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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

DP cross with me for being sick

57 replies

lumpyparcel · 18/10/2014 11:55

I've been really sick from finding out I was pg and have often spent days in bed due to this.

The last week has been really bad as I've had a uti aswell so have just tried to get as much rest as possible but DP now is trying to force me to go out and get up as I'm just being lazy etc.

I've been quite sick today and asked if he didn't mind keeping DSS downstairs so I can rest and all he has done is be cross with me. :( It's not my fault I'm so sick and I can't do anything about it. I think he's had enough of me. What can I do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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NaiceNickname · 18/10/2014 12:06

Have you seen your doctor? Are you able to keep food and drinks down or is it just a general sick feeling?

Original poster

lumpyparcel · 18/10/2014 12:10

I have some anti sickness tablets but can only take them twice a day max and they don't cover the whole day. They stop me being sick but not feeling sick so I still feel awful.

OP posts:

susiedaisy · 18/10/2014 12:12

Your dp is being completely unreasonable. Sickness in early pregnancy and a uti is enough to make anyone feel really rough. Rest, drink fluids, eat bland food small and often, go back to gp if you don't feel better by Monday.

3littlefrogs · 18/10/2014 12:14

Your "D"P is a complete and utter arse.

I had hyperemesis with all my pregnancies, and while DH had trouble getting his head round it the first time, by the time I was having the 2nd and third he was brilliant. No online shopping in those days, but he would do everything he could to make sure he did all the shopping and cooking and looking after the DC so I could rest. As well as working very long hours.

You need to see your GP and get them to explain to your partner that you are sick, not lazy.

ShowMeTheWonder · 18/10/2014 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3littlefrogs · 18/10/2014 12:15

Yes - sickness and a UTI as well is grim.
He will have more to worry about if you end up in hospital.

WerewolfBarMitzvah · 18/10/2014 12:18

He's not being very supportive. Have you explained exactly how shit you are feeling? People just don't understand. I had moderate morning sickness right up 'til 23 weeks and my SIL said I was faking it 'cos it stops at 12 weeks'.
Erm, ask my toilet bowl love, he's seen it all.
Tell him there's no two ways about it - you have to rest and drink up. You're turning food into a human!
Hope you get through this soon and congratulations!

Original poster

lumpyparcel · 18/10/2014 12:20

I just feel totally useless. :( I hate the fact that I can't just go and grab some food if I want it because all the smells make me sick and that I can't function like a normal person.

He keeps flipping between being really helpful and being a total dick. yesterday he bought me a lovely big salad up to bed without me even asking and then today when I asked him for a glass of water he said he's not helping me if I don't help myself.

He's been at appts where they've told me to rest and even a trip to the hospital when they thought I was dehydrated.

I just want this baby to be healthy and okay and if that means staying in bed until it's born I'll do it!

OP posts:

BitchPeas · 18/10/2014 12:26

He's being a tosser. I have hyperseremisis at the moment. At first DP was all positive thinking will help you. That only lasted a few days til I started throwing up all over myself In the shower. He got it then! It started when I was 6 weeks I'm now 14 weeks, DP has been a diamond, doing everything round the house, schools runs, food shopping as well as working full time. I have done nothing but lay in bed for 8 weeks.

It's an awful thing that people don't understand, and especially with an UTI it must be awful. You need him on side at the moment!

LouMum14 · 18/10/2014 12:26

Can you move your mother in to look after you to really piss him off? I jest but oh my love I'm so sorry to hear this! Especially if he has attended appointments where you have been told to rest! How frustrating. Stick to your guns and scream if you have to!

WerewolfBarMitzvah · 18/10/2014 12:29

Early pregnancy is really hard, IMO. I was so pukey and as we hadn't told anyone, I had no one to talk to about it. It was quite isolating.

However it didn't last forever. You"ll get there.

Re your DP - tough one. He needs to realise this is a 2 player game.

Have you told him that refusing to help you is arsey (at best!)

3littlefrogs · 18/10/2014 12:30

Finishes at 12 weeks??(hollow laughter)
I was back in hospital on a drip at 38 weeks.

Only stopped throwing up once they were out.

Original poster

lumpyparcel · 18/10/2014 12:32

Sorry if TMI but he shouted at me after I was sick on the bed but I really couldn't help it. I just sat and cried because I just feel disgusting.

I asked him to was the covers and he got cross saying that he's not putting the radiators on just to dry bedding so I'm currently sat with a duvet cover under me and a blanket over me. I must look like a right hobo.

