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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Teenage Pregnancy

59 replies

heccabecca97 · 30/09/2014 06:44

My name is Rebecca and I live in the USA. I am in Tennessee and I am lookin for all the advise i can get for my baby and me. I am 16 years old until friday. Please anyone ill love to have advise to be a good mom soon and just how to provide the best i can for my baby. Please no judgement for my age.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mumxof3x · 30/09/2014 07:00

I commented back on the other thread becca. I was abit older then you when I fell pregnant I was 17, my parents wernt too happy, I had to go and stay at my partners for a few week just till they got their heads around it, but all was fine after the initial shock. When my son arrived, it was amazing never felt a love like it, it was easy to adapt to been a mum really, however at times was abit strange seeing all my friends leading different lifes to me, but didnt really bother me..i went on to have my second at 20 and got pregnant with my 3rd at 22, I love been a young mum :) I do find I get judgey looks sometimes as I still look young for my age but I just brush it off, being young doesnt affect my ability to be a parent. Financially in the time whilst having children, Ive either worked or my partner, but now hes the worker as I am studying (i want to be a midwife)

Good luck...it changed my life alot, but for the better, and I wouldnt have it any other way x

redexpat · 30/09/2014 09:33

Always put your child's needs first. Honestly.

Dpnt be afraid to ask for help. At the same time, dont feel like because someone gives you advice that you have to take it.

Know your network. Who do you know who can help you? People are so willing to take the baby for a wslk etc, cook dinner. Dont be afraid to say, please could you put the washing on for example.

Stereotype alert: I know more americans go to church than in the uk. The impression i get is that either they are very hell fire and brimstone or amazingly supportive and practicle. Are you a member if the second type?

And as you are in the us, get to know the ins and outs of your insurance.

Good luck x

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 30/09/2014 14:39

Any advice on how to tell my parents? My dad has bad anger so im scared how he will take it.

OP posts:

firstposts · 30/09/2014 14:44

If you are worried, perhaps telling him face to face is not going to be best.

Can your mum tell him? If that's not possible could you write him a letter and leave it for him to read and process without you there?

Good luck, it won't be easy but nothing worthwhile ever is.

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 30/09/2014 14:54

Ive thought about tht but if i leave a letter and im not home then hell just come get me. My dad is a violent person so im scared. Its my main stress issue.

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TwigletFiend · 30/09/2014 15:23

Presumably you are still at school? Is there a school counsellor or someone similar, a chaplain maybe, that you could use to give support to you when you tell your parents?

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 30/09/2014 16:14

I will try tht. Thank u!

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mumxof3x · 30/09/2014 16:20

First time, my mum told my dad for me...the second time I txt mum and then she my father but at this point I was 20 and had left home and then the 3rd I didnt even tell them till I was 21week preg. But you are prob best seeking advice from a counsellor or teacher etc x

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 30/09/2014 16:27

Im just so nervous on how my dad will take it. Ive been kicked out before because of his anger issues with alcohol but never too long. So im nervous about if im gonna be kicked out again. I know ill go to my boyfriends house but still im stressed out.

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AdorableAbbie · 30/09/2014 18:24

Don't be too stressed out, what you feel now is what your baby also feels, just relax and think positive, I know at first your dad's initial reaction will be get mad at you but in time he can manage to accept the fact that you will become a mother soon.
ask your mom for help to tell your dad your condition.

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 30/09/2014 18:59

Okay i will thank u. I also wonder something else though. I contacted basically pregnancy advise and i thought tht if u had a period u werent pregnant but the lady i talked to said tht it is possible so i was wondering how thts possible? If so tht means i could of been pregnant since July.

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Moobaloo · 30/09/2014 19:06

You can have some bleeding in very early pregnancy which could be mistaken for a period, you will have a scan which will give you more accurate dates, but I don't know when you'll have that in America.

Have you had an appointment with a midwife?

Does your partner know?

OrangeyTulips · 30/09/2014 19:16

Becca sending you and hoping that you have some support and are not going through this alone.

OrangeyTulips · 30/09/2014 19:17

There is no judgement for your age at all.

Spaceboundeminem · 30/09/2014 19:24

Hi I was first pg at 15 but forced into a termination by having a abusive partner and a mam who kicked me out.

I then got pg at 17. He is 8 now and I had my second at 21 and my third at 23. It was lovely and while some things were hard (money esp) having my family has more than made up for it!

I'm sorry your dad is causing you such stress. I hope he surprises you and takes it better than you expect.

Try not to be too scared everything can work out and I hope this is the case for you!

OrangeyTulips · 30/09/2014 20:56

I read some of your posts on the other thread heccabecca In terms of practical things don't feel bad about using clothes and things that are donated to you by other Moms. Most of us get gifted second hand things from other parents so don't feel that you aren't being a good Mom if everything isn't new. People don't like wasting things so it's completely okay to pass things on and for others to use them. Also babies grow quickly so it's really useful if another Mom gives you stuff.

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 30/09/2014 21:00

Thank u so very much it means so much to me tht ppl r helping me through this. And yes my boyfriend knows about the bleeding and no i havent even been to a doctor yet at all. So no midwife. Idk how to find one. I really appreciate everyone who is helping

OP posts:

OrangeyTulips · 30/09/2014 21:13

If your boyfriend's Mom knows could you ask her for advice about seeing a midwife? If not is there a really nice teacher or counsellor at High School who you could confide in?

The midwife would check you over to make sure you aren't anaemic and she would check the growth of the baby by seeing how far your uterus has risen in your pelvis - she just uses a measuring tape and it's not painful. She would also organise a ultrasound scan so they can check dates and you would get to see the baby. They jump around a lot when they are small! It is getting to the stage where you need to check in with someone medical.

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 01/10/2014 01:51

How far along do i need to be to see the baby?

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3pigsinblanketsandasausagerole · 01/10/2014 06:04

Something can be seen on an ultra sound from just a few weeks so if you think you may have conceived in July then something should deffently be seen by now

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 01/10/2014 06:57

Okay i thought so. Especially since my stomach is sticking out already.

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OrangeyTulips · 01/10/2014 07:12

when you go for a scan they ask that you come in with a full bladder because that help them to get a good image. They can enlarge the image so that you see it properly. I was amazed by the detail and how bouncy the little one was. I ate chocolate before I went in so I must have given him a sugar hit.

OrangeyTulips · 01/10/2014 07:14

how are you feeling yourself heccabecca? Did you say that you'll be 17 on Friday?

smokeandglitter · 01/10/2014 12:07

My older sister was a teenage mum and she's always been brilliant with her two, so don't worry about your age. I was also pregnant in my teens, but I lost the baby in both cases. So no judging here!

I think you definitely need to see a doctor or midwife. I think in America your Dr can still refer you to the midwife. It's important to do this soon so that you and baby can have the right care. Also are you taking Folic Acid? If not you can buy it over the counter. It's important to take it in the early stages of pregnancy to help baby develop.

Original poster

heccabecca97 · 01/10/2014 14:20

Lol yeah i think ive craved chocolate. I woke up last night and i felt like a milky way was an abdolute need xD im feeling nauseous and feel like my stomach is spinning. I hope thts normal. Maybe the baby is just moving around alot. And no i havent got folic acid yet but i will whenever i can.

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