When did you announce?

[Emilyjane11]

Hi ladies,

I realise this is a lame question to ask as everyone is different but I am DYING to do a little cute facebook announcement about my pregnancy, I know that kind of thing isn't for everyone but I really love it.

I am only 8 weeks but pretty much all of our family know and most close friends so kinda just want to make it public knowledge now so people don't gossip.

Do you think its too soon?

I waited until 12-14 weeks (after first scans) to tell people outside of my immediate family and few closest friends.

Didnt even allude to it until after 20 week scan on social media etc.

I have friends who have gone in guns blazing as soon as they get a BFP. Different strokes, but two miscarriages at 10 weeks stopped me from doing so (sorry to be a downer!).

I feel like people are looking down at me for wanting to do a facebook announcment. I just wanted to know when you did it.

I understand the risks involved and I understand people with fertility issues may not appreciate me doing it this way either.

I really really wish I hadn't posted the question now, I had a ten min freak out excitement and decided to post.

Thanks for your replies

Emilyjane, It is totally up to you how you want to share your news as much as it is up to others how they handle it. If you want to shout it from the rooftops, go for it! I am going to make a facebook announcement tonight though all close friends and family now know. I don't think anyone was trying to look down on you, they were just sharing their personal experiences and it came across as a bit negative. Sharing an announcement is just totally personal - do what is right for you and enjoy this special time :) x

I will do thank you. Im sure they didn't mean to be negative about it but I was just asking a question.

Im not a social media whore but i do want to make an announcment on facebook. The people that warrant something personal have had that or will do when I'm 12 weeks but as of the rest of people they can find out online

Ditto what Foggymist's said. Don't want you to start thinking negatively! Just enjoy the private knowledge/with those you have told for now before sharing more widely bearing in mind nothing's guaranteed. (I had my 20-week scan today ok so thinking about letting family know - as I'm not showing yet - so far only told 1 friend and 3 colleagues (at 11 weeks, only did that as afraid might mc at 12 weeks again). Fingers crossed now past that danger. But, a colleague just suffered a stillbirth at term. So impossible to ever relax if you worry about all such possibilities! Thankfully those are v rare though so please do try not to worry too much and enjoy your pg. Hard sometimes but we must)!

Deffinatly wait. I told one person up until my 12 week scan at that point I was almost 13 weeks and then we only told close family and a few close friends , didn't announce it on facebook until after our 20 week scan and told the rest of the family and friends at that point too

I told my mum first. She lives in Estonia, so she was very delighted. Then I told my bf. Before 8 weeks we said only closest friends and family. And announced on fb after 12 weeks scan with the photo.

Closest people ASAP with caveats to keep schtum. Facebook after 20 week scan but I've had miscarriages previously so left it longer than most (& apparently a few people had guessed by then).

By the way both my miscarriages were around 11 weeks which is sadly still pretty common so I do think 8 weeks is a bit early... having to "untell" people was one of the particularly sad parts. I'd wait til after your 12 weeks scan at least before a public announcement but tell friends and family before then if you wish.

By the way I totally support you announcing on Facebook, it's lovely to have it open and revive heaps of support and goodwill. Yes after miscarriages it was hard hearing pregnancy and birth announcements but I didn't begrudge people sharing their lovely news. And I've for a friend you kept her pregnancy very low key and now has few visitors and not much support as a new mum -honestly a load of our social circle from further
didn't/ don't know she was pregnant/ has had a baby, and I think she might be better supported if she had announced and then posted baby pics.

Congratulations!

I'm 6+2 and have only told immediate family and my boss, simply because my booking appt falls right before the christmas period and my scan is right after new year, so I needed to make sure she knew why I was going to be away at appointments. Otherwise, I'm waiting til at least the scan to tell people in work/friends etc. It's personal choice and depends on your circumstances, but I've known a couple of people in work who announces prior to their scans, and both unfortunately lost the babies and it made it very difficult for them to then have to tell everyone. I know that's worst case scenario, but that's the exact reason most sources will recommend waiting until after your 12 week(ish) scan as after that point the risk of loss is decreased.

Plus it's quite nice to have a wee secret and then be able to tell everyone your good news further down the line!

xx

Like I said most people know. Work had to know cause i was so ill and then collegues guessed and I didn't correct them. All my family know and my friends so it will only be a few people that don't by the time I do an announcment. I don't see this as a big deal, people knowing doesn't bother me but I know it does other people. Im embracing it, if anything this thread and your replies have made me think it's more common than I thought for something to go wrong, which is why im regretting posting it cause all im doing now is worrying

I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks and like you I was so excited and started telling people. I didn't do fb but I was quite blasé about people knowing. So I had to un tell a lot of people that was so hard.

