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Original poster

Are girls better than boys???

71 replies

lilyanna812 · 01/01/2015 22:02

I am currently pregnant with my third and I have two DS.

I love my kids, I never regretted them for a moment. However I keep getting comments like:-

'Third time lucky, this one will be a girl'
'If you are really lucky it will be a girl this time'
'This one is definatly a girl....'

...etc from family, friends and everyone

I was watching a show called gender disappointment, wanting a girl and there was a mother there with 6 (?) sons and said not having a daughter is the same pain and disappointment as not have children at all.

Are girls better than boys?

Are sons less value?

Is a third son a curse whilst a daughter will be a blessing.

When I got pregnant I didn't care what I had.....but now I want a son. I have always been a rebel .....but also the fact that I actually LIKE having sons and if I had 10 sons or 3 sons, it really would not matter to me.

Will my life be less valuable less important less worthy if I didn't have a daughter?

I am looking fwd to being the mother in law that is always travelling and u see at weddings and funerals and the odd party. I really enjoy being the only woman in the house and I am shocked that people feel that a baby boy will be less wanted, less loved, less valuable than a baby girl.

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needaholidaynow · 01/01/2015 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop · 01/01/2015 23:51

I saw that programme I think I thought it was outrageous....

The mother went to the scan told another boy....was clearly upset....got back to grandfather who had been sitting her 5 boys he saw her face and said "no luck then" Hmm

DontBeBlueBeARainbow · 02/01/2015 05:55

People are just crap, what horrible comments.

I'm 29 weeks with DC1, we haven't found out. I always thought I'd like a girl as I am one of 2 girls, so simply know what that's like growing up. My mum goes on about how much she loves girls and imagines boys must be crap, which made me want a boy to prove her wrong. Add to that that DH is Chinese so he and his family all want a boy (don't get me started), which makes me want a girl.

I just dread any comment after the baby is born about gender, I may just blank any comment either positive or negative, if that's even possible...

DropYourSword · 02/01/2015 05:58

It would be the same if it were the other way round as well. I think you're reading too much into it. People just see it as more 'balanced'.

LordJabuJabu · 02/01/2015 06:02

We've got 2 ds's & I've just ha DD.

I'm annoyed because all the 'ooh, you can stop now you have your little girl' comments are still rolling in.
We can't afford/don't want to have another one but it's almost enough to make me want to try.

JennyBlueWren · 02/01/2015 06:45

I'm obviously quite naive as I'm shocked by these comments (as in comments you've received not comments you've made)! Especially about how if you have boys they'll move away and you'll become "The MIL". I've got two brothers and we all moved away from our home town -I'm actually the furthest away. I see my parents a couple of times a year but feel emotionally close to them. We see my in-laws every couple of months and they're close enough to come for a day trip if they wanted to.

Among a circle of friends everyone has boys so one friend has said she'd like me to have a girl so she can buy girly things. I am slightly concerned to have a girl now as I would be so determined not to have all the pink and girlyness stuff (unless she was inclined towards it).

I would like two children but don't mind what sex/gender they are. I was one of three and my dad always said he had one of each (the implication being my little brother was a monster).

siblingrevelryagain · 02/01/2015 07:03

I was the same as you OP when pregnant after two boys. So much 'sympathy' and speculation that I ended up wanting another boy and actually became very protective of the 'boy' I was carrying (turned out to be a girl).

My assessment since is that girls (sometimes) have better choice of clothes, boys have better choice of toys. And that beyond this gender stereotypes are bull when kids are little.

My three are quite similar in personality-my daughter is as loving as the boys, and the boys can sit doing an activity for more than five minutes.

Children are children, and whilst there are pros and cons to every family dynamic (gender, family position, age gap etc), if you're lucky enough to have happy and healthy kids you've succeeded.

It's insensitive when people feel able to comment-I was never brave enough to tackle them but just quietly seethed!

Hope that whichever flavour you get it all goes well x

FloozeyLoozey · 02/01/2015 07:31

I'm a single parent to one son, highly unlikely I'll have more kids. While I feel sad sometimes for ds that he'll never have a sibling, I never feel sad that I won't have a daughter. Me and ds are incredibly close, I can't imagine it being any better with a girl.

BikeRunSki · 02/01/2015 07:46

I have 1 of each. Neither is better or worse than the other; they a v different people.

My parents had 2 of each. DM says "boys mess up your house, girls mess up your mind".

ch1134 · 02/01/2015 09:23

Boys are amazing. So are girls. It drives me NUTS that all my friends think my little boy should be dressed in blue, like tractors and is really active 'because he's a boy'. I was really active at his age! He's active because he's active. When he put a bow in his hair at Christmas everyone laughed, when his female cousin did she was cute. .. I find gender stereotyping stupid and dangerous. .as if that tiny willy between his legs makes any difference (yet!) x

LuckyAugust · 02/01/2015 09:29

I'm expecting ds3 in 3 weeks and cannot wait. Before we found out we were having a boy I didn't have any preference and other than comments from my own mother and mother in law that it would be 'nice' to have a girl no one really said much. And then we found out we were having a boy.......... Its made me so angry the amount of 'awww never mind' or 'oh no' comments we've had even from strangers when they've asked if we know what we're having. 'You can always try again' is another familar comment for us too. I'm actually get sterilised after my section in 3 weeks to the horror of a few people too in case we later regret not trying for a girl (???!!!!!Angry ). A lot of people fail to understand we only want 3 children and can only afford 3 children!!!! We are thrilled to be having another boy and already feel such a strong bond with my little guy. I can't wait to see my boys together Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile

PacificDogwood · 02/01/2015 09:33

Children are amazing and annoying and hard work and The Best Thing etc etc.

