us like we had originally arranged. On top of this I found out my brother could take time off work but wants to save it for a holiday! I'm feeling really annoyed about this as it feels like they're being very demanding and selfish, my mum hates confrontation and doesn't want to upset anyone but I just can't believe they are putting us in this position! Its especially frustrating as my sil's mum came to stay with them for 3 weeks after my niece was born- I feel like I should have the same opportunity.

You sound a little self centred.

I think SIL will probably need help more after a knee operation, possibly being on crutches and certainly with reduced mobility, with a 6 month old to take care of than you and your DP will need help. Most people don't have another adult to come and stay with them for 3 weeks after the birth, they manage.

All sorted! I think a lot of people on here hadn't actually read the whole story. Of course it was my mums decision and that was the issue ; she wanted to be here for us as we are very close ( my dp and my mum get on really well too) and she wanted to share some of that special time .of course if my sil had no other options I would have let it go as I understand she will need all the help she can get . What I was annoyed at was that regardless of my mums preference and plans ( that were 9 months in the making) they were telling her ( not discussing) what she was going to do even though they had other options, also we felt it was easier for them to arrange other help as they have a date for the operation and i'm not able to give birth to a schedule or predict what kind of recovery time I will have. I decided to talk to my sil about it and she was very understanding and it turns out she had numerous other options , and a close friend had offered to help her. Next time I will discuss stuff with her and not my extremely regimented brother who won't budge on plans and seems to think your due date is definitive!

Everyone on mumsnet manages a new first baby alone with 30 broken ribs and on a budget of £3.50 per week, but it seems less common in real life so don't worry about wanting/needing help - no kids to a baby IS a big leap for most people and you are right to want to prepare for it. :o

I think YANBU to feel this way but hopefully you will both manage to get help.

Xposted, oh that's good OP. Congrats on your baby BTW :)

Your sil sound lovely and reasonable, your brother sounds like a dick!

Haha he can be , gets it from my dad who's an arse!

It took my ages the realise what yabu meant! At the beginning I thought people were just saying 'ya booh sucks to you!' Which felt a bit harsh!