Pushy people - on the verge of killing someone here!

[Bigoldsupermoon]

I'm currently 40+6 with first baby, and I'm on the verge of killing a certain someone.

I've kind of gone into myself a bit - like most women at this point, I'm knackered, uncomfortable, acid-y and grumpy. I've let people know that I'll be keeping it fairly low-key until baby arrives, and that I won't be announcing when I've gone into labour - I'll just be letting people know once baby is here and I've had a chance to recover.

Last week, this person (family member) texted me "ARE WE THERE YET?". I was a bit put out (like, yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking!), but texted back, "Are we bugger!". The next day, I get another text:

"ARE WE THERE YET?"

I ignored it. About eight hours later, I get another text:

"ARE WE THERE YET?"

I responded after an hour or two that I'd have to kill this person if they kept texting me that, and that they'd know when there was something to know. I got the silent treatment for a few days, then a phone call the day before yday. It was friendly enough - I didn't apologise, they didn't apologise, but I made it clear how much stress/pressure I'm currently under, what with second sweep and induction both being booked in already if there's no progress. I reiterated that I'd let people know if/when anything happened, but that I just wanted a peaceful last few days of my pregnancy.

I thought I'd got my point across, but I just got a text:

"ARE WE THERE YET?"

I'm actually on the verge of lighting a flame-thrower here. Are people normally so fucking pushy when it comes to getting news about pregnancy? AIBU to be absolutely livid? I don't think I'm a mumzilla, but come tf on - I'm finding this really rude and insensitive!

I would ignore it. Hit delete and block their number until after the birth! Fucking annoying though. Do you know ther persons address? If I were you I'd go through the internet signing them up for all kinds of marketing spam as revenge.

I think I'm going to have to, Mrscog - I mean, what do you do if death threats don't work?!

God help them if they send another one in eight hours, though; I do know their address, so they might be in line for a few treats...

I would txt back

"NOT FUNNY"

The barstards....this is exactly the reason I am telling everyone I am due beginning of April, due date is 22 March I was two weeks late last time and wanted to kill dp's parents

Why do they keep sending the same message?! No "Hi, how're you doing?" And what's with the WE? Think you need to brainstorm good replies (or ignore completely):
You tell me? I'm not are you? Are we where? We're exactly where we were when we last checked!
Even if this was from someone I was really really close to I'd be ignoring it. I expect we'll have lots of phone calls from my MIL and GIL but will get my husband to answer/screen them.

The only reasonable response is FUCK OFF.

I don't understand their choice of words anyway. Are we there yet? What do you mean "we"? And what do they mean by "there"? No, family member, the baby's head isn't crowning yet, so definitely not "there".

Honestly, anyone stupid and insensitive enough to harrass a poor beleaguered overdue woman needs a kick up the arse. They will hear the birth announcement in due course, now kindly STFU.

I've learnt my lesson Pretty - I'll be following your lead next time. Funnily enough, I thought DH's parents would be a pain in the arse, but this person's on my side of the family!

Good luck with your pregnancy, btw!

'HOW DO I KNOW - ASK THE PERSON DRIVING THE CAR'

Jenny / Diving I assume it's supposed to be some kind of hilarious joke, but I'm kind of missing the hilarious part of it, too.

I feel like I'm being really harsh, because they're clearly impatient for news, but I'm really getting f*cked off with it. If anyone's stressed out waiting for this baby, it's bloody me. I've already told them that; I've told them I have a sweep booked in, and an induction, and I've told them that I want peace and will let people know when there's something to know

F*CK OFF and STFU is about right, tbh.

How about 'I think you should see a neurologist as you've got amnesia pretty fucking badly you insensitive fucker'

And YY prettywhiteguitar, I'm pg with DC2 - due date 22nd April, due date told to family - 2nd May. Ha ha ha, don't know why I feel so clever but never mind!

at all you cunning date-changers!

I've not even told my mum about sweeps and induction and things - no one other than the three of us in our new family need to know what's going on with my vagina and cervix thanks very much.

I'm now 11 days over my original due date, I'm with you on rude bastards. My work colleagues are tag teaming - it's not the same person texting each day, they are sharing it around, but I know that when the text gets sent, they are all together in the staff room 'wondering'.

My mum has said that she's bought two pink balloons and two blue ones, and will attach one to the gate of their house in the appropriate colour so she doesn't have to keep telling people. The other one is for the bench in the VILLAGE SQUARE. FFS!! I don't even live there, yet everyone is bugging my parents about it, so they are going to have to 'announce' it via balloon in the middle of the village. How absurd.