I wish I could ask my mum to come here but she lives quite far away and I'm the eldest of a large spread out family so there's still little ones with her. :( It's her birthday today as well.

Oh I need a hug.

OP posts:

Original poster

lumpyparcel · 18/10/2014 12:33

You're all so nice will you come and look after me lol.

OP posts:

basgetti · 18/10/2014 12:34

He is being an arse. I've got hyperemesis at the moment, I'm 31 weeks tomorrow and my most recent hospital admission was last week. He needs to understand how serious this can be and that there is no magic cut off date. Sorry you are suffering so badly.

IamOldGregg · 18/10/2014 12:36

Could you go and stay with your mum?

Damnautocorrect · 18/10/2014 12:39

I'm sorry but he's done what?!?
Your growing HIS baby inside you, it's his child making you feel this way and he's behaving like this?!
Honestly the only one who is disgusting his him.

Original poster

lumpyparcel · 18/10/2014 12:48

There's no room at my mums and four kids there so I don't think it'd be nice for them to see their big sister in a mess.

I've told him it's not my fault but sometimes when he pops into see me I've had a tablet or I just feel okay for a bit then he says I'm faking it and to get out of bed.

It's been a hard few weeks and I think he's feeling the strain too as he hasn't been able to share the bed with me recently and I do feel bad that he has to do everything for me but there's not much I can do about it currently.

Do your DPs mind or do they get arsy having to do everything too?

OP posts:

sianilovesbeingamummy · 18/10/2014 12:49

My partner jested that when i get pregnant it is as if i am dying but once i showed him my pregnancy apps on my phone and got him to read the info for dads including things about morning sickness and the fact it isnt just a morning thing as it may suggest in the title. I am also studying for uni and have 2 children under 3 so things are pretty hard some days, being sick doesnt bother me as once i am sick i am usually fine, it is the headaches which get me down but my OH can tell when i am really feeling ill and insists i take a break. I am not one to sit down, even if at deaths door, i just cant do it unless i fell i am pushing myself too much and baby could be at harm of course, but as a full time Mum it is impossible to be laid up in bed. I really feel for you as i dont know what i would do if i couldnt get out of bed, as people dont know about my pregnancy yet so only my OH to rely on and he is self employed and works quite hectic days, aswell as being twice my age. We seem to get through things together though after actually talking to each other. The key thing here is to actually sit down calmly once the kids are in bed and talk things through. Dont bottle things up. My partner and i have only recently got back together after an 8month split, decided to try for another and i fell pregnant straight away. That along with planning a wedding which is taking place 6weeks before babies due date has put alot of pressure on us but we are getting on with things great and that is due to communication. Even if what you want to say seems harsh dont worry about it. Be open and honest and things should settle down. It is stressful for the father too as they worry about us and the unborn child aswell as workking and trying to keep the household up and running.
Hope things settle for you both

divingoffthebalcony · 18/10/2014 12:53

He's being a wanker.

I'm 8 weeks pregnant, nauseous as hell and exhausted. DH took the day off work yesterday and looked after our three year old all day while I mostly stayed in bed. He didn't complain, even if he thought I was secretly milking it.

That's what a loving partner is supposed to do.

Is he going to this much of a heartless bastard when you've had the baby, do you think? When you're recovering from the birth, sleep deprived, and need help and TLC?

Lottiedoubtie · 18/10/2014 12:54

I had hypermesis and my DH never treated me like yours is.

Seriously tell him to sort his shit out or move to your mums. Can you see how bad it is that you don't want to scare your little siblings with your illness and yet your DH is actively making it worse?

Refusing to wash bedding is unforgivable I'm so sorry, I know how awful it is.

cheerupandhaveaglassofwine · 18/10/2014 12:58

Sounds like he is being a complete arse, think you need to point out to him it is his fault you are being sick and perhaps he should keep his dick in his pants if he isn't prepared to be loving and helpful

ShowMeTheWonder · 18/10/2014 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JabberJabberJay · 18/10/2014 13:00

Oh god, you poor love.

His behaviour is disgusting. Really awful. I would say abusive actually.

No, most men do not behave like this when their partners are ill and distressed. Just the twattish ones.

Do you have anywhere you can go for a few days? I think some distance from him would be helpful. I would really be questioning continuing to live with this man.

3littlefrogs · 18/10/2014 13:03

Is this your first pregnancy?

How old is DSS and does he live with you?

How long have you been with your partner?

Sorry for questions, but I think you need to consider whether this man really cares about you, and whether he is a keeper.

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