10-11 weeks and too much booze, flat-out terrified

[Dustyblue]

I realise this topic has been done, and I've read through some old posts but I'm in such a panic I could really use some advice/views. I just don't know where to get solid info on this.

I'm 40 with no children, partnered for 15 years and we didn't think we were likely to have kids without ivf. Long story, but I've a low ovarian reserve even for my age and have always had very irregular cycles.

I just found out I'm at least 10w gone at best guess . I had no idea. The only symptoms have been mildly sore boobs and no period since early August, both of which I put down to wacky hormones. I went to the doc worried about early menopause. I can't get in for a scan for another 1.5 weeks. Doc tested serum hcg and that combined with LMP suggests I'm 10 or 11 weeks preg.

The alcohol I've consumed in that timeframe scares the bejesus out of me. No major binges, but I drank like I typically do- 2 or 3 times a week, 1-4 drinks at a time. Not enough to ever be hungover but still, this is clearly not ideal. My first thought was 'Oh no, this is my little miracle and I'll have to abort b/c of the alcohol!' but I'm desperately clinging to the hope it might be ok?

I'd never forgive myself if I terminated (am in no way against it, just in this circumstance it'd horrify me... this babe is very wanted and is likely our only chance) but I'd never forgive myself if I impaired my child either.

The GP said there's no way of knowing.... pretty much 'you might be lucky or you might not' and left me to decide.

I'm desperate, please any words of wisdom here (positive or not) might give me some clarity..... what do you think?

Years ago I went and got hammered with my mate. Her terrible hangover turned into a baby 6 months later. She had spent the first 3 months boozing obliviously. This child now smart as anything and 10.

Congratulations- try not to worry. Start taking a prenatal vitamin and push for an earlier scan- could you afford a private one)

Oh wow, thanks so much for all these wonderful replies. There are too many to single out but really, I appreciate this A LOT.

Terminating was a panic reaction; now I've calmed down somewhat I know I couldn't do it without a severe, known problem.... which really doesn't seem to be the case here I'm thinking.

Have done some more reading and it's starting to look like this isn't likely to be a problem at all... in fact genetic problems at my age are more probable. At least that's a risk everyone my age shares and not something I've done iykwim.

Am getting more convinced the medical profession in general have really overstated this risk.

Whoever said 'It'll still be at the back of your mind all the way through' is bang-on correct. I'm going to try my hardest to stay positive.

Thanks again everyone. I tried to book in for the 12w u/s (I need to see this to believe it) but I have to wait till 13w. Spoke to my GP again today and she's convinced I'm about 11 now, so a patience is my friend

Glad you're feeling a bit more at ease, will keep everything crossed for a happy and healthy pregnancy and babe for you

OP, I would echo everyone who has said put it out your mind. Your baby will be absolutely fine.

Are you feeling very anxious, and using this as a peg for your anxiety? Just a thought, not meaning to come over all Freudian. But must be a hell of a shock to suddenly discover a pregnancy, especially in your situation, and evem if it's a good shock.

Try not to panic.

I found out i was pregnant with my first child after a week of birthday celebrations including vast amounts of boozing and smoking.

Got pregnant with no.2 on a sunshine holiday (boozy!) and only realised I was pregnant when my 'hangover' puking from a party was still going on 4 days later.

Both times I stopped drinking as soon as I realised (bar a couple of very small glasses of red when very overdue with no.1!)...

Both babies were fine.

Its sustained heavy drinking that does the real damage. How many of us were conceived on a drunken night, I wonder?

I have an acquaintance who didn't find out she was pregnant until almost 5 months (completely unplanned, she was a 22 year old wild child) and merrily spent the first 4.5 months of her pregnancy partying, drinking and smoking...much to her mortification and guilt when her weight gain and digestive troubles turned out to be a baby!

Said baby is now a gorgeous, completely healthy 18 month old.

as my gp said never worry about what can't be changed. Someone else who didn't find out till 13 weeks was told by an adding gp 'unless you've been in the gutter every night with a bottle of vodka I wouldn't worry'

When I was preg someone bought me some manky old pregnancy book from a charity shop that recommended not drinking more than 14 units of alcohol a week during pregnancy.

