Morning after pill didn't work... would you continue with pregnancy?

[everythingschanging]

I'm not sure what to do! I have PCOS and endometriosis, I needed fertility meds last time. We're getting divorced, financially I'm struggling... just to be extra safe I took the morning after pill when a condom split! But it's failed. It's the only bloody time I slept with him since he moved out 3 years ago.

Should I continue? I was against terminating till finding myself in this situation but it's really early days, there can't be a heartbeat yet I don't think? Will I have caused the baby to have birth defects by taking the morning after pill?

If I hadn't taken the morning after pill, I'd continue for sure... in such a state right now with crippling anxiety that I'll regret whatever decision I make. Anyone had a healthy child after the morning after pill failed?

I think you need to consult an expert, soon. I'm not sure what the morning after pill does exactly - how does it work? How long is it since you conceived?

It's about 3 and a half weeks since I slept with him, I thought it had worked as I had a bleed a week ago...but today I have a faint positive test (only took the test to reassure myself that I could breathe a sigh of relief!)

I think it's meant to throw out chemicals to stop the egg being fertilised and then prevent it from implanting even if it does get fertilised and cause bleeding.

It took years to conceive the child I do have!!! how can this happen? the 5% chance I thought would be neglibile considering my conditions

Morning-after pill failed for me too, and I decided to terminate because it was a bad bad time.
I hope you decide what's best for you; I would suggest talking to a doctor or nurse for advice. Good luck.

I don't know the answer but would be very wary of taking answers from anyone but an expert.

You can't make any sort of decision till you know the facts.

I would consider myself anti-abortion, though I don't truthfully know how I'd react with if I had an unwanted pregnancy.
Have you considered having the baby and then putting it up for adoption? There are so many couples who can't conceive, and who can't afford the cost of IVF. That's what I like to think I'd do in your situation.

I spoke to the dr over the phone, he was as useless as ever, just said nobody knows, maybe it will be fine but it's up to me to decide :(

I don't think I could live with myself if the baby had birth defects, knowing I'd caused them by taking that pill on purpose.

equally, considering terminating after this one seems so determined to be here and that I may never get the chance to be a mum again (years of ttc with the first!) is making my stomach turn

I guess I'm hoping someone comes along and says they have a kid who's totally fine who's a result of a failed morning after pill... the more I look, the more people I see saying it failed for them too (on other forums)

Which MAP did you take?

There is no evidence that Levornelle has any impact if there is a pregnancy. There is insufficient evidence on outcomes after ellaOne.

My friend has a beautiful 10 year old who came along after the morning after pill failed. She is absolutely fine. No ill effects. A quick google suggests that there is no evidence to suggest it causes birth defects.

Sorry you have found yourself in this situation. Maybe ask yourself, if the decision was out of your hands and someone else said "you MUST terminate/keep this pregnancy" how would you feel? What are your honest reactions and emotions. Best of luck - its a hard decision. I have had a termination and have never regretted it even once. But I was very sure as soon as I found I was pregnant.

You did use a condom AND emergency contraception, so there's no question of you being flippant about it all. It's simply a question of what is best for you right now. What about the GUM/sexual health clinic? They may be more helpful than your doctor!

The morning after pill shouldn't harm a baby if you take it and it fails. It uses hormones not chemicals to stop implantation - its basically just an extra strong contraception pill. So don't let that be the reason you have a termination and I suggest speaking to a gp for confirmation/reassurance of this

You are the only person who can know what's right for you. Timing obviously isn't good, whether you personally can continue this pregnancy with this timing is entirely down to you. There are many who would terminate and many who would still keep the baby. Personally I couldn't terminate but that is me personally.

Good luck whatever you decide, I'm sure it will all be OK in the end, whichever choice you make.

I'm not being funny but did you miss where I said I had years of ttc, problems that are supposedly meant to mean it's difficult for me to conceive and that I'm worried the baby will have birth defects caused by the pill if I continue??

How does adoption come into this? Like I'd give away a baby as though it's not good enough for me. No.. I'm thinking of the quality of life this child will have if it's physically harmed by the pill. THAT is what I'm worried about.

