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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Coping with 3 year old and housework whilst being sick

33 replies

Glitterbug21 · 10/10/2014 14:20

I am a new poster so I hope i am putting this in the right place. I am in the early stages of my second pregnancy and I just can't keep any fluids or food down. Every time I stand up or try to do something I end up with my head in the toilet.

With my last pregnancy I ended up in and out of hospital with HG. I'm not looking for sympathy just some advice on what to do. I haven't got much support as I live quite away from any family and my husband works long hours. People keep telling me to just get on with it and "pregnancy isn't an illness" "You can't just laze around you have a house and child to care for"

I feel like a failure, I'm scared of my husband coming home to a messy house and I can just about take care of my 3yr old DD. Please help me and tell me I can get through this, what am I supposed to do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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HaroldLloyd · 10/10/2014 14:21

The answer is you can't do housework.

Why are you scared about what your husband will say?

FelixTitling · 10/10/2014 14:24

People keep telling me to just get on with it and "pregnancy isn't an illness" "You can't just laze around you have a house and child to care for"

Who are these ridiculous people? At the moment you need to rest and do the best you can for yourself and your little girl. The housework can wait, and dh should be helping you when he gets in till you feel better.

Stillwishihadabs · 10/10/2014 14:26

You are doing brilliantly not to have gone in to hospital,not to get your dh home from work so you can go to bed (I'd be hugely tempted) .If you are both alive at the end of the day you have done well. My only advice is salt and vinegar crisps in front of cbeebies.Oh and get him to take her swimming at the weekend.

ShowMeTheWonder · 10/10/2014 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Glitterbug21 · 10/10/2014 14:31

In think when the husband gets home on his break he will have to cook himself dinner as there is No way I can go near food at the moment.

Im just trying to take little sips of water but im instantly hucking little bits back up (tmi sorry)

I'm worried because people seem to think I'm not trying when I really am, my husband hates a messy house and so do I but there really is nothing I can do. People keep telling me I've got to cope better and im tears because I literally don't know what to do. At first If I got up and pottered about I felt better because I wasn't thinking about it but these past two days I have just gotten past that stage.

I've managed to wash a few dishes and pick up some bits and bobs off the floor, I did get dressed but I'm back in my dressing gown on the sofa with a bucket.

OP posts:

Elletorrito · 10/10/2014 14:32

Hi glitter. Sounds like you have had some pretty unhelpful comments. Somebody said that "pregnancy isn't an illness" to me yesterday. I just left a massive pause and gave him a sarcastic look, he got the point... If it had been a couple of weeks ago I might have been tempted to vomit on his shoes.

I have hg and was sick until 28 weeks, followed by fainting spells and weakness. House work is not an option, I need to rest or I am too unwell to do anything. We have a cleaner and do service washes at the laundromat every 2 weeks or so. It is a case of accepting that we need to outsource.

My husband is looking after me and my toddler and he works long hours too. I'm sure yours will step up to the plate when/ if needed.

ShowMeTheWonder · 10/10/2014 14:34

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 10/10/2014 14:35

Standards have to drop when you are pregnant with a toddler. Even without HG, I found the first trimester so so difficult. DH basically did everything with dd (Id go to bed as soon as ge walked in the door), and he would pick up a really easy simple dinner on his way home from work (I was on toast!). Whilst I felt guilty at not being able to do a bigger share, I was never scared of DHs reaction.

I mean, you are growing his child. You really are already pulling your weight and he is simply going tk have to do a bit.more round the house and with dd. Its only a few months.

Original poster

Glitterbug21 · 10/10/2014 14:35

Thank you everyone for the kind words so far its nice to know I'm not the only one who has gone through this.

I have watched all my friends go about their pregnancies with very little sickness and I envy them so much.

I don't think my own mother or my mother in law had any idea how I feel, they just seem to think that because they have been pregnant I must just be doing something wrong or being a wimp, did anyone else feel like this?

I would get myself to a Dr but at the moment I have no one to come with me, even if I did no one could look after my DH.

I can't really afford childcare at the moment as we don't get any help with the costs and my husband cannot afford to take time off work.

OP posts:

HaroldLloyd · 10/10/2014 14:36

He's just going to have to do stuff when he gets home from work, you simply can't do it all.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 10/10/2014 14:36

Maybe you could take yourself to the Walk In centre tomorrow (assuming dh is off at the weekend?)

Elletorrito · 10/10/2014 14:37

Oh and these "people" obviously didn't have hg so they have no idea what they are talking about. Ignore them. Only important bit of housework is to ensure you have a bucket available wherever you are. Top tip, put a little bit of Ajax and water (if you can stand the smell) in the bottom and it's easier to clean up.

