"Are you allowed to eat that?"-weird food advice you've received when pregnant

[ChickenMe]

Hi

I've noticed that people love to tell us pregnant ladies what we can and can't do and no more so than when it comes to my favourite subject, food.

MIL, soon after being told I was expecting, exclaimed in a panic "eggs! You mustnt eat eggs!". Conversely she says it's fine to drink booze "so long as you don't get really drunk". Lol.

Upon mentioning tuna, prawns, fish, seafood in general Ive had "are you allowed that?" from several people. Poor condemned fish!

The funniest one was chatting to a woman at work and she says "grapefruit" in a rather stern way. Apparently it's not allowed.

I find it amusing that the above proscribed foods are all pretty healthy yet no one would blink an eye lid if I were to inhale Haribo or mainline Fanta for nine months (just don't eat eggs).

What ridiculous or hilarious food advice have you received from anxious well wishers?

While the fact most of the advice is half baked is exasperating, what I find more irritating is how people feel the can suddenly give it.
In the worst cases they are implicitly saying- I need to intervene to protect your baby from you!
I have spent a lot of time reading the available information so as to understand where the risk are from, what is ok and what is not and make informed sensible choices that don't put my baby in undue risk. Therefore it makes me cross when people interfere as if I was a careless idiot.
Making me feel I need to explain and justify Eg: explaining cooked seafood is ok; unpasteurised hard cheese and cooked any cheese is ok; that though I might be having a coffee after lunch, I have reduced my caffeine intake to below levels considered risky; that though I might be drinking a tiny glass of wine with a meal, a tiny amount is not a problem and feeling I have to explain that I only have even the tiny glass once in a while, not even once a week etc. etc.

My DB was adamant his wife couldn't eat cheesecake as it contained cheese It was from a packet! I then ate loads of it when pregnant just to rub it in meanie

Seriously, some of the comments on here? People are just trying to be helpful, and NHS guidelines have changed over the years so those who had children 8-10 years ago will have been told different things to we are now. They aren't being horrible. They aren't even being controlling. They aren't turning you into public property. Why not just smile and ignore, or even plain lighten up. It gets worse you know when you have kids and everyone (especially those without dcs) has an opinion on sleeping, teething, feeding etc

Brie, cured meats, parma ham, mussels in one meal - and you were surprised someone commented? All of those are against NHS advice, so it is a personal choice. Not one I would make.

Eggs from hens in someone's back garden - I'd cook those well too, as home reared hens are rarely salmonella vaccinated.

There is usually logic to what people say even if you don't agree with them.

Oh, and if someone touches your bump.... try not to kill them

India is full of Indian babies whose mums eat spicy food and who eat spices themselves when weaned

Someone told me off for eating a very mild curry when bf dd was a few weeks old. I said something like 'what the fuck do you think they eat in India then, egg and bloody chips?' And they went a bit quiet. In my defence I was very sleep deprived. And really needed that curry.

I have since learned from a lovely Indian in-law that nursing mothers in many parts of India are indeed given a special much less spicy, blander diet.

I was just reading some of the more amusing comments on this thread to my husband and musing that I had not been on the receiving end of any such comments. My husband's response "no... Probably just as well...".

Citron Yes and that attitude can actually trigger pre natal anxiety and depression ... which can raise the risk of pnd. In someone already heading that way, the implication the mum cannot trust herself and might accidentally hurt her child, and the idea that others are judging her a bad mother, can be a bit of a trigger.
Obviously not a one off daft comment - but a relative (or husband ... and don't get me started on that "hr only controls me because he cares" bullsh*t) banging on and on can be risky.
Also trawling the Web looking for risk. There will be a website out there saying anything/everything is deadly.

dale Not all parts! (I am mixed heritage myself). In some parts nusing mums are given extra of certain spices as they are said to be medicinal! In most parts they just eat normally.

I know citron, annoying right?

No-one's told me off for gardening, but you are MUCH more likely to get toxo from gardening without gloves than eating a rare steak.

The last major outbreaks of listeria in the US were traceable to melons, celery and turkey. Melons and celery, people.

Sushi is fine, even the NHS says so.

And worse: 'it's a personal choice': exactly. It's my choice. I don't expect anyone to stick their oar in about any other aspect of my life - if someone came up to me in a café and said 'Oooh, you shouldn't order chips, you'll give yourself coronary heart disease', I'd tell 'em to do one. There's logic in that too, but it's still none of their business.

Haven't got to the bump-touching stage yet. I did see a nice T the other day that said 'HANDS OFF THE BUMP'

People are such busybodies. Makes you wonder how we managed to produce babies for tens of thousands of years without all this advice (advice which varies wildly across cultures, anyway.)

The raspberries were probably a long forgotten memory of raspberry leaf tea, which is reputedly useful in the last month to tone the uterine muscles.

Eggs can be problematic if they're containing salmonella, and raw (as in homemade mayonnaise)!

Soft cheese can be problematic if its not grilled as it can contain bacteria such as tuberculosis (highly unlikely as milk is pasteurised before cheese is made)
Pineapple contains bromelin, a chemical which can soften the cervix, and is used in the last month of pregnancy.

Tuna is recommended only twice a week max as tuna are carnivores, they eat other fish, and heavy toxic metals may be concentrated in their flesh- same goes for mackerel.

Fenugreek spice is especially used in India post partum as its a galactalogue - it helps make milk.

Very spicy dishes such as vindaloo are used as an enema to hurry up labour- in the same way as drinking castor oil is/was.

Don't do it ladies, the baby doesn't come out your bum, and having the runs before labour can be exhausting especially if you get dehydrated.