I used contraception, I slept with the man who is legally my husband despite that we're getting divorced. Now I'm in a bloody awful heartbreaking situation...

sorry Everything, I missed that bit when I was skim reading your post. That was a bit insensitive.

Have you thought of contacting the manufacturer and asking them what they would recommend? I think you need some better advice than you GP, who isn't a specialist, to be fair.

• just seen your second post, as gp was useless call local family planning / sexual health clinic. They should be well placed to advise you.

It's OK - we understand. People get funny about abortion talk.

Personally if you want the baby, even a little bit, I would continue with this pregnancy. There is no evidence to suggest the MAP will harm the baby. You could speak to the doctors again (a better one!) or see if there is an early pregnancy unit around. Try to control your anxiety - you CANNOT GO WRONG here if you follow your heart and only do what is right for your soul. I know that sounds a bit woo but financial, relationship and other shit is just an aside if you want to keep this baby.

sorry everyone who's replied since, I saw red and have been in floods of tears at the suggestion I should give this baby up for adoption because others would want it (as if I don't!)

I'm not sure what pill it was but I could probably find that out from the dr... that gives me some hope, thank you.

And thank you for the anecdote of your friend.

Honestly, the timing is crap of this...but I WANT this baby. I just also want it to have a decent quality of life, as I say if I hadn't taken the MAP then I wouldn't even be thinking about terminating. Circumstances are crap...but they were equally crap when I was going through fertility treatment with the first if I'm honest, it wrecked us as a couple with the stress and financial burden, and I'm still glad I have my son.

I had the same contraceptive failure, I was also on the pill so that was three failures! I also have pcos!
My relationship wasn't ideal (although very different reasons to yours). Termination was never an option for me, i knew I was keeping the baby and doing it on my own if 'dad' didn't want to know.
If your in doubts do talk to your gp to talk to a councillor. I made the decision for me then spoke to 'dad'. Not saying id disregard his opinion, but for me it's an opinion not his choice.

Oh and my little one is fine, I wasn't warned of any potential problems despite the barrage of hormones.

If its soley down to the MAP and fear of defects from it definitely speak to local sexual health clinic, they will have drs working there who specialise in this kind of thing and will be able to give much clearer advice on whether there is any reason to worry.

If you continue with this pregnancy you'll have far more hormones coursing through your body than were in the MAP on an ongoing basis.

I recommend taking to someone in a sexual health or Marie Stopes clinic they have far more experience with this than your gp and should be able to put your mind at rest.

In that case I would say its time for a Congratulations! You have got a very determined baby on the way. I would not worry about the MAP at all, really and truly. X

thanks damnautocorrect, I guess I know in future cases of a contraception failure not to bother with the pill. had I not bothered with it, I'd be pleasantly excited at the thought that despite everything the dr's told me when I was initially diagnosed it's happening (again!)

My husband/ex husband (what do you call them when they're legally still married to you but soon not to be??) isn't a bad guy, had we had an easier time of it we may still be together but I know straight off his reaction would be devastation if I terminate and he'll be supportive. I wasn't going to tell him if I terminated for that reason.

thanks everyone for your suggestions, I'm going to palm my son off on a friend tomorrow and go first thing to the epu or the family planning clinic (they're both within my local hospital) so I'll decide which one when I get there I think. I know epu will scan and if I see a baby's heartbeat on the scan then I wont be able to turn back and terminate so that's why I'm not sure where I'll go first. I like the advice of following my heart and doing what's right for my soul

Sorry I also missed the bit about your gp not helping!

I think your decision is made you just need the reassurance, the pp who suggested ringing the manufacturer is a great idea.

No one can tell you what decision to make as it's you and your heart that has to live with it, but I can't help thinking without some kind of 'confirmation' the map has caused a problem you will struggle to find resolve in making that choice 'in case'.

Good luck OP! I'll echo what PP said about there not being a wrong decision here as long as you do what is right for YOU.

It sounds like you do probably have your decision as others are saying. let us know how you get on tomorrow, good luck.

No real advice, just hope things go ok for you, take care