DP cross with me for being sick

[lumpyparcel]

I've been really sick from finding out I was pg and have often spent days in bed due to this.

The last week has been really bad as I've had a uti aswell so have just tried to get as much rest as possible but DP now is trying to force me to go out and get up as I'm just being lazy etc.

I've been quite sick today and asked if he didn't mind keeping DSS downstairs so I can rest and all he has done is be cross with me. :( It's not my fault I'm so sick and I can't do anything about it. I think he's had enough of me. What can I do?

He's now doing the washing as I shouted and said that just because I may look like a tramp currently I do not wish to live like one! Unfortunately the duvet is a none saver. So I'll have to ask him to go buy a new one which should be fun.

My parents are miles away and quite honestly I don't think I could survive a journey there in my state! My mum is upset that I'm not there as it is. I know I'm an adult now but my lovely mum would set me up in bed with a bin bag in a mop bucket and stroke my hair!

Oh I've gone a bit weepy now.

Pregnancy Sickness Support

I had hyperemisis in both pg. it's hideous. All I want to do was sleep until the baby was born. Your partner needs to man up and help you.

Could you ask your mum to come and get you? You can't stay in this state with this horrible man lovely.

I think you need to go to your mum's.
The younger DC will understand that you need to rest as you are being sick.
I am sure your mum would be furious that you are being treated so unkindly.
You have no responsibility for your partner's child, so concentrate on looking after yourself.

Frogs - yes this is my first and dss is four and he's with us at weekends.

He's normally so lovely that's what makes me more sad, he's not normally horrible or arsey or anything like that. We don't even argue. :( I just don't think he thought having a baby would include me being missing in action for 9 months. :(

How far is it?

I used to carry loads of plastic bags and kitchen roll. (Sorry TMI) but sometimes you have to travel.

I'd be tempted to puke in his favourite shoes.

How is he when you're well? Is this behaviour honestly out of the blue?

My XP is the least sympathetic person known to man and even he held my sick bowl, spent hours rubbing my belly and went to the supermarket any time day or night to try to find something, anything, I could face.

Your "D"P is being a massive twat.

The thing is - it is easy to be lovely when there are no challenges to face.
I bet you are a big help with DSS.
It is when the chips are down that you see a person's true colours.

The thing is - it is easy to be lovely when there are no challenges to face.
I bet you are a big help with DSS.
It is when the chips are down that you see a person's true colours

THIS! Do whatever you need to get home to your lovely mum. Leave him to it. You can decide whether you want to continue to live with him once you're feeling better.

Perhaps you don't argue because you don't challenge him?
Not until now that is.
Do you normally do everything for him and DSS?

What I mean is that if you are normally a person that is very capable and giving there is no reason for any argument.

Once you become ill and can't do everything, that is when you find out if the other partner can deal with pulling their weight.

I am probably putting it very badly, I hope you understand what I mean.

He shouted at you for vomiting? That is absolutely awful. I definitely think you should decamp to your mum's. Permanently.

If your future daughter ( lets presume the gender :)) said her husband had shouted at her when being sick, what would your advice to her be?

Do you know why he split up from his ex?

He is behaving like a complete asshole. Point out to him that he is behaving like an asshole and ask him to cease and desist all future attempts at being an asshole. The fact he is picking on you when you are vulnerable says an awful lot about him. People show there true colours at times like this.

Thank you Bike. I've sent him the website as well so he can have a read through.

Mum lives five hours away so it's a fairly large journey when you're feeling like death.

Do you think I should have a word with him about how he's made me feel? There must be something that's made him act like this too.

Is this the first time you've been ill since you got together?

You poor thing. He is being a complete knob. Shouting at anyone when they are ill is bad enough but your pregnant partner? That pretty low.

Tell him to pull himself together and support you. You're in this together and he needs to step up asap

So he's cross with you, pregnant with his child, for not coming downstairs to help him look after his child by another woman?

He doesn't sound very nice to me, OP.

Yonic- I've suffered from panic attacks and depression in the past and he has always been so supportive of the times when I've had to have some time alone or wanted to stay in bed all day and looked after me when I've been a weepy mess.

Frogs - I honestly can't understand why he's being like this all of a sudden. :( We're normally pretty evenly split with housework/looking after DSS etc. In fact I think he normally does more than me.

Dss is kicking off now so it's not been a very good day in the house.

Thank you for all your kind words ladies. You've cheered me up a bit.

He's not cross that I'm not helping to look after DSS but more the fact I've asked him to keep him out the way this weekend. As in not running into the bedroom when DP comes in to talk to me and making sure he's not roaming about upstairs if I've got to dash to the bathroom.

Hmm. He still sounds like an arse.
How old is he?

I hope you don't mind frogs but I don't want to say too much cause you never know who's lurking and we haven't told anyone yet. :)

He doesn't want to leave me and go buy a duvet because we've got builders working outside and he knows I can't deal with them so I'm gonna delve into amazon and get some bits, I'm thinking the waterproof mattress topper will be a good idea and maybe I'll buy myself some treats Thanks for the advice alter!

Of course I don't mind at all.
It isn't my business.
But it would be good for you to think about these questions.

I hope you feel better soon.
I think everyone on here is pretty shocked.
Please put yourself first and take care.

Right I've spoken to him and he's sad that he's made me sad and said he's just missing me and feels bad that I'm poorly and he can't make me better and he didn't mean to shout but he just didn't know how to handle it any more. -_- Preaching to the choir. I'm not having a massively wonderful time to be honest!

He now keeps coming in every few seconds to see if I'm okay and tidying around me.

I don't feel bad for him and he's not forgiven for being a dick but he has seen the error of his ways for now. I have requested a mop bucket and bin bag like my mum would do and he said he'll go when the builders have left.

I'm not excusing him but I think if he does this kind of thing again I'll be telling him I'm off to my mums for a week while he figures out a way to 'cope'.