There's your answer I think. relax, unless you are understating your consumption if your baby has fas I will offer to dance naked around trafalgar Square.

congratulations

My friend got preg at 20 and her husband left her, and she was in a bad place and drank (and smoked) throughout. Her daughter was perfect and still is 18 years later (just off to uni now!)

Try not to worry xxx

Congratulations

I agree with everyone else, there's no real need to worry. I had my DS 4 months ago and only found out that I was pregnant after a holiday to celebrate 2 wedding anniversaries and my birthday - there was a lot of booze flowing! I was even smoking, and drinking straight Malibu out of the bottle while sitting on a pier looking out over the Med - it was lovely (but not classy!)

All will be well!

Just adding my little bit! I found out in early January after an incredibly boozy festive season - during which I also ate every forbidden food and smoked like a chimney. DS was 10lb 12oz. He is now 12 and is in 2nd row for his school U14 Rugby team (in other words he is a monster!) - he has no developmental issues, has an immune system most would envy (although he was violently ill after vaccinations so didn't have any more). I did bf for two years which may have helped, although he probably consumed all sorts of shite that way as I can't remember being overly cautious.
My mother at 41 had a very boozy wedding and then hiked to Everest base camp (munching altitude sickness pills along the way) for her honeymoon. My brother tipped up 5 months later and now has a 1st in design for engineering (or something like that).

@Dustyblue So I am totally in your boat. I realized you posted in 2014, but would love to hear how you have a healthy child :)

Wow, what a zombie thread!

@NashvileMom, as everyone told me back in 2014- please DO calm down sweetheart! As I remember it, until the placenta has grown & starting feeding baby from your bloodstream, it is in it's own space and (largely) unaffected.

I won't lie- that pregnancy ended in miscarriage BUT (and it's a big BUT) it was caused by a diagnosed genetic fault. So I would've miscarried even if I'd drunk nothing but kale & beetroot juice!

You'll be ok and your bub will be ok. And if not, it won't be because of alcohol at this point!

Btw I had my 1st/only child at almost 42. He's 4 and eating pizza watching Peppa Pig.

Hugs and best of luck xxx

Thanks for the support @Dustyblue Sorry for your loss, but it sounds like you have a happy ending. Congrats!

Hi,
I just found out I was 10 weeks pregnant and I am dealing with a simulcast dilemma! Before I found out I was pregnant I had 3 miscarriages back to back and I’m sure u can imagine the devastation. Well it lead to drinking 2 bottles a wine a day and I am worried because I was obviously still drinking and smoking when I found out I was pregnant! I am so upset with myself and scared shit less! I have 2 healthy children (12 and 3) but now I’m worried that my actions will harm the baby! What do I do? Should I terminate? I don’t know I am a mess! I have never been in this type of situation, so any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Hi @Rmarieb3 - I think you’d be better starting your own thread, because this is an old one (with a brilliant update, thank you @Dustyblue!) so a lot of people might see the date and not spot your post.

I’m sorry about your miscarriages. That must have been so hard. I think the best thing you can do now is be completely honest with your midwife about how much you have been drinking, so she can monitor your pregnancy and give you the most appropriate advice.

She can also help get you some support in dealing with your loss and addressing your alcohol use. Drinking 2 bottles of wine a day will have been having a massive impact on your 12 and 3 year old children, and going from consuming that amount to stopping altogether, as you imply, can be quite dangerous for your own health. I think, whatever happens with your pregnancy, you will benefit from getting some specialist help.

Hi @Ogwen thank you so much for responding! I am very new to all this and I have no idea how to start a new thread! Since my post I have not drank and it has been a lot easier then I thought! I explained to my doc what was going on and she reassured me that I am not the only mom who has been through what I’m going through and NOT to stress. She also explained that more than 60% of women that drank, smoked etc before they knew they were pregnant go on to have a healthy baby! Definitely was a huge relief but still worried. It’s hard not to stress about the “what if’s” my depression from the miscarriages has been a battle for me but now I find my self worrying and losing sleep. If anything happens to this baby I know I will lose it 😔