Stillwishihadabs · 10/10/2014 14:38

I would get yourself to the gp/local walk in centre or labour ward (at the hospital you are booked at) get your dh back ASAP. FFS you would think in 2014 with all HRH the duchess of Cambridge has gone through people would have a bit more cop.

ShowMeTheWonder · 10/10/2014 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Glitterbug21 · 10/10/2014 14:41

Oh yes I've already passed out on the stairs and fallen down them as well. I haven't gone to to the hospital because I felt fine afterwards and obviously not much is going to get done for a bruised tailbone.

I am scared to ask anyone for help in case I start getting the lecture about coping. My husband is due home on his break in a few hours so I will talk to him them and see if he can make a few calls for me and get me to a Dr.

OP posts:

Elletorrito · 10/10/2014 14:42

Take your toddler to gp. When you phone emphasise that you are solely responsible for dd and v worried that you are not able to look after her properly. This ought to flag up a safe guarding issue for gp and will help you get seen sooner. Try and get some drugs ASAP.

ShowMeTheWonder · 10/10/2014 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elletorrito · 10/10/2014 14:46

Cross posted. If you are fainting id ring the gp now and try for a phone consultation. You need to be in a fit state to look after your dd as well as yourself. The gp will prioritise you. Don't wait or you will end up having to go to a walk in.

Don't mean to alarm or pester you. You can do this. It's just a phone call

Stillwishihadabs · 10/10/2014 14:50

Or if you have to call 999. It IS an emergency, they will take your toddler with you. Believe me health care professionals are very good at phoning your Dm/dmil/ dh and saying "please come and collect glitter ' Dd. Glitter is being admitted for intravenous fluids. Losing consiousness when you have sole care of a child is serious. It is endangering 3 people's health for you not to seek medical advice. Please do it.

Original poster

Glitterbug21 · 10/10/2014 14:52

Thank you everyone for your advice, I feel more like someone who needs help now and not someone who is failing.

Just about to make some calls.

OP posts:

muddylettuce · 10/10/2014 14:55

I am in a similar boat. My dd is 17 months and I am 7 weeks. I have been being sick and feeling nauseous before I even took a test. I have given up on housework. My dp moaned for a day then got over it because ultimately he can see how I am feeling. He knows this is all temporary and he won't have to pick up the pieces forever (only when I'm too tired in the 3rd trimester and again when the baby is born haha!) I feel most guilty about my dd and the lack of entertainment so I have just bought some crafty bits in an attempt to amuse her indoors from the safety of my sofa if necessary but feel resigned to the fact she might see a bit more of the tv than usual. I am trying to remind myself it's not forever. I am no where near fainting and falling down the stairs though. That is the sign of something serious and I suggest you seek help asap. I hope your dh helps you get help this afternoon. X

Stillwishihadabs · 10/10/2014 14:57

Good luck Glitter going on school run now but will check back later.

theonewiththenoisychild · 10/10/2014 15:01

as for pregnancy isnt a illness.... no its not but it CAN cause illness like hg which sounds like you may have. sorry havent read the whole thread as its time for the school run. i had bad nausea for a few weeks week 7-10 and did the bare minimum of housework for those few weeks because even doing the minimum i had to do it a bit at a time as everytime i stood up i felt very ill. be kind to youself if anyone moans about the housework throw a duster and point to the vaccume and tell them to get on with it

Original poster

Glitterbug21 · 10/10/2014 16:38

Update, husband came home did a bit of houseowork. Still haven't been able to get to a dr as we have had to call in a plumber because our toilet decided to flood the house.

Great just what I need.

Husband has to go to work at 6 and no one is offering to get me to hospital. Waiting for a call back from local GP as well.

Feel like no one is helping.

OP posts:

littleducks · 10/10/2014 16:52

Your local pharmacy should stock ketone sticks to dip in your urine. I bought some OTC in my third pregnancy so I knew when I needed an A&E trip for IV fluids.

Are you on any drugs atm? IME a hospital trip if you aren't keeping fluids down is the quickest way to sort this. You get IV fluids and med in IV line to settle you and then discharged with a prescription. Whenever i went to the GP i ended up needing to go to hospital anyway.

Go asap. I was an idiot and only ever went when i was at collapsing point. i didn't want my kids to miss me so would wait until husband was home and go when they were in bed. Looking back (baby is 1) it was so foolish but i think the dehydration stops you thinking rationally, i don't think i realised how ill i was.

When you are feeling better there is a HG support thread on her where you can whinge about it unrelentingly without being judged abd get tips about drug combinations and food.

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