I am now pregnant again hopefully 3rd time lucky after 2 x mc and I will announce on fb as I think it's nice to do. But mine will be just a status update rather than a scan pic. Seeing a constant stream of scan pics nearly sent me loopy. So I know how I felt. But doesn't mean YOU shouldn't do it.

Announce however feels right to you, but please try and wait until your scan. It's not long to go now

I won't be posting a scan picture I want that to be private and left for just family. Im terrified of my scan and that i will miscarry, I have depression and anxiety and have had to come off my meds, so although i had a moment of being excited about announcing i now don't want to see anyone until I know it's okay

I am only 6.5 weeks and lots of our close friends know. All our family know. I am a very open person and am rubbish at hiding things. If I had a miscarriage I would want these people to know. I would never have kept it a complete secret until 14 weeks and then have to deal with a miscarriage on my own. I'm going to tell the rest of the world at the 12 week scan, but due to the nature of one of my hobbies I will have to tell a big group of my friends at 9-10 weeks anyway.

I am also an open person, so find it hard to keep quiet in the early stages of pregnancy. I think it's such a personal thing, and you shouldn't be made to feel foolish for wanting to tell the whole world - it's such exciting news! I read a very interesting article about the pressure on women to keep shtum during the first trimester, and it questioned whose benefit this was really for. (it's here if you're interested).

That said, of course there is always the real risk of miscarriage, though this drops significantly at 8-9 weeks and then remains throughout pregnancy. For me, I decided to only tell people early on who I would want to know if I had a miscarriage - this meant parents, sister and a couple of very close friends. With no symptoms I haven't had to tell anyone else. We're lucky enough to get a scan at 8 weeks next week, so, as long as there's a heartbeat, I will tell DH's family (lots of siblings!), another couple of close friends, and then anounce more widely after the 12 week scan. But that's just what feels right for me & DH (and if I'm honest, if he was up for being more open I probably would be telling everyone next week!).

I think the key is finding a happy balance between excitement about the pregnancy, and a healthy amount of caution. You don't want to spend your pregnancy worrying about miscarriage, that would be so miserable, so just enjoy this special time. Best of luck!

Well I am having spotting today so im going for a scan in an hour. An internal one. Very worried so glad I didn't announce it but may do if everything's okay after today x

Sorry you're going through this OP. Hope it all goes well at the scan. Do come back and let us know. Many people have spotting and it's absolutely fine.

For what it's worth miscarriage is a lot more common than people think. It's estimated that as many as 1 in 5 pregnancies can end in miscarriage although some of these can be very early. It's probably because we don't talk about it so openly these days that it comes as such a shock when it happens to you. So maybe if we were more open about being pregnant early on more people would be aware of what can go wrong.

Having had 5 miscarriages, one child and now 34 weeks pregnant I've had a lot of experience in the ways of telling people and when! I told close friends and family and people I saw in person (I was really bloated due to medication and having 6 previous pregnancies, it was obvious I looked different) but didn't announce it publicly on social media (Even though I love fb!) until after the 20 week scan when you know most anomalies have been checked for. Partially a reason for not mentioning it on fb is knowing from experience how heartbreaking it is to see healthy scans when you've just lost another baby. You never know what friends or family are going through that without you knowing. Personally I would tell people I saw, email good friends and family further afield and wait until 20 weeks scan to start being open with it on fb etc.

Hope everything's ok!

I'm 18 weeks and have told people I've seen recently, but I definitely want to announce on FB because there are so many people on there, including family who I only have any contact with on FB, who I know I won't see before I give birth but who will definitely want to know my news.

I think the only problem with FB is when people go on and on and on about things which are obviously important to them, but which no one else wants to fill their entire feed. I have a friend with a 4 week old baby and I quite like seeing one or two photos of him every 4 or 5 days, but my friend with a 2.5 year old who still posts five photos a day of him I have had to remove from my feed as it's just boring if you're not actually related to them. Also her spelling and grammar are unbearable!

Haven't decided what I'll actually say for my announcement yet, I think I might post my 20 week scan photo. I will not be changing my profile photo to the scan photo though, that's another thing people do that's really weird and annoying on FB. When we chat it makes me feel like I'm having a conversation with a foetus!

Emily good luck with your scan today, hope all is well. It's totally your choice as to when you tell and who you tell. but just remember that even though you have a small amount of FB friends, once you have posted it it will be seen as public knowledge and the news will be passed on. It will be out of your control. Just have a think about how you feel about that first.

DH and I never alluded to my pregnancy on FB at all but it seems as if you use t slightly differently toe. I have a larger friends list with more casual acquaintances and as a result if never post anything personal on there anyway.

Sorry for the many typos, hope that makes sense!

Publicly on FB - when baby was born.

Family, close friends, boss - after 12-week scan.

Well baby is fine and it's announced.

Thanks everyone

Congratulations!