You should have heard the comments I got when expecting DS4…. HmmGrin, culminating in somebody offering their condolences when I was out and about, proud as punch with my newborn healthy DS…. Shock

My children are 'better' than everybody else's of course Wink

pommedeterre · 02/01/2015 09:34

People assume you want one of each in any combo.

When I was pg with dd2 and I told someone it was another girl she said 'nevermind'!!!

When I announced pg with number three on fb I got lots of 'maybe it's a boy this time' comments. It was a boy but like you I got set in a mindset of wanting three girls to annoy all the weird one of each people!

Tactleneck · 02/01/2015 09:43

Simple - no girls are not better than boys and boys are not better than girls.
People have a tendancy to make idiotic small talk it's really not worth getting stressed about.
Just enjoy your lovely new addition when they arrive and ignore the comments you don't agree with (also works for parenting advice)! This coming from someone who has two boys followed by our lovely 8mth old dd, I get these comments all the time and I just smile and nod and carry on.

Number3cometome · 02/01/2015 10:01

I have a DS and a DD and I can assure you they are both amazing and both a pain in their own little ways!

DS was harder to breastfeed, but DD has a bit of a girly attitude problem.

DD is confident, DS is shy.

DD slept longer hours, than DS, DS didn't cry as much when not being held.

Swings and roundabouts!

Currently expecting DC3 and hoping (but not hellbent!) on a boy.

Reason being that it is my OH's first child and will probably be our last, so would like a boy, but we will of course will be VERY happy with whatever nature chooses for us Grin

The only thing I would say, is that shops tend to cater much more for girls than boys.

Number3cometome · 02/01/2015 10:02

P.s. I don't think people will ask me what I am hoping for this time, when I say it's number 3 they tend to look at me with horror / sympathy haha

Tranquilitybaby · 02/01/2015 10:16

People say silly things when making conversation. I have one of each, they are very different, but love experiencing how they grow and the personalities shine. Pregnant with no 3 now and honestly didn't mind what I had (we know now).

Micah · 02/01/2015 10:21

Number 3- "girly attitude problem". Girly used in negative context like this perpetuates the stereotypes. it's an attitude problem, gender is irrelevant. Like the other thread where the o/p said her oh was "girly", or "throws like a girl" it's an insult.

What I hate is all these buzz feed and Facebook lists mothers of boys post about why boys are better than girls, or why I love having boys, or whatever.

A) It smacks of defensiveness having to think up specific reasons and b) most of the points apply to my girls too. But there's always people answer oh yes my boys are so loving and my girl is a little madam.

Boys can do anything girls can, and vice versa. The issue is you as their parent submitting to gender stereotype. If you think ballet would benefit your child, then let them. A willy doesn't stop them being amazing at it, nor will it turn him gay.

Only1scoop · 02/01/2015 10:26

I agree I think people do come out with small talk babble around the subject etc....however some people are just plain odd and tactless

I met one complete and utter clueless woman once....

She said to friend hosting party for her 3 boys...."weren't you gutted when you found out number 3 was another boy?" And pulled this screwed up face of disgust....

When asked earlier in the day if she wanted anymore dc ....she has 1dd she actually said

"Why would I....I got the prize....no thank you"

Me...."the prize? Eh what"

Her...."a girl" said in disbelief as if I should have known.

Number3cometome · 02/01/2015 10:28

Number 3- "girly attitude problem". Girly used in negative context like this perpetuates the stereotypes. it's an attitude problem, gender is irrelevant. Like the other thread where the o/p said her oh was "girly", or "throws like a girl" it's an insult.

Yeah it's defo a girly attitude problem, you sound like you may have one yourself Wink

Oh hang on, don't tell me I am misogynistic - yawn yawn yawn

pommedeterre · 02/01/2015 12:22

Girly attitude problem isn't a great thing to say though. Boys don't have attitude problems?

ShadowSuperNova · 02/01/2015 12:44

Girls are lovely. Boys are also lovely.

Some people just can't seem to stop themselves from coming out with thoughtless and idiotic comments if you've got 2 the same instead of one of each.

I have 2 DS's and have had the occasional comment about not having a girl, but I know people with 2 DDs who've had similar comments in reverse.

Try to ignore the idiots and enjoy your children.

Number3cometome · 02/01/2015 13:01

pommedeterre

YAWN again

berrypicking · 02/01/2015 13:07

I always used to think I wanted girls. Then my first dc was a boy and I couldnt imagine it any other way. it's true that your children are your children and it doesn't matter what the gender is. We are finding out the gender at the 20 week scan and can't wait, don't mind if it's a boy or a girl now.

Number3cometome · 02/01/2015 13:11

berrypicking careful Berry,
You'll get flamed for using the word 'Gender' instead of 'Sex'

The PC crew are in full force today Wink

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