To be honest I've found the public sharing of pregnancy news really weird all along. We didn't even tell our parents that I was pregnant until 17 weeks, at which point we were in 'trouble'. It's our secret.. not yours. Why are people so interested in it? Stupid.

One friend texts every couple of days with 'please let me know if you want anything doing' - erm, how are you on C-sections?

You feel you're being harsh? They're clearly desperate for news?

No. Nooooooo.

Being desperate for news is no excuse for unfunny jokes and acting like you've already given birth and forgotten to tell anybody.

Fuck off was as polite as I managed last time. Although I found that giving my mil status updates on cervical mucus worked brilliantly once she hadn't responded to dh's insistent reply that we would tell her once ds was born and weren't likely to forget.

Tbh couldn't sodding forget given she was calling every day from 37 weeks as she had gone into labour at 38 and was certain That I would as well. Buy 42 weeks both of us were ready to commit matricide.

Elcs this time and I'm refusing to say more than it'll be at some point around 39 weeks and my 'due date' means tosh so no point telling anyone it.

Goats- wow at village balloon announcing :)

OMG that would drive me mad and I'm not even pregnant. Overdue and with hormones a-raging I would have gone totally postal.

This is exactly why I also lied about my due date second time round. As it's too late for that I think it would be reasonable to block their messages.

'Oh hi X - lovely to hear from you. Just to let you know that I'm now blocking your number until after the birth, as our little chat the other day clearly went utterly over your head. I'll get X or X to let you know when the baby is here. I know, not ideal but better than ripping off your head and sticking it so far up your arse that your tonsils will be answering the question 'ARE WE THERE YET?'! Ha ha pregnancy humour eh. Speak to you next month. Much love, Big'

Goats I feel like a mug, tbh - this person is actually one of my parents and, although we're not particularly close (we chat every week or two), I figured I could expect better - especially given that I've made it clear I want some space and will let people know when there's been some progress.

I told them about the sweep/induction precisely to let them know how much stress/pressure I'm currently under, in the hopes of getting through to them that repeatedly bugging me is out of order. After all, as I pointed out, it's hardly nice to be reminded that shit like that is on the near horizon.

I'm sorry you're getting the same kind of treatment from your work colleagues, and I'm absolutely about the balloons! Genuinely, I'm actually sitting here with my mouth open. I really can't work out what possesses some people...

castlemilk I think I'd like to appoint you as my Pregnancy Communications Manager at this point!

There's some good responses here.

I would tell them if they contact you again about whether baby is here or not, not only will you be blocking their number (you can get apps for that), you will not be telling them when baby does arrive and they'll be left to find it out second hand off someone else.

Me and DH haven't told any of his family my due date this time because we're expecting trouble and tantrums from his estranged mother. So his family think its late Feb, early March, whereas due date is 16th Feb and I'm probably having a section, so will be earlier. Otherwise we'd have had to have asked his family to lie to his (not at all dear) DM.

Castlemilk you just made my day

I rather like the balloon idea! In denmark you put a stork outside with a pink or blue cloth from its beak with a doll in it.

Please usecastlemilks response!

I once answered the phone with yes im still pregnant - anything els? No? Bye then.

To be fair, even though it's my mum with the balloons, that's just her way of dealing with people bothering her - she's not bothering me at all. Nor are boyfriend's parents. They've both waited for us to call them, which we have done every couple of days. I figure they probably get excited every time the phone goes, because there has been enough time for something to have happened since the last call, so we just immediately say 'nothing to report... anyway... ' before talking about other stuff. My brother phoned last night to see if I was alright, rather than if there was a baby, which was quite nice of him. 'It must be fucking frustrating' was his opening line, then he talked about our building work and stuff to do with surfing, so all good.

Goats Could you get your mum to put out two green balloons and a yellow one? Or maybe a black one with a pirate insignia on it?

Give the village something to discuss at their next tea-and-biscuits meeting!

OP I feel your pain, DS arrived 12 days late and three days after labour started I was ready to commit murder about once every 10 seconds. I wasn't very big though so I could still drive and waddle around. I passed the time by amusing myself with the faces people made as hey backed away when I told them I was more than a week overdue

I'd be tempted to send back a very sarcy response along the lines of; 'oh yes, we're there, slight complication though as what actually dropped out of my fanjo after 40+ weeks and 10 hours of labour was in fact an over ripe melon and therefore being kept in for further investigation'

But that's just me.

I am waiting for the daily phone calls from the mother in law to start... "Anything happened yet?" Errr, I think you might be somewhere at the top of the list... We're not going to forget to tell you your grandson's arrived...! You have my sympathy OP but sadly
It's one of those things, people get excited about new babies (women especially seem to want all the gory details )