The most damaging thing about food and pregnancy is that there is a belief that the baby needs more food than s/he actually does. I was told by the hospital dietician that ONLY 400 calories extra were needed per day- and only in the last trimester really - that's a chicken salad sandwich, for three months.

It's so depressing ballooning, and then having weight on years after pregnancy, (not that easy to find time to exercise post partum, and sleep deprived) so go easy on the empty carbs!

Raspberries - confused with raspberry leaf tea
Shop sandwiches - possible risk of listeria
Ham - possible risk of listeria (according to US)
Eggs - fine as long as properly cooked
Prawns - fine as long as cooked
Tuna - restrict, due to Mercury levels
Peanuts - outdated advice
Grapefruit - not sure, I know I had grapefruit juice when trying to conceive

As you can see, I was a little bit obsessed during my pregnancy and googled everything! That said, I still ate shop bought sandwiches (with a small amount of worry). Most of the rest I'm not fussed about anyway; likewise I don't like Brie or similar cheeses and I don't drink. In my defence, she was a miracle baby and I needed to keep her safe.

Worserevived - "Brie, cured meats, parma ham, mussels in one meal - and you were surprised someone commented? All of those are against NHS advice, so it is a personal choice."

No, they aren't against NHS advice. Cured meat & Parma ham are effectively "proceed with caution" and cooked mussels are fine.

I'm surprised that you mentioned that people base their comments on outdated advice and then fell into the same trap yourself. It's really easy to Google the NHS advice. Which most women will do when they find out that they are pregnant.

I wish people would just F**K OFF please abstain from giving advice to pregnant women.

It's absolutely up to you what you eat when you are pregnant. There's government advice but it's just that. Advice. Doesn't need to be reiterated by others along with all their other misconceived ideas of pregnancy diets.

@amummyatlast - I find your list very interesting!

It's true that NHS advice is not to eat soft cheeses, seafood etc. because of the risk of listeria, but in fact we are more likely to contract listeria from pre-prepared salads and shop-bough sandwiches. Fact.

Semantics Pico, I'm pregnant myself, I know what the NHS advises. Proceed with caution is exactly what I'm talking about it being a judgement call and they don't recommend it.

Parma ham is the toxoplasmosis risk, that isn't taken particularly seriously, but is actually quite serious if you contract it. Same with listeria - chances of getting it are tiny, consequences can be devastating.

My point is, there are risks, we are advised about them, it is up to us whether we want to take those risks, and other people pointing this out, well, deal with it. They aren't being horrible.

I find the whole professionally offended how dare someone speak to me, touch me, give an unasked for opinion, or dare to suggest I shouldn't do something attitude of some pregnant women baffling. I appreciate hormones can make us all a but touchy, but really???

As for pate, mentioned upthread, again, listeria risk.

You wouldn't suggest an overweight person stop eating the hamburger and chips they were tucking into would you @worserevived? So why is it OK to suggest what a pregnant woman should be eating?

I'm not pregnant so not touchy, thanks!

It's more important ime that you don't catch flu when pregnant.

Having this kind of virus can seriously damage your babe. I know one lady who had flu and her DS was born with Alzheimer like plaques in his brain- a direct result of the virus.

Get that flu vaccine, and don't risk it.

Also research shows that pregnant ladies who have the common cold viruses have more chance of having a baby who grows up with mental health issues later - so don't shake hands- keep your scarf on if all around you are coughing and spluttering and be sure to keep your hands away from your nose and mouth when out and about, and especially when visiting doctors' surgeries!!

Worserevived - no, not semantics, you were wrong to say that cured meats, parma ham and mussels are "against NHS advice", as that isn't what the NHS advice says.

If you can't quote medical advice accurately then don't give it out. In some ways that sums up the whole thread.

The people listing non banned food as a bad idea based on Google make me sad.

I fought to overcome pregnancy anxiety, and had CBT precisely to avoid doing this kind of thing. If the nhs says it's ok, go for it. Seriously, as someone who has had losses and illnesses, these foods aren't a major risk at all in the UK. Enjoy anything the nhs says is ok.
Go ogling and following other rules doesn't add protection, it's mimicking the symptoms of anxiety.

It can also trigger guilt and upset if someone sees the post and thinks "shit, I ate that!".
Over 9 months I saw hundreds of very very upset and worried threads on the pregnancy boards based on seeing someone declaring a food banned based on their choice not guidance. One stupid comment can lead to thread after thread of reassurance for months.

Wtf have you got a link that backs up that about cold viruses in pregnancy linked to mental health issues?!

worse go and ask a hcp. Follow their advice. Trust me, I've asked leading anti miscarriage experts and they are happy with the nhs guidelines (guidelines vary nation to nation due to hygiene rules, food prep etc).

Doing more is usually pointless and can be a doorway to intrusive thoughts ... maybe not for you, but for someone reading this.
Your tone is very much how "real" tiny risks are and sounds a bit holier than thou.
Exactly the kind of post that might worry someone else needlessly.
If you want to control your food in excess of medical advice do: but don't represent it as necessary.

Wtf have you got a link that backs up that about cold viruses in pregnancy being linked to mental health issues?!

Sorry for the double post there!

There have been studies showing a correlation between season of birth and some illnesses, however I don't think that the mechanism is understood.

Googling gave me this study for flu & bipolar disorder.

I haven't looked for studies on the cold virus - I'll leave it for VenusRising to post.

Just marking place due to being scared about the cold thing - am currently laid up in bed with a combination of morning sickness and a coldy